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bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:21 PM

I am a 13 year old girl and I self-harm on my left arm as I'm right handed, I know I shouldn't but my mum and dad argue a lot they've broken up and I'm stuck in the middle my mum cries herself too sleep every night and she takes it on me and it doesn't help that I get bullied as well.
I have about 6-70 cuts on my arm? I don't know what to do as I don't want to upset my mum more than I already have x

joypulv · Apr 22, 2013, 01:26 PM

I'm sorry about your parents, and your mother taking out her grief on you, and you taking your grief out on your body. You need to find a trusted adult at school to talk to and steer you in the direction of a good therapist. Please ask the nurse at school tomorrow!! And answer back what happens. If the nurse isn't there, the guidance counselor or your favorite teacher. Eventually your parents have to find out because of your age, so be prepared, but it's going to help YOU. They may be angry to hide guilt about not being there for you as parents.

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

I'm sorry about your parents, and your mother taking out her grief on you, and you taking your grief out on your body. You need to find a trusted adult at school to talk to and steer you in the direction of a good therapist. Please ask the nurse at school tomorrow!!! and answer back what happens. If the nurse isn't there, the guidance counselor or your favorite teacher. Eventually your parents have to find out because of your age, so be prepared, but it's going to help YOU. They may be angry to hide guilt about not being there for you as parents.

I can't do it though because the nurse or the school counselor will tell my mum and I'm scared of what the doctors will say? I need someone to talk to :(

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2013, 01:34 PM

Do you have any brothers or sisters? If so, how do you get along with them?

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:37 PM

I don't get along with my eldest and my little sister is too young to understand these things.

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2013, 01:41 PM

What does the bullying consist of? At school?

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:43 PM

Its people from another school so I think it's okay now but 15 of them tried to jump me, but I catch another bus and get off at another bus stop so they're unable to reach me.

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2013, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by bethcarson_x

Its people from another school so I think it's okay now but 15 of them tried to jump me, but I catch another bus and get off at another bus stop so they're unable to reach me.

Was this random or did they have a reason? 15??

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Was this random or did they have a reason? 15??????

Apparently I called them names down the phone but I seriously never my mum was with me all night I think one of my mates phoned them up, I wouldn't care if there was 1 or 2 but 15?

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2013, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by bethcarson_x

Apparently I called them names down the phone but I seriously never my mum was with me all night I think one of my mates phoned them up, I wouldn't care if there was 1 or 2 but 15?

That's a mate you don't need in your life! Are you in Australia?

The bullying thing is not a problem?

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That's a mate you don't need in your life! Are you in Australia?

The bullying thing is not a problem?

I think it's sorted now so I'm less worrying about that now, and I live in London.

joypulv · Apr 22, 2013, 01:58 PM

Your mother needs to know. Both your parents do, so that they grow up and start being responsible parents, giving up some of their fighting to do so. It's for THEIR good as well as yours.
Summer's coming... and you will be walking around with your cuts showing, or wearing long sleeves, and people will start wondering if you cut. (Or do drugs, even at 13.) Do you think a practical reason like that can help you stop? Is there anything you can think of that will help you stop?

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Your mother needs to know. Both your parents do, so that they grow up and start being responsible parents, giving up some of their fighting to do so. It's for THEIR good as well as yours.
Summer's coming... and you will be walking around with your cuts showing, or wearing long sleeves, and people will start wondering if you cut. (Or do drugs, even at 13.) Do you think a practical reason like that can help you stop? Is there anything you can think of that will help you stop?

I'm just so scared I'm literally crying my eyes out, I don't want to do it face to face?
I'm really sensitive and I keep things to myself a lot, my mum concerns about me when I'm quiet she asks if I'm okay such and such.. And I do really want to stop because like you said I don't really want to walking round with long sleeves in the summer, I really don't know what I could do to stop could you give me some ideas?

JudyKayTee · Apr 22, 2013, 02:06 PM

"Apparently" you called them names? You either did or you didn't. Either way, that's not giving anyone permission to jump you.

Sounds like you are getting dragged into your parents' problems.

You need to TALK to someone, live and in person - a relative, your mother, someone in authority at school, a Physician. As has been said those cuts/scars are going to be noticeable and I'd rather tell my parents before than explain it after someone in authority calls them.

I understand physical pain takes away the emotional pain. I truly do. I also know that cuts infect, people develop very bad scars, cutting gets worse and worse.

You need to trust someone - live and in person. No one here is judging you. Why do you think someone who knows you would be judgmental?

bethcarson_x · Apr 22, 2013, 02:15 PM

I will try to tell someone, thank you so much its just so hardd :(

Alty · Apr 22, 2013, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by bethcarson_x

I will try to tell someone, thank you so much its just so hardd :(

It is hard, but once you tell someone the weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

Your parents are going through a hard time right now. They shouldn't be dragging you into the middle, but they're human, they make mistakes, just like every human being on earth.

I have a feeling that once they know what their fighting is doing to you, things will not only be better for you, but they'll handle their issues differently as well.

Your whole family could use some family counseling to help you deal with what's going on.

Remember, your mom and dad love you. They may not love each other right now, but they do love you.

Talk to them. Swallow your fear, and just get it out. If you don't think you can do it face to face, write them a letter, let them sit and read it and then discuss it with them afterwards. You can do this, for your own good, and for theirs too.

Wondergirl · Apr 22, 2013, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by bethcarson_x

I will try to tell someone, thank you so much its just so hardd :(

Maybe the best way is just to show your mum your cuts.

Do you worry she will punish you?