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kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 06:23 AM

So I've been liking this guy for quite some time now. But there is a problem, and I don't know what to do, He's one of those funny dangerous kinds and by that I mean that he is really funny, always smiling, always has me smiling and laughing, when he is hurt, there is something in me that tells me I'm hurt too. He is in a gang, but I want to help him, because I know in the end it will all be worth it, but most of my friends like him too, but I like him A LOT and this girl, she has like a super huge crush on him, he's like definitely top 10 in my school. Oh did I forget to mention he has a girlfriend, I honestly don't know what to do, should I tell him?

JudyKayTee · Apr 4, 2013, 07:06 AM

No, you should leave him alone. He has a girlfriend.

Why would you hurt another woman by making a move on "her man"?

J_9 · Apr 4, 2013, 07:39 AM

He has a girlfriend, he is in a gang. You need to run like there is no tomorrow! Don't try to "fix" him. You can't. It's not your rite or responsibility to "fix" him.

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 08:28 AM

Okay, so about the guy from the earlier question, he's changing, he's really trying to be good, and now he's going to school everyday. About his girlfriend, I'm not making a move, I'm just really confused, I want to help him be the better him, and I know I can, and I really do like him... LOTS... and I don't know what to do. I don't want to run away from my feelings, but I don't k now how to run towards them.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 08:32 AM

Please stay on one thread with follow-up thoughts and information. I have merged your threads.

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Please stay on one thread with follow-up thoughts and information. I have merged your threads.

What?

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

what?

Do not start new threads on a topic that is still open on another thread that you started. You started a new thread. I combined the older one and the new one.

He is changing now and trying to be good. Are you influencing that or is his girlfriend helping him?

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

He is changing now and trying to be good. Are you influencing that or is his girlfriend helping him?

I'm helping him, telling him what's right and telling him to follow his heart, that he does't need to do anything he doesn't want to do, whenever he needs help, he comes to me, and I help him the most I can.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

i'm helping him, telling him what's right and telling him to follow his heart, that he does't need to do anything he doesn't want to do, whenever he needs help, he comes to me, and i help him the most i can.

So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?.

NOOO! Far from it, I'm just helping him to do what's best for him, to be the better him! I wouldn't do that to a girl, because then karma would get me back in the same way, I just have LOTS of feelings for him.

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?.

I'm not butting in at all, I'm just helping him.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

i'm not butting in at all, i'm just helping him.

How are you helping him?

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How are you helping him?

I tutor him, we play sports together so he won't be on the streets, I help him with his work, and other things like that

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

I tutor him, we play sports together so he won't be on the streets, i help him with his work, and other things like that

So you are slowly weaning him away from her.

What does she do for him to help him?

JudyKayTee · Apr 4, 2013, 09:29 AM

Do you know what I do when I meet someone I COULD really, really like - but he has a girlfriend or a wife? I walk away because that's what I would want another woman to do if she felt any type of physical/emotional attachment toward my husband/boyfriend.

I don't think you are being honest with yourself. He's a gang member and playing sports with you is somehow changing that lifestyle? I don't think so. Maybe you like bad boys. Maybe not.

I think you need to leave him alone.

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you are slowly weaning him away from her.

What does she do for him to help him?

She does nothing, she is the one that got him in the gang in the first place, sad, but true

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Do you know what I do when I meet someone I COULD really, really like - but he has a girlfriend or a wife? I walk away because that's what i would want another woman to do if she felt any type of physical/emotional attachment toward my husband/boyfriend.

I don't think you are being honest with yourself. He's a gang member and playing sports with you is somehow changing that lifestyle? I don't think so. Maybe you like bad boys. Maybe not.

I think you need to leave him alone.

Ummm... it's a girl friend, and I know I wouldn't want anybody tot do that to me, that's why I haven't done it, I'm trying to see how it can work out as us being friends. And sports do help because it's less time on the streets with the gang and he's really good so he's focused on the sports.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

ummm...it's a girl friend, and i know i wouldn't want anybody tot do that to me, that's why i haven't done it, i'm trying to see how it can work out as us being friends. and sports do help because it's less time on the streets with the gang and he's really good so he's focused on the sports.

But you are hoping he will fall in love with you.

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But you are hoping he will fall in love with you.

Hoping, maybe... but I know that won't happen, I'm trying to just be friends, if it works.

And hope is the only thing that can stand tall sometimes, if you have nothing, at least you have hope that you will get something.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

and hope is the only thing that can stand tall sometimes, if you have nothing, at least you have hope that you will get something.

Hope plus knocking yourself out to please him with food and gifts.

kiara-morales · Apr 4, 2013, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Hope plus knocking yourself out to please him with food and gifts.

Food? Gifts? Knocking myself down? NO. I just take it in my responsibility to help whoever I can help with whatever is in my power. I don't knock myself down to please anyone at all, except myself.

Wondergirl · Apr 4, 2013, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by kiara-morales

food? gifts? knocking myself down? NO. I just take it in my responsibility to help whoever i can help with whatever is in my power. I don't knock myself down to please anyone at all, except myself.

"Out," not "down" -- i.e. do your best to please them. So their smiles and thank yous mean nothing to you?