[fatdallas58]

I have a child that I found out was mine when he was 6 years old. He is now 15 and his mother has taken me back to court about 5 times to get an increase. I have never met him and I was never married to his mother. Since I found out I was the father, I have never missed a payment, provided medical insurance and dental. I understand that I am required to pay child support until his is 21 years old (New York) but can I be forced to pay for college for a child I do not know?

[Fr_Chuck]

The fact that you don't know him is your fault, you had rights to ask for visiation. If you failed or did not want to, that is not the mothers fault, or the child's fault.

The mother is within her rights to request money, normally only child support while in college will be required but she can take you back to court and ask for college money

[ScottGem]

I have to disagree with Chuck. When the mother first file for support she was awarded support. While she can try to get an increase in the support award based on changed circumstances (increase in your income), she can't go to the court and ask for an additional award.

As to your not meeting him and not being married, those are immaterial facts.

[fatdallas58]

@ Fr_Chuck, When the mother knew for 6 years that I was the father, then waited for me to go overseas for 3 years to tell me, I think that puts a damper on what kind of relationship we could have. Thank you for the input.

@ ScottGem, Thank you for the input. So are you saying if she wanted college money she should have asked for it at the beginning and that she can't drag me to court a few months before college and demand I help pay for college?

[ScottGem]

@ Fr_Chuck, When the mother knew for 6 years that I was the father, then waited for me to go overseas for 3 years to tell me, I think that puts a damper on what kind of relationship we could have. Thank you for the input.

@ ScottGem, Thank you for the input. So are you saying if she wanted college money she should have asked for it at the beginning and that she can't drag me to court a few months before college and demand I help pay for college?

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

As far as what Chuck said. I can understand your not having a relationship with the mother, but that has no bearing on your relationship with the son. As soon as you knew about him, you should have made every effort to become a part of his life. Don't punish the child for the sins of the mother.

[fatdallas58]

ScottGem,
Thank you for your help. I defintely understand about the Mother's sins not being the fault of the child. Maybe I could have done more but there are many other dynamics that I have not explained that make it extremely difficult. Again, thank you.