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Arm527 · Mar 25, 2013, 12:54 AM

Been with my boyfriend almost 4 years. Was really good to him, loyal, loving, treated him like a king. A week ago he told me he "has never been happy with me, his biggest regret was ever meeting me, he was going to erase me from his life..." Like I did something wrong. Come to find out he went out of town the night before to see a girl who lives four hours away. And they are now "in a relationship" and he is telling everyone how much he likes her and how "different she is" and posting it on FB for the world to see. I'm 27, he's 26, and apparently she's 22 or so.

Obviously they have been talking for some time, while we were together. I've been no contact since day one, and I'll keep it that way. My question though is how do you leave a 4 year relationship and get into a new relationship just 6 days later? And plaster it on FB and check in with her everywhere etc... It just seems like over the top and so much, so fast. Not two weeks ago, he's saying future comments like "babe, I can't wait til your finished with grad school in December and we can move here...I love you so much babe. Blah blah" then all of a sudden he's never been happy with me in four years and all that. I just don't get it? You want to be with other people or whatever, fine. But after just 6 days?

And to already be in a relationship? And make it so public? I'm just trying to understand. We really were best friends, and its just like I've been replaced by the new toy and he doesn't think of me at all? Like how can someone do that? And after four years together, he is just so happy with this new person? And I'll just never hear anything from him again, as easy as that? I just need any thoughts like how do you do that? (Ps I'm no contact, also blocked his FB and his friends and family, and asked people not to tell me anything about him).

Obviously he had been thinking about this, but I do know him. And I know he was happy. Not never happy like he said. And he knows what a catch he had and would talk about a future with me. I just feel like this decision was almost like an impulse to try it with a new girl. I don't know. Like I said, after 4 years with someone, you can really just jump into a new serious relationship that easy after just 6 days? ESP when I did nothing wrong and that's just it? Like I was never important and I'll just never hear from him again because he's so happy with her and she's "different?"

Oliver2011 · Mar 25, 2013, 04:31 AM

If he said those mean things to you what do you care what he does with his life from this point forward?

Also he is allowed to do whatever he wants after the breakup.

Move on, he obviously isn't worth your 4 year investment.

fredg · Mar 25, 2013, 05:42 AM

I, too, think you should move on, and Smile. Others will want to talk with you if you smile a lot. Things happen in life. I was divorced after 7 yrs of marriage, then re-married for 30 yrs, now a widower.
We can't make life do what we want, but we can accept what happens, and try to make it better. You will be much better off without this jerk. Good luck, and I do wish you the best.

Arm527 · Mar 25, 2013, 12:22 PM

I know he can do whatever he wants, but my question is how? And how so quickly like I never mattered? I will move on... I just don't get it. Like it was so easy for him. After just 6 days to already be serious with someone else.

Oliver2011 · Mar 25, 2013, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by Arm527

I know he can do whatever he wants, but my question is how? And how so quickly like I never mattered? I will move on... I just don't get it. Like it was so easy for him. After just 6 days to already be serious with someone else.

He probably mentally checked out of the relationship with you a while ago.

But seriously, trying to figure out him will only keep you stuck in the past. People change, their feelings change, and those aren't things we can control unfortunately. You do control how you feel so go out there and have some fun. I bet you will see that this is a blessing in disguise in the near future.

lovemynavy22 · Mar 31, 2013, 12:08 AM

Men process things differently. Their minds are so different. I suggest you do the no contact rule for 3 weeks. Start posting things on Facebook, such as Life is so much better now. Or I can't wait to hang out with whoever. This sparks his curosity. STart hanging out, going places and enjoying the single life. When he sees that you have quickly moved on, he will get jealous and probably want to come back if there's something there. Remember, men get bored easily. So if the routine got boring, he needed something new. I went through this. Too.

talaniman · Mar 31, 2013, 08:33 AM

Just can't accept he is a selfish liar, and cheater can you? If you did, you would know how the snake found another victim so fast. Yes it's a lot you don't know, and didn't see coming, and you were probably the last to know the truth.

When the shock wears off, and the dust settles you may find that you gave your heart to a deceiver.

Not sorry for your loss, just for your pain.