[simon59]

My daughter has been with a man for 13 years living common law. They have 2 children that we have spent hours with throughout their lives. They are now 7 and 9 years old. Since my daughter has met this guy he has worked on and off and never likes to take the blame for anything but finger points at everyone else for his situation--claims he has back problems and is fighting WISB. They never seem to have enough money to get by on. My daughter works part-time at a low wage to pay the bills but they seem to have never enough. We have given them close to $150,000 throughout this time to help them. Just the last 2 years we gave them $50000 cash but all is gone. We have provided them with many food vouchers to pay for groceries and have paid their rent.

Recently they have asked us if they could move in. My wife and I feel we have done enough. My son in law has not worked for the last 9 months -blames the government, doctors, his place of previous employment (for not receiving WISB) and other people all the time for his situation. He has no job, no benefits, and has angry outbursts now and then. We want him to get a job and look after his family financially.

We got some emails from him stating how bad things are going financially so we arranged my wife and I to meet at their place to discuss a solution. We told our daughter she and her two children could come back home and live with us and we will look after them financially till her common in law husband finds a job. We told him we do not want him to move into our house--but to look for work out on his own, and get established somewhere then come back and get his family. We feel this is the best way and he would not just sit around our place and only then he will break his daily dead end cycle. He flew off the handle, told me and my wife to get out of their apartment and F--k-O-f and he said we are no longer grandparents. He would rather see his kids, wife and himself sink altogether--it is all about him. (He is 47 years old, our daughter is 37 we are in our 60's) but why should we keep supporting this guy? He said I am your son-in-law and we have to. I believe he felt we were trying to break-up his family but he has got to change his direction---he is falling further behind financially.

You can see sometimes helping someone out trying to give him a chance in life --he throws mud at you. We have not heard back from them for 6 days now. I am hoping my daughter will see some light and dump this manipulative loser and come home. She says he just has these out burst of anger but she still supports him. I am really disappointed in him. I will not cave into him--he wants to come here then we get to see the grandchildren (This is really low down emotional blackmail)---I do not want him around here after swearing at my wife and I and after giving him all that cash---what a fool we have been.

[talaniman]

You have made the call, stick to your guns.