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jacobm28 · Mar 4, 2013, 09:10 AM

Ok I'm in a relationship, everything was cool, we're expecting a child in the middle of the year, anyway A lot has been sounding suspicious, it's a long distance relationship, well lately... going on for about a month now, it seems, feels and looks like she's lying about a lot of stuff, about her job, friends, I have a feeling she's really not pregnant, no paperwork has came in for me after she said its been sent to me by mail... THAT was said 2 months ago.. we hardly talk anymore, due to she's always tired and its ALWAYS approximate times.. EVERY time.. I call her out of the blue.. goes to voicemail.. am I just looking into this too much or do I have a legit reason for concern? I don't want a year of my life to go to waste after we put everything into it... any words of wisdom?

joypulv · Mar 4, 2013, 09:33 AM

Why isn't this part of yesterday's question? They are very much all part of the whole saga.
I'm not sure how we would know if she is lying or not. You cheated on her so of course you don't trust her - that's how untrustworthy people operate. You don't even believe her when she says she doesn't have her tax refund yet, good grief. If she knows half the things you mistrust her about, chances are she's done with you. Sorry.

jacobm28 · Mar 4, 2013, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Why isn't this part of yesterday's question? They are very much all part of the whole saga.
I'm not sure how we would know if she is lying or not. It is expected that you will think she is lying because you cheated on her. You don't even believe her when she says she doesn't have her tax refund yet, good grief. If she knows half the things you mistrust her about, chances are she's done with you. Sorry.

oh we talk it out, and before her I was in a bad marriage that inevitably failed due to her lying, cheating and drug use... I DO have trust issues and she knows and has accepted that, she's always been straight up before this past month... (before I cheated) god that sounds awful I know... but your response doesn't really help or hurt... seemed more like judgement.

joypulv · Mar 4, 2013, 10:10 AM

You asked 'am I just looking into this too much or do I have a legit reason for concern?'
My answer was that people who aren't trustworthy don't trust others.
This is judgmental, but anyone here will pretty much agree.
We can't possibly know what she is thinking, doing, or telling the truth or not about. So that leaves the words of wisdom you wanted, which you feel are judgmental.
You are on a sinking ship in my opinion - you seem to think she should move down where you are because you can't leave, even though you have nothing to offer and she is probably doing better where she is. So every little delay, every little missed call, grows suspicion in you. Maybe she isn't coming back, maybe she is, but if you continue to mistrust, you have sealed your fate.

jacobm28 · Mar 9, 2013, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

You asked 'am i just looking into this too much or do i have a legit reason for concern?'
My answer was that people who aren't trustworthy don't trust others.
This is judgmental, but anyone here will pretty much agree.
We can't possibly know what she is thinking, doing, or telling the truth or not about. So that leaves the words of wisdom you wanted, which you feel are judgmental.
You are on a sinking ship in my opinion - you seem to think she should move down where you are because you can't leave, even though you have nothing to offer and she is probably doing better where she is. So every little delay, every little missed call, grows suspicion in you. Maybe she isn't coming back, maybe she is, but if you continue to mistrust, you have sealed your fate.

OK update, I hadno need for concern, got a phonecall since and everyday since... she just works a lot and preparing everything for the move.. and to prove to me she wasn't lying or doing anything she sent me the papers for the sonogram

joypulv · Mar 9, 2013, 03:30 AM

Originally Posted by jacobm28

ok update, I hadno need for concern, got a phonecall since and everyday since...she just works a lot and preparing everything for the move..and to prove to me she wasn't lying or doing anything she sent me the papers for the sonogram

Wonderful. But don't forget that she won't forget all this, and when times get tough, they will come out as resentment. So you have a lot of work to do to make up for lost time.

jacobm28 · Mar 9, 2013, 03:33 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Wonderful. But don't forget that she won't forget all this, and when times get tough, they will come out as resentment. So you have a lot of work to do to make up for lost time.

I understand that.. and just because my exwife ruined all trust I had for women... I shouldn't drop my issues on my girlfriend, yea yea people say all women are the same.. but no its been a couple of years since my exwife did what she did.. ill probably look into things that might help me get over my issues.. I don't want to have them ruin what I got with her.. she's a good woman... something I'm not used to having.

And also thank you joypulv... this gave me alotta insight... haven't even entertained the thought of cheating anymore.. I really see this relationship going somewhere even after I admit my faults and wrongdoings that I've admitted to her... she accepted that I used to be a drugaddict, was with me and helped me via phone and text with my alcohol issue... and stuck by me through it all... if someone can look past all that.. then she really is someone special and I plan to keep her.