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Freefromvanity · Feb 28, 2013, 12:14 AM

I met my ex online when I was 22 she was 19 going into 20, I met her via MySpace. So we ended up talking on the phone one day, she asked for my number and we talked everyday night/day talked texted, for months. So one day she said she like me a lot an she had never felt like this before, giving she was a player when she was in Highschool/first year of college. But since we met she fell in love with me and I fell In love with her. I was her first love. She's a very attractive Latina, so when we first started having the long distance dating. I was always so worried she will cheat. But we dated for about 2.5 she broke up with me, in the last year we had arguments, trust was broken - doubts were high in both ends. I fell madly in love with her, and I knew she was in love with me. So all this 2.5 years we never saw each other in person but we always skyped or msn cam. We defiantly knew what we looked like all that stuff. So she decided to join the Army so she could be closer to me and so we could be together, I didn't wanted her too because I was afraid of things changing. ( did happen) anyway so during those few last months we argued and stuff but she will always tell me she loved and I loved her. So after her training she broke up with me, she always though that I secretly was seeing my friend but nothing ever happen with that friend. So she met another girl in the army that she more likely hooked up, but this she deneys. So when she will call me twice a month I avoided talking about the army because I thought that's what she wanted but I came to find out I was wrong, so I wasn't their for her so she told me. What I don't understand is how she will write me letters tell me she loves me misses me than a month later brake up with me and later I found she dating the girl she met at trianing. So I was heartbroken, I dated other people as well after a couple of months. So within those months she was Trianing and dating her she will call me & tell me she loves me and misses me. I will get drunken calls too a lot of them. But after a year they moved in together and she will still call me and tell me she loves me but we just can be together. During this time Im dating My friend still well on and off. So My Q is its Been about 2.5 years since we Broke up, anyway I want her BACK, I always have and wanted her back. All this time She's dated her, she Will call me and we Will talk. We will loose contact for weeks but we always end up finding each other and it's alwys like nothing happen like we pick up from our last conversation, I want her back and I know she still probably has feeling for me other wise she would not ask whom I'm dating and ask for how long or ask about the friend. Or tell me I look pretty and how I know her better than her girlfriend or how she missed me and even like 7 months ago she said if we could be back together "do you think we could work out this time"
I just really want her back and I'm flying out to see relatives and she lives in the same state and I asked to hangout have coffe she said yea and she's not telling her girlfriend.

HELP SORRY IT'S SO LONG,

I'm Latina as well.

Oliver2011 · Feb 28, 2013, 05:33 AM

Okay first off will this be the first time you meet her?

Move on - she is stringing you along. And what you had is not love. You can't be in love right off that bat without getting to know someone. What is the point of meeting her for coffee? Are you going to accept being the 2nd fiddle, the one she cheats with? You really should have higher standards for a relationship.

Also people show patterns of behavior. You said she was a player and that she cheats. Even if you did have a real relationship she would cheat on you too. Find someone that you can be with in person, get to know them, and start a relationship a lot slower than you started this whatever it is. What you have isn't love and you won't know that until you actually find true love.

Good luck!

smoothy · Feb 28, 2013, 07:43 PM

She's an EX for a reason... keep it that way... its rarely ever any better the second time around... and its usually worse.

Freefromvanity · Mar 1, 2013, 02:45 AM

Thank you for the help, & yes it will be the first time meeting.

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Okay first off will this be the first time you meet her?

Move on - she is stringing you along. And what you had is not love. You can't be in love right off that bat without getting to know someone. What is the point of meeting her for coffee? Are you going to accept being the 2nd fiddle, the one she cheats with? You really should have higher standards for a relationship.

Also people show patterns of behavior. You said she was a player and that she cheats. Even if you did have a real relationship she would cheat on you too. Find someone that you can be with in person, get to know them, and start a relationship a lot slower than you started this whatever it is. What you have isn't love and you won't know that until you actually find true love.

Good luck!!

Freefromvanity · Mar 1, 2013, 02:50 AM

I know sometimes ex's can't work back together, but we broke up mutually and yes I was hurt but we both decided to break up. I just don't understand why she still contacts me if she's not one bit interested in ever talking to me again. I just wondered why all this years we kept contact as friends but always end up telling each other at least twice a year we miss each other & still love each other. Even now when we talk she's so happy to just have the thought of finally meeting each other. When we broke up we lived in the same state we just never met because I was so upset because she broke up Me so saw no point. But I don't want to one day get married or anything else and not have met her.

Originally Posted by smoothy

Shes an EX for a reason.....keep it that way....its rarely ever any better the second time around.....and its usually worse.

smoothy · Mar 1, 2013, 05:47 AM

Originally Posted by Freefromvanity

I know sometimes ex's can't work back together, but we broke up mutually and yes I was hurt but we both decided to break up. I just don't understand why she still contacts me if she's not one bit interested in ever talking to me again. I just wondered why all this years we kept contact as friends but always end up telling each other at least twice a year we miss each other & still love each other. Even now when we talk she's so happy to just have the thought of finally meeting each other. When we broke up we lived in the same state we just never met bc I was so upset bc she broke up Me so saw no point. But I don't want to one day get married or anything else and not have met her.

Its possible to be OK as friends and not cut it as anything more. Some people can even manage to break up after actually dating for a long time and remain friends... though its not terribly common.

And there is the natural reaction to reach out for the familiar... And that habit holds people back more often than most people think... when your attention is on someone you know even if it didn't work you aren't seeing the other more suitible people out there, one of whom might actually be your soulmate. That's the point I was stressing the most.