[lostgirl2013]

I dated my ex for 1 year. It was the happiest relationship I ever had. When we started dating, he was upfront and told me he was planning on moving to go to graduate school. At first I didn't care much as it was a new relationship. We had an amazing time together, he is handsome, smart, caring, gentle, fashionable, just amazing to me. Then the time came around for him to move. He didn't want to pursue the relationship any further after he moved. And just like that we were done. He moved away and I have never seen him again since, well at least not in person just Skype a few times.
I was heart broken but was determined to move on with my life. I didn't have much contact with him after. I jumped right into dating. In retrospect, I should have taken more time to heal. I met a guy and started a rocky relationship. At this time I didn't have much contact with my ex and things were moving forward with this new guy. It's been almost 3 years. I am still dating the same guy and we have been living together for one year. I thought I had forgotten all about my ex. I was happy with my new boyfriend. But something feels off. It hasn't been an easy relationship at all. There have been lot's of up's and down's. He smokes a lot of pot, and although he has a good education and the ability to make good money, he can't seem to hold a steady job. I don't feel secure with him and I find myself constantly comparing him to my ex. He is the complete opposite of him. At this point I still haven't seen my ex since he left, almost 3 years ago. After some time of not having much contact, we started talking again. We chat online though just about everyday. Little things, nothing serious is ever discussed. It is all very innocent conversation.
The problem is that I am beginning to realize that I am still in love with my ex. I never got over him. I miss him so much and daydream about one day seeing him again. I did love my current boyfriend, I even thought we were going to get married. However, I feel like he just doesn't nurture our relationship. He burps, farts in front of me, loudly, doesn't groom himself and our sex life is minimal but he watches a lot of porn. He doesn't get along with my family and he is difficult to deal with at times. In fact, my family still ask me about my ex, even insinuating that I should get back with him. But part of me still loves my current boyfriend.
I don't know how to end this relationship as I am financially dependent on him and when I have tried to end things before, he somehow finds a way to smooth things over. I get to the point where I think things will change. They do temporarily but then it is back to the usual.
What do I do? Keep trying to work out this relationship? I do want to get married and have kids. Or end things and pursue my ex? I have no idea how he feels about me. He isn't dating anyone but is looking to be in a relationship. Only problem is he lives in the east coast and I live in the west coast. I feel torn. What should I do?

[Homegirl 50]

End the relationship with your current boyfriend and get your life together. Become financially dependent and make sure your current guy has no more influence, that you are completely over him, otherwise you are just repeating what you did with guy number 1. Don't run from him to go chasing after the first one.