[Sabrina1986]

I'm so desperate. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I looked for a male gyno because the female ones were not so sensitive. So I found the best gyno in the city and made an appointment. The first time he saw me in the waiting room when he called for a patient, he already had that pleasant look on his face. Later on, when I entered and he asked me to take off my clothing behind a wall, he complained that it took very long, and that probably during the cold weather, I would wear more clothing etc. When he examined me, whenever he thought I look at the screen, he looked at my private parts with such an excitement or pleasure it was strange to me. When I had told him his devices were a bit too warm, he said they have to be almost hot. Before leaving, he said in front of my husband he would like to see me again, in 2weeks time, which my hubby disliked terribly but he tolerated it. He hated him from the beginning.

Well, during my pregnancy, he wanted to prescribe unnecessary medication for me and my kid, antibiotics, which I refused and almost led us to fight. Later on, he did that test related to blood sugar and diabetes, although I had only gained 9 kilos of weight till the third term. I did not turn up sober, had fatty food the night before, as he told me I could eat till 12 o'clock. etc. So I told him, but he didn't care and wanted to send me to his colleague which I refused and went to my own practitioner. She repeated the blood sugar test and even a long-term test, which was below average. I was not even close to diabetes. When I returned to my gyno, he insisted on the fact that only because one test is positive, doesn't mean I don' t have diabetes and then I started a discussion with him, why he wouldn't be happy that every thing's fine and always look for some hidden diseases that others can't find. He suddenly turned very nice and friendly, praising my kid in the screening.

The time before, he had even asked if we fly somewhere for holiday and should enjoy our time together. I feel a chemistry that shouldn't be there. At the end, he even squeezed my hand tightly and touched my shoulder, saying that Me and your husband take good care of you. Don't worry. Out of fear, I canceled the appointment in his clinic, as I wanted to give birth there. He is the best gyno, but not for me. Why does he treat me that way? I have to admit I like him, too, and feel an attraction in the air which is not appropriate. Is it dangerous for my kid if I stay with him until birth? He makes sneaky remarks about the baby all the time related to looks, genes etc , also somehow aggressive remarks toward my husband. How to deal with it? I need some good piece of advice.

[Alty]

If he makes you uncomfortable, find another doctor. This isn't a difficult solution.

As for the test for diabetes, every pregnant woman has to take that test. It has nothing to do with your weight gain, or any desire your doctor may have for you, it's a standard test during pregnancy.

I'd love to hear your doctors side of the story, I'm sure he'd have a very different version than you do. But bottom line, if you don't like him, or feel uncomfortable, then find a new doctor. Problem solved.

[J_9]

I don't understand. You didn't want a woman doctor because they are not "sensitive," but when you find a doctor who IS "sensitive" you aren't happy.

It sounds to me like you have a very good doctor who is looking out for the welfare of you and your baby.

Seeing a patient every 2 weeks to a month is normal during pregnancy. I'm not sure why you and your husband got mad over that.

I also question your refusal to take prescribed antibiotics. Untreated infection can be very dangerous to not only mother, but baby. Your refusal to do this put your baby at risk for a multitude of problems.

Now, for the diabetes test. It's called a GTT, Glucose Tolerance Test and is done on every pregnant woman. This is a VERY important test to take, yet you refused again and went to a GP to have your blood sugar checked. Having your blood sugar checked and having a GTT are two totally different animals. It's like comparing apples to rollerskates. Gestational Diabetes can be VERY dangerous to both mother and baby and by refusing this very important test you put your baby at risk for macrosomia, glucose intolerance, etc.

An OB/GYN's office can be a very frightening place for many women. It sounds as though this particular OB/GYN is sensitive, caring, and compassionate, which is necessary for success in this particular profession.

As Alty said, you have a choice to return to his office or find another OB. However, I have to warn you that not all OB's will take new patients in later pregnancy. You will still have to take the required GTT for the health of your baby.

[Sabrina1986]

First of all: I am aware that the blood sugar test is necessary during pregnancy

The result, however, was negative, which didn't make him happy at all. The

Other doctor excluded diabetes completely, he wanted to say I have it. Full stop

I know I have to see him very often, and that he's good. He didn't care that I

Wasn't sober and refused to repeat the test. That itself is not professional. Con

Cerning my urine, I don't have any infection during pregnancy which was

Clarified by another practitioner. I don't need antibiotics and I don't have any

Infection. How come everybody says everything's perfect but him? You can

Build your own opinions, but you aren't in my situation. I know I have to see

Him often and all tests are obligatory. But he constantly changes between

Being flirtatious and frightening me to death, that's all.

[Alty]

I have to admit I like him, too, and feel an attraction in the air

But he constantly changes between being flirtatious and frightening me to death, that's all.

You yourself said you find him attractive, you like him. Now he suddenly scares you to death?

Sounds to me that you're feeling guilty because you like him, you want him to flirt with you, you're aroused by him, and you know it's wrong so you have to make him the culprit in order to take the blame off you.

My advice stands. Don't like him, find a new doctor. That's the option you have, and really your only one.

Good luck.

[Sabrina1986]

Also I think before replying, you should read my post carefully. I have said that the GTT was

taken twice, even the long-term value was taken twice, by my Dad who's a doctor, too and

by some other practitioner. He wanted to send me to his friend to prescribe insuline and

I had the test repeated because I wasn't sober. And it was far from diabetes.

[odinn7]

So you were drunk when you went? Pregnant and drunk?

[J_9]

You weren't "sober?" You were drunk? Maybe you have other issues that need worked out.

[Sabrina1986]

Alty: I think it' s a general problem that women are always seen as the provocators of attraction. I don't feel aroused by him, I don't want him to flirt. It makes me uncomfortable in front of my husband. I will change doctor, its just that: It takes 2 for tango. And it is unprofessional to let personal feelings influence the work. Also I think its inappropriate for a doctor to flirt with his patient. So your argument doesn't make sense to me. If I want him to lick my , pardon for that language, will he do that too?

I am not a native speaker of English, I am German
I mean I had eaten the night before and drunk juices till the morning. How is that called in english?

I should have kept away from food and juices for about 12 hours and only drunk water

[Alty]

Alty: I think it' s a general problem that women are always seen as the provocators of attraction. I don't feel aroused by him, I don't want him to flirt. It makes me uncomfortable in front of my husband. I will change doctor, its just that: It takes 2 for tango. And it is unprofessional to let personal feelings influence the work. Also I think its inappropriate for a doctor to flirt with his patient. So your argument doesn't make sense to me. If I want him to lick my , pardon for that language, will he do that too?

I have to admit I like him, too, and feel an attraction

You already said you're attracted to him, or was that a typo, did you mean something else by that?

It is inappropriate for a doctor to flirt with a patient, but none of what you wrote leads me to believe he's flirting. All of your complaints about him are things you perceived, or medical issues you didn't agree with. That's not flirting, that's being a good doctor.

I am not a native speaker of English, I am German
I mean I had eaten the night before and drunk juices till the morning. How is that called in english?

You were fasting, or were supposed to fast. Actually, you should have stopped eating at midnight, with nothing to drink until your appointment, not even water, if I remember the test correctly.

I'm German too. If you don't know how to post something in English, write it in German and I'll translate.

[Sabrina1986]

Thank you , I don't need your translation skills. Frankly, I think it is senseless to discuss that with anybody here. He is not worried, he drives me bonkers by saying there are diseases that don't exist. Caring , yes, and I have just written I think he is a nice man. I don't feel attracted. Maybe next time I'll touch his shoulder, too, now that you say its not flirting:))Never mind, I'll take all of this as a compliment and change my physician. And meanwhile I know I had to fast, that's why I did it the last time where it was negative for the 200th time. I had some vocabulary problem, don't need medical advice.

[Fr_Chuck]

The way this site works,
We give over all advice, not always what you want, but what we feel you my need to hear.

It does sounds, perhaps translation issue, that you were not aware that it sounds like you are getting proper treatment.

[talaniman]

If you see the doctor and not be sober, there is no telling what you are reading or misreading about him. Any doctor you are first seeing takes time to not only build a history with, but the proper rapport with. He doesn't know you personally,or medically, so of course his ways are strange.

Is this your first child? Maybe a bit of over reacting on your part is part of this also, and to be honest your whole notion of female gynos not being sensitive threw me off as how many of those have you had?

I think you are overly sensitive and argumentative by nature, or the pregnancy makes you so. Who goes to a doctor not being sober?

[Sabrina1986]

I have never said I don't get proper treatment. You guys are diffucult. Yeah, its my first child and I didn't know I had to fast. I have become tired of repeating myself over and over again. With sensitive, I meant that many of them told me things like you have an upperlip beard forget it you will never get pregnant etc, your belly looks stupid etc. Well, I normally get on extremely well with men. That's what I mean. I was raised in a Mediterranean family, I am not oversensitive. We say things to each other you guys would never do. But I understand you, as you are not in my situation, you can't really understand me.

[joypulv]

Whenever we hear a serious complaint about a person who isn't here to give his side of the story, most of us ask a lot of careful questions, and don't just start giving advice assuming that the story is true. It isn't that you are wrong until proved right, it's an attempt to sort out the facts from the perceived facts. No matter how much you describe this doctor, it is impossible to tell whether he is attracted to you or just considers his approach a good one for helping women feel good about themselves in his office.
It sounds like your husband was in the examining room with you at all times? To my mind, that one fact alone should take away your doubts. But your husband didn't care for the doctor either, and you don't care for some of the medical advice, so that's that - he's not the right doctor for you.

[talaniman]

I don't think he desires you at all. You are just having your first life changing experience... child birth.

[odinn7]

You guys are diffucult. Yeah, its my first child and I didn't know I had to fast. I have become tired of repeating myself over and over again.

Sadly, that is a result of you posting very unclear and sometimes bizarre information. In order to give you an answer, we need to understand things as they really are and you have made that very difficult yourself.

Having said that, I agree with Joy. It's impossible for us to tell how this doctor feels.

[JudyKayTee]

I think this is the stuff of fantasyland - "With sensitive, I meant that many of them told me things like you have an upperlip beard forget it u will never get pregnant etc, ur belly looks stupid etc." I find it difficult to believe that Physicians (and not just one) say things like this.

OP's father is a Physician but she's here asking us for advice?

And, of course, there's the whole matter of " If i want him to lick my , pardon for that language, will he do that too?"

With any luck the Physician will come on with his own question!

[Sabrina1986]

There is no fantasyland, I swear they told me, however the ladies seemed quite stressed and older in age and had somehow stress themselves. With all due respect, my dad is a brain surgeon, not a gyno. I did not ask for medical advice here by the way. Now I'm going to leave this forum, you can have different opinions, but nobody has the right to accuse me of lying. When people address their issues here, it is difficult for them, because you are not in the situation, and even with different opinions, sensitivity should be required.

[Alty]

There is no fantasyland, I swear they told me, however the ladies seemed quite stressed and older in age and had somehow stress themselves. With all due respect, my dad is a brain surgeon, not a gyno. I did not ask for medical advice here by the way. Now I'm going to leave this forum, you can have different opinions, but nobody has the right to accuse me of lying. When people address their issues here, it is difficult for them, because you are not in the situation, and even with different opinions, sensitivity should be required.

We were sensitive, we gave you the only advice we can, and that's to find a new doctor if you're uncomfortable with this one.

The fact is, we only have your story to go by, and your story is all based on how you feel, no actual evidence that this doctor has done anything wrong. In fact, the way your story reads, he's doing everything he can to ensure a healthy pregnancy and a healthy fetus, but you fight him every step of the way.

Does he desire you? Well, only he knows. From what you've told us, I'd say no, it's just your imagination. That doesn't mean you should stay with him, it only means that you can't prove, at least not to us, that he's doing anything wrong. So leave, find a new doctor, that's your choice, your option, and completely up to you.