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k2sexyblueeyes · Feb 19, 2013, 02:28 PM

Hi there so my husband and I have been together for 3 yrs and I introduced porn to the bedroom I have always wanted a 3 some and had a lot of fun watching porn and flirting with girls to try and bring home to play out the fantasy. Well one night we were watching porn my husband said oh baby do you like her ***** you want to see my **** in it I said oh you baby you want to see that **** in my ****. Well it through a big argument he wasn't OK with me saying that and yelled at me for 4 hrs while I cried the hole time.

Ever since then I haven't been able to watch porn without getting weird and uncomfortable. I still talk to girls and want to have a 3 some but don't want to watch xxx movies. My man plays with toys on me and says he wants to watch porn as it's his toy and I get my toy and so on forth.

I guess what I'm asking is how do I overcome the fear of porn its like I'm scared to let it turn me on makes me feel guilty looking at another man. We've tried lesbian porn but it doesn't turn him on as much and still made me feel awkward. I guess I'm just not sure why I'm like this thought someone could give me advice sorry it's so long.

odinn7 · Feb 19, 2013, 03:54 PM

Sounds kind of unfair and maybe even a bit controlling on his part. Why is it OK for him to say that to you but when you say something similar to him it isn't OK? You maybe need to actually talk to him about this without fighting about it. Tell him how that made you feel and what it did to you when he yelled at you.

talaniman · Feb 19, 2013, 07:51 PM

You are supposed to feel awkward because he is a BOOB! His action were uncalled for and scared the hell out of you.That won't change unless he changes, and if you cannot talk about it, then it gets worse not better.

CravenMorhead · Feb 20, 2013, 08:28 AM

Seems like a double standard to me. He can talk dirty about sticking this thing in other women but you can't about having others stick their thingy in you.

I don't think the issue here stems from you, but from him. He's okay, and expects you to be, with him in another woman, but not with someone in him. Having his cake after he's eaten it. This thought process relates to the last few millennium of patriarchal society. Basically you're his and only his. Since you're his wife, all his kids by you need to be by him, so you are sexually exclusive to him. That isn't the case for him, because he knows that his legitimate kids are his and he can have a illegitimate kid or two on the side, but those don't really matter. So this idea has been a part of MOST societies for a long time.

That is the behaviour. It isn't acceptable in this day and age. You need to talk to him about his behaviour. The best way to approach this is to tell him how YOU feel. How all this made you feel. Not to accuse him of this or that. That will just close him up and lock him up. That isn't what you want or need. As well this will allow you to talk about limits and guidelines for dirty talking and porn watching.

Don't expect watching porn to be as comfortable as it used to be, you will need to wean your way into that. It won't be a jump in.

Though I have a question, why do you want a threesome? Do you want it? Or do you want it because he wants it? Who are you planning on inviting? Man or woman?

Oliver2011 · Feb 20, 2013, 08:35 AM

I could never agree to a threesome unless I wasn't in a relationship. The thought of someone else touching my partner would haunt me forever.

smoothy · Feb 21, 2013, 06:28 PM

How old is he... sounds rather immature and insecure to me for him to act like that.

Alty · Feb 21, 2013, 06:40 PM

This whole thing is screwed up.

I've been in a threesome, and I wasn't even in a relationship with either of the guys. It was not good. Okay, to be fair, the actual threesome wasn't bad, but the crap storm after the threesome (all three of us were in relationships with other people, they were dating sisters) was not good. It all hit the fan, and guess who got the brunt of it? Ya, that's right, me. I had two sisters that wanted to beat the crap out of me, and a boyfriend that actually did.

Threesomes, to me, are taboo. Not because of the act itself, but because I have yet to meet a single person that pulled it off so that no one involved got hurt. For a married couple, well, you may as well sign the divorce papers before you do it, because it's inevitable (that's my opinion).

Your husband is a control freak. He wants to be able to watch porn, run his mouth off, but when you express your fantasy, he gets mad. That's another warning sign that your fantasy threesome, will be a disaster. He can't even listen to you talk about having fun with someone else. Imagine if he has to watch it.

You two need to sit down and figure out what's okay in your relationship, and what's not. But, if it's not okay for you, then he better stop too. He either accepts it all, or shuts his pie hole.