[Coltain13]

So I have been broken up with my girlfriend of eight years for about 3 weeks but I have only accepted it for about a day.
I posted a pretty lengthy write up on reddit about it if you care to read.
8 Year relationship officially ended (X-Post from /r/offmychest) : BreakUps

But I am here to talk, ask, discuss something a bit different.
Most of the sites and forums that I read are always talking about how X person did this to then and it ended or just out of the blue they broke up and never talk again. I feel that my story is pretty much different from all of the others.
I didn't have a job and she was OK with that, thought it would make me happy. But after a few years she started to feel like my mother and less of a romantic relationship, she was unhappy. Which I understand but I figure getting a job would change all of that but I spoke to her last night, I have been spending the last four days at a friends house out of town, and she doesn't think anything will change. At least not in the immediate future. So I finally accepted that we wouldn't be getting back together after getting a job. I am so heart broken and I feel like a mess. But I know that I will live.

My thing is, we ended on good terms. We don't hate each other and we still talk and stuff. She still has feelings of love and caring for me and I feel the same towards her. She just doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. Doesn't like how we interact and talk, while we were living together.She hated the fact she had to take care of me. I know that it is fair for her to feel that way and I do understand. I just feel that it is unfair to not let me prove I can be different. She has noticed that I have changed, but she just thinks that her feelings won't change.
I hope that when I prove to her that I am different and that I can in fact provide, take care of myself, and just in general be better that she will want to be back together. I am not holding my breath and waiting on it but I am hopeful. I know that it will not happen over night and I am expecting it to take a while, if ever. I just hate the fact I have lost someone so special and amazing over something so silly. I guess it angers me that we split over something that seems so trivial and that I won't be able to fix it or give another go at it.

I really want to be friends with her, I want to help her in anyway possible. I just want to amend for my poor life choices, I have to make better life choices and this is how I intend to start. She is an awesome person.

It feels unfair and I don't really know how to deal with it, my story seems so much different from everyone else's. Hopefully over the next few weeks and months I will be able to heal up and start feeling like my normal self but I don't see that happening right at this moment.

Sorry for any repeats and stuff that doesn't make since. I didn't get much sleep and had a few dreams about her last night. I want to tell her but I don't know if I should.

Feel free to ask any questions and I appreciate any comments on the subject.

[chelseykae]

From a girls point of view I have been with my fience for 8 years as well and things don't get easier with time as people have told me. I love my man to death but sometimes I wish I could just run away from him and get some space to breath... maybe she just wants to see what other opertunaties are out there and see if you really are the one for her I know some of this is going to sting but life hurts I'm no expret but I can just give you my p.o.v. she is tierd of rutine and if you have told her you are going to change she wants to see it before she believes it all I can say is give her her space and if you are still friends and can still be on great terms that's awesome and high 5s to both of you for that because that's not easy just give her the space and maybe it will be good for you to you can take this time to focus on you and the things you like I know its not going to be as fun as it would be if you two were still together and not having that person that you care so much about being there to talk to is prob. The hardest part loneliness will go away but maybe once she sees you happy with yourself and you situation what ever it maybe that will make her happy 8 years is a long time but just try and keep busy

I hope everything works out for you I really do

[fredg]

My first marriage lasted 7 yrs, and I was divorced with 2 small boys... they went with their mother. I re-married 3 yrs later, and was married for 30 yrs, before my wife died 6 yrs ago.
We try our best in life, but something always happens. You will get over this, and move on. It happens to a lot of people. Today, over half the marriages end in divorce.
I do wish you the best, and you can move on, and live life. You will eventually find someone else, but will never forget her. I have never forgotten any of the girls I ever liked. I am 71 yrs old. Best wishes, and good luck.

[Coltain13]

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement, cheleseykae and fredg.
I know that I will some day get over her and that some day I will find a new love. I just don't think I want to accept it. I feel that it shouldn't have ended the way that it has. I know that there is nothing I can do about it right now besides let her and myself heal just, it hurts. I have never felt like this for anyone else. I know I am still young so I have a lot of disappointment left in life but I also have a lot to live for and a lot of ways to be happy.
Just wish it was different.
Again thanks for the kind words you two.

[chelseykae]

If u ever need to talk I'm here :)