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    samira111's Avatar
    samira111 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 6, 2013, 07:27 AM
    Please help me, I'm really confused by many thíngs!
    About a year ago, I met a shy man at my work place but in different department. Whenever I saw him I had a bad feeling. He was famous of behaving women badly.
    I saw him in one of our mutual friend's party. I noticed he sometimes looked at me. Later, in another party, he was staring at me while playing guitar and no one could see him.
    One day, I could dare to talk with him.

    Then, I had to move to another city but we had contacts on Facebook. After a year I came back and he's different. He smiles, laughs and talk with women. I felt he was happy to see me again.

    For my birthday, my colleagues and I decided to go to a restaurant. Although he was ready to go home, I invited him and he came willingly. There he played piano and he knows I love music.

    Now, we can see each other once a week at work when we have to report in a meeting. There's not a time to talk especially when I have to talk with many people. I feel he thinks I ignore him. On the other hand, I don't like my colleagues know about us and make gossips. But I'm not sure it's true that I ask him for a date, and tell him I'm tired of this distance between us, I want to be real. Some say not to tell him you love him but when I ask for a date it exactly shows to him I love him! And If he asks me!

    Last week, I told him something and I think he got upset. Should I say sorry?

    I'm divorced and he doesn't know. Those memories make me behave like a fool and of course, fear of rejection from him. I'm not sure about his feeling.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #2

    Feb 6, 2013, 08:04 AM
    Asking him out on a date does not tell him you love him. How can you love him when you really don't even know him?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 6, 2013, 08:14 AM
    He has a reputation of not being a very nice man to women and you're just coming out of a divorce, why are you even playing around with this guy? If he still thinks you're married but is willing to flirt with you anyway, what does that say about him.
    You need to slow down. Let yourself heal from the divorce before you start approaching men.
    samira111's Avatar
    samira111 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 6, 2013, 10:51 AM
    Hey guys, maybe we can't talk face to face too much. But I know him. I just tried to explain shortly.

    The problem is he's too shy to do some things. I don't think he wants to tease me. He's over 33, so probably he has some sort of exerience with a woman like me that I can't trust him easily.

    In fact, everyone at work likes him now. I told he smiles and talk with women now.

    And I got divorced 4 years ago. Should I wait more and cry for ex?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 6, 2013, 10:56 AM
    I still say that if you want to go out with him, then ask him out. Simply asking someone out doesn't mean that you're in love with them. Love is a whole different matter.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Feb 6, 2013, 11:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by samira111 View Post
    Hey guys, maybe we can't talk face to face too much. But I know him. I just tried to explain shortly.

    The problem is he's too shy to do some things. I don't think he wants to tease me. He's over 33, so probably he has some sort of exerience with a woman like me that I can't trust him easily.

    In fact, everyone at work likes him now. I told he smiles and talk with women now.

    And I got divorced 4 years ago. Should I wait more and cry for ex?
    Your question was not very clear. No you should not wait if you've been divorced that long.
    If you want to ask him out, do it. You're not asking him to marry or declaring love, you just going on a date.

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