[Kat89007]

I’m normally good at love but not when I’m not the one on the sidelines. I don’t know what to do, it’s quite awkward as we are friends but it’s obvious we both like each other more than that. I’ve known him for only 2 years but fells like at least 5. He’s got a girlfriend but they never even talk and he told me he only said yes because of the pressure and didn’t want to upset her but it still means he’s unavailable. He keeps flirting and asking me if I’m single and who I fancy and stuff.

I really don’t know what to do. I’ve fancied him for ages and me and all my friends think he likes me. I know he used to all last year but really don’t know what to do and I don’t think he does either. Please help

[FightingBlues]

First of all, you shouldn't be chasing another man who has a girlfriend no matter how dead that relationship may seem and no matter what his feelings may be towards you. If he has the courage to fight for what he really wants, he will have no problem leaving his current girlfriend to be with you. But a truly stand up guy will not confess his feelings for another woman behind his gf's back and he will not lead you on while being in an intimate relationship with someone else. If he's this way with her, there's a good chance he'll be this way with you once the honeymoon phase of the relationship has passed. My best advice is to leave him alone and if he wants you, he will do it the right way and break it off. Otherwise, he's just playing you both.

Seriously though, I think he is playing you! Stand up for yourself by seeking a man who can fully commit--not one who has one foot in a relationship and one foot outside the relationship. If this man has no problem doing this to his present girlfriend, you will see the same repercussions ensue in your relationship with him if you pursue this. Save yourself the hurt by recognizing the red flags as they're occurring... not after! Also, he might be getting a bit of an ego boost from you if you allow him to keep you on the sidelines. Don't give him that gratification because you deserve so much more than a guy who will allow you to waste your time waiting for him to act on his feelings. Good luck!

[samcreed]

I know what I would do... I would look for some new friends, and forgot about him. He really doesn't care about you, or at least not enough to be a b/f.
If you will meet others, be honest and be respectful, you will eventually find someone who will really like you, and you him. I wish you good luck, and remember, you determine how your life will be... not someone like him.

[Kat89007]

Thanks... Both really helpful... I have been trying to avoid him because I don't want to actually cause the break-upbut he keeps calling, and mesaging... so I don't really no what to do... I can't completely ignore hiim we have too much history... :/

[FightingBlues]

You have to completely ignore him for now because if you don't, he will think this type of behaviour is acceptable and that he can bend you to liking him any way he pleases. You have to set boundaries with him and be firm that this is going nowhere. If he refuses, hold your ground. If he gets fed up and threatens to drop the friendship then let him walk. Friends come and go all the time and this wouldn't be the first time that someone has had to let a longtime friendship go. Sometimes toxic friendships are not worth hanging on to no matter how much history you both may have. I know it's extremely hard when you're a caring person but if you don't, you will constantly torment yourself by having him be a part of your life.

Either he wises up and keeps it friendly or it's time to put your foot down on where you stand and what you are willing to tolerate.

[Homegirl 50]

This guy is playing you. If he were that miserable with his current girl friend he would leave her.
Ignore him. He will soon get the message. You start to look elsewhere. Get a new circle of friends.

[talaniman]

History doesn't matter, you tell him to dump his girlfriend, or leave you alone. How old are you? 13,14? Block him, and ignore him because he is a lying cheater.

You are right, he is VERY unavailable, so educate your friends

[Kat89007]

Thank you all so much and yes I'm 14... thx again you all helped tons.. xx

[Alty]

I'm going to steal one of Tal's lines. Never make someone a priority in your life but allow them to make you an option in theirs. I think that's how it went. Correct me if I'm wrong Tal.

In other words, he's with his girlfriend, isn't breaking up with her, but flirting with you, and you're letting him get away with it. Why? You have more self worth than that. If you're going to date someone, date someone that would do anything to be with you, that makes you number one in his life. You're not even a close second to this guy, in fact, I'd put you in third place.

He's really not worth your time, or effort. If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. He's with someone else, and that is really all you need to know.

Trust me, one day you'll meet a guy that would move heaven and earth just to take you out to dinner, just to spend time with you. That's the guy that's worthy of your time. This guy, not even close.

[Kat89007]

I know and I can tell that but he told me he doesn't like her and he just went out with her from peer pressure as his friend is his girlfriends cousin... thankyou all x really helpful.. so grateful

[Alty]

i know and i can tell that but he told me he doesnt like her and he just went out with her from peer pressure as his friend is his girlfriends cousin.....thankyou all x really helpful ..so grateful

Kiddo, they all say that. If I had a dime for every guy I liked, that had a girlfriend, that told me "but we're having problems. I don't really like her, I just went out with her because it was expected, or because of my friends". I'd be rich. Back then I thought it was true. Now I know that it's just a line. They're cheaters.

The fact is, he either mans up and dumps her to be with you, or he chooses to be with her. Either way, it's his choice, unless he plans on staying with her forever because of his friends. You have the power here. You can choose to find someone that wants to be with you and only you, or you can allow yourself to be used, and what he's doing is using you.

[Kat89007]

Thank you millions... all of you