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    Lexus13's Avatar
    Lexus13 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:14 PM
    Underage sex
    Okay, I'm 13 and me and my boyfriend had sex twice and both without protection. He said he didn't release anything inside of me. But how am I for sure cause I'm acually getting a little fatter but then again that could just be bloating and I am way to scared to talk to my parents about it cause they will kick me out. I need help cause I think I might be pregnant. :(
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:21 PM
    You should have thought of this before you engaged in risky behavior. We can't tell you whether you are pregnant or not. If you have missed your period and are about 2 weeks late, you can take a pregnancy test.

    Hopefully you are not, but anytime there is penile insertion there is the risk of pregnancy. No one should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are ready to have a child,
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:31 PM
    Your parents kicking you out are theleast of your worries if you are pregnant. Pregnancy at your age can be life threatening to you as well as the baby.

    Are you prepared to die for a few minutes of fun? Yes, you could die. I've had little girls like you die after they have given birth.

    With that said, you will have to wait to see if you get your period when it is due.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:35 PM
    Yes you could be pregnant.
    1. boys lie about releasing, most will not control it
    2. even if he does not, there is sperm often in the early fluids

    So you will normally not have any signs of pregnancy till you miss the first period. So how many periods have you missed.

    Two weeks after your first missed period you do a pregnancy test.
    Do the test with the first urine of the day.
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #5

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:35 PM
    Honey, you should ask yourself if the sex is worth all this worry. I am sorry you are going through this. And yes even if your boyfriend pulled out before he came you can still get pregnant... you should wait to have sex as in my opinion 13 is much too young and as a parent myself I might be highly disappointed in my child but never would I kick her out. If you are pregnant then I bet your parents would not kick you out. None the less if your not then I highly advise you to ALWAYS wear protection! Pregnancy is not the only thing that can come of sex that can effect you for the rest of your life.
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    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #6

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:37 PM
    Well, first, I think you need to stop having sex and stop seeing this boy. The relationship is way too fast for you at this age. Don't think I'm treating you like a baby because I'd say the same even if you were 16. At 13, you really aren't even old enough to date in my opinion. You should not have sex until you are old enough and educated enough to live independently and support a baby because, even with birth control, pregnancy is a serious risk every time you have sex. You cannot count on boys to stick around and help - in cases of teenage pregnancy, they almost never do. In almost every case, the girls expect they will and are shocked and hurt when the boys act like every other teenage boy and disappear. It's not because boys are terrible but because boys are not men, and are not ready to be parents.

    The other thing that's critical before you have sex is that you be old enough to have full rights over your own body as an adult and can go to the doctor, get on birth control, and make decisions for yourself and your baby without needing your parent's to know about it and give their consent. You are still 5 years away from this level of maturity. And you need to be mature enough to be able to insist on birth control being used every time - condoms for safety against sexually transmitted diseases as well as the pill or other pregnancy prevention that's entirely under your personal control - not relying on the boy. You have to be mature enough and confident enough to be able to openly talk about sex and disease and pregnancy risk with your partner before you become sexual, and if he is not a virgin, to insist that he be tested for sexually transmitted diseases before you have sex. You have to understand that you can contract diseases with any type of sexual contact including oral sex, and you have to know that his lame claim that he didn't climax inside of you is the oldest line in the book - millions of babies have been conceived by men who claimed they "pulled out". It is the worst imagineable form of birth control.

    Second, your parents can't throw you out at the age of 13. They are responsible for you for 5 more years by law. If they threw you out they'd go to jail for child endangerment and abandonment, so don't worry about that - not going to happen.

    Third, if there's a possibility you are pregnant, you no longer get to just think of yourself. A pregnancy at your age can be higher risk because your body is likely not done developing and it's really important that you get prenatal care and advice. You need education about your body and pregnancy and the needs of your baby to make sure things go properly. So, if you are pregnant or might be, you need to put the baby or potential baby first and tell your parents so you can go to the doctor, find out if you are pregnant, get the right information and advice, and then decide on a plan for yourself and your baby.

    Fourth, I don't know how old this boy is but if he's 17 or older he's a criminal for having sex with you.

    You are a kid playing with adult behaviors, without taking any adult responsibility for them. You are way over your head and need your parents to be involved. They will be mad and disappointed and upset - that's going to happen so you might as well get through it with them now. A pregnancy and baby are not easy to hide, and it's really irresponsible to try. The earliest months of pregnancy are the most critical for preventing major birth defects, so you do not have time to hold off on telling them.

    This may feel like the end of the world but it isn't. Lots of girls have been in your shoes and it's hard, but they get through it. Don't sit in fear of this situation alone - your parents will start mad, then will help you. Let them be mad and let them help you.

    And don't panic - at your age everything feels like there's no solution and no life ahead but that's not true. Every problem has a solution, no matter how serious. You will get through this.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #7

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marq123 View Post
    i highly advise you to ALWAYS wear protection! Pregnancy is not the only thing that can come of sex that can effect you for the rest of your life.
    She's 13... although I understand your intentions, we don't recommend such things to underaged kids here. At her age, there should be no sex.

    You should stop pretending you are an adult. You better hope and pray that you aren't pregnant. If you get lucky enough to get past this without being pregnant, then you better learn from this and not be engaging in sex until you are old enough and responsible enough.
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #8

    Jan 29, 2013, 06:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    She's 13....although I understand your intentions, we don't recommend such things to underaged kids here. At her age, there should be no sex.

    You should stop pretending you are an adult. You better hope and pray that you aren't pregnant. If you get lucky enough to get past this without being pregnant, then you better learn from this and not be engaging in sex until you are old enough and responsible enough.
    I am not recommending a 13 year old to have sex as I said 13 is too young... however, at the chance this pregnancy scare or everyone else telling her not to have sex because she is a child does not work and she still decides to have sex, proper precautions should be made and made known!
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #9

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:04 PM
    That's great but it still comes off as if you are saying that using protection is all she needs. I am simply telling you that by saying this, you are pretty much telling an underaged kid that sex is OK as long as protection is used. On this site, we don't do this... she is underaged and should not be having sex at all. Period.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #10

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:14 PM
    Marg, we understand what you're saying, and while we do agree that advising someone to have safe sex, is not a bad thing, in this case it's a matter of the law. There is no state, if the OP (original poster) is in the US, where the legal age of consent is 13. In most states it's 16. In Canada the legal age in most provinces is 16. In other words, this is a child, not someone that's able to legally consent to having sex. As such, we will not give advice on how to have safe sex (because there is no such thing) because she's not legally allowed to have sex. The only answer in this case is "you're too young. Stop having sex".

    On this site we do have a very strict policy when it comes to giving sexual advice. We won't to anyone under the age of 18.

    If a child comes on and asks if she's pregnant, we will tell her how to test for pregnancy, but we won't say anything that could sound like encouragement to continue having sex.

    To the OP, there's no form of birth control that's 100%, so, even if you followed Marg's advice and used protection, pregnancy and STD's are still possible.
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #11

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Marg, we understand what you're saying, and while we do agree that advising someone to have safe sex, is not a bad thing, in this case it's a matter of the law. There is no state, if the OP (original poster) is in the US, where the legal age of consent is 13. In most states it's 16. In Canada the legal age in most provinces is 16. In other words, this is a child, not someone that's able to legally consent to having sex. As such, we will not give advice on how to have safe sex (because there is no such thing) because she's not legally allowed to have sex. The only answer in this case is "you're too young. Stop having sex".

    On this site we do have a very strict policy when it comes to giving sexual advice. We won't to anyone under the age of 18.

    If a child comes on and asks if she's pregnant, we will tell her how to test for pregnancy, but we won't say anything that could sound like encouragement to continue having sex.

    To the OP, there's no form of birth control that's 100%, so, even if you followed Marg's advice and used protection, pregnancy and STD's are still possible.
    This makes complete sense. Understood!
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #12

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marq123 View Post
    This makes complete sense. Understood!
    That is what I was trying to say but as usual, Alty said it better than I did. I did not mean anything against you. I apologize if it came off that way.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #13

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marq123 View Post
    I am not recommending a 13 year old to have sex as i said 13 is too young... however, at the chance this pregnancy scare or everyone else telling her not to have sex because she is a child does not work and she still decides to have sex, proper precautions should be made and made known!
    It works if you remind them Herpes is forever... and AIDS doesn't have a cure either... and if she gets HPV... which is epidemic with certain age groups... she might get and die of cervical cancer before she ever reaches 30 or 40, because they aren't expecting it in people that young. And LOTS of young people in their teens have all of those.

    And protection is NEVER 100% effective even with people old enough to understand how to use it correctly... meaning she can still catch whatever disease he might carry as well as still get pregnant.

    Hell, want to scare the hell out of them... tell them to Google up pictures of a Herpes outbreak. AS well as Syphilis and Gonorrhea. There are drug resistant varieties of those going around too. Let them see for themselves... pictures are worth a thousand words.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #14

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marq123 View Post
    This makes complete sense. Understood!
    :)

    Welcome to the site. :)
    marq123's Avatar
    marq123 Posts: 47, Reputation: 5
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    #15

    Jan 29, 2013, 07:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    :)

    Welcome to the site. :)

    Thank you! :)

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