[BornAgain618]

I was born and raised and went to school k-8th
To a catholic school. After 8th grade I quit going. Mainly because I was forced to to cause of school as well as feeling like for lack of a better word a zombie. Not trying to offend anyone. I respect all faiths and religions but after years of no church I went back to my church to find what I was missing. A relationship with Christ. No such luck found myself jist repeating what's been instilled in my memory and leaving feeling no such connection with God. Honestly I know not one Catholic who understands the religion or reads the Bible or connects with God.
I found my church that felt better than home at a Christian nondenominational church. Got involved with a bible study group and all and honestly can say I felt the presence of God in prayer and life. Very overwhelming and very sad when you go through seasons and lose that feeling.
Anyway
Main thing my girlfriend and I fight and let it go over is religion. Her family jjst strictly catholic but seem to have open minds to seeking other churches and congregation long as its still about God and His Son. Yet like many women nooffense are hard headed. She refuses to give an open minded shotat my church mainly cause an ex goes there. Understandable. So I offer a new church on her side of the metro area still refuses. Doesn't want to convert or change religions. Even when facing striking similarities it's a no go and when asked if she feels a connection or even knows about the faith and her answer is no she still won't try elsewhere. I love her so I deal with it but staying connected in anonline fellowship and reading my bible only goes so far you know?
How can I get her to be open minded about this?
I'm not trying to convert or substitute her faith or family background with my current beliefs but I just speak as a prior catholic who felt nothing remotely tto a connection aand as a Christian who found Jesus and now has a relationship with him cause of my church and such. I just want her to know Jesus cause I feel she may not if she just keeps going along with tradition and nothing else. I feel awkward even wanting to ask tto pray over a meal cause it would be a prayer and not the traditional "grace" sorry to be so blunt but I amateur work with this on my mind and just rapidly thought I'd ask a question :/

[Alty]

So basically you're saying that because you didn't find a connection to God in the Catholic religion, she can't possibly have a connection because she's Catholic? That's what it sounds like.

Is she expecting you to give up your beliefs and go back to Catholicism?

If she's saying "I expect you to be Catholic, and I can't stay with you unless you become Catholic", or you're saying "I expect you to go to my church, and follow my beliefs, and I can't stay with you unless you do", then end the relationship.

Personally, I'd reach a compromise, that she can be who she wants to be, and follow the religion she believes in, and so can you, with neither one of you trying to convert the other. Of course, if you decide to get married, and have kids, the religious issue will have to be resolved, because you'll have to choose for your children, or do what I did and allow them to choose for themselves.

Is it possible that you can both accept each other for who you are?

[BornAgain618]

No I did not say that somewhere in there lol is
If not worded then meant to be that I even asked her if she has a connection to God or feels His presence or even knows anything about God and Christ or can't give me any reasons besides her family is so that's whwhat she is (she's that way about politics and few other things I.e. no clue or knowledge or reference of it but will fight tooth an nail to defend nothing over cause its how she was rraised)
She has admitted her church gives her no thrill excitement or any eemotion whatsoever and leaves feeling empty and wasting an hour sitting in a pew and gaining nothing
I have been to a few Catholic churches before finding the one I tended that brought me to the church I found as home and all left me empty. Not saying her case is the same as a solution I offered going to baptist, catholic, nondenoinational churches etc (long as it follows and teaches the bible and its focus is fellowship and Jesus I really don't care what area of Christian it is long as we lleave knowing Jesus a bit more. Than we did.
She isn't very open minded and has a mmy way or highway attitude toward things aand doesn'tbudge ever on anything its what I love and not so mmuch about her lol.
Far as kids go I don't believe in forcing a kid to do what they don't believe in. I will read and tteach them the bible and about God and Jesus and if interested let them g to church but that's how I was raised as well. Let them make up their minds and then follow that. Long as they aren't into drugs smoking and alcohol abuse I'm OK with their choices and will guide them the bbest I can if not as Christians as humans

[Wondergirl]

Catholics are Christians, and in fact, were the earliest and first organized Christian body -- evolved from the early churches in the NT.

[joypulv]

You think she is hard headed.
You think she isn't open minded.
YOU are the one with the problem of not accepting her as she is. Isn't that the most Christian attitude you could possibly have, ACCEPT her belief?
I love it when people say 'I'm not trying to convert or substitute her faith or family background with my current beliefs but... '
BUT BUT BUT yes that's exactly what you are doing. You think you found something worth finding, and she doesn't. You think you are right. You 'JUST WANT HER TO blah blah blah' do this, try that, find what you found. You claim to be so understanding and open but you aren't. End of story.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry, Catholics are Christians, you seem to be very closed mind and bigoted on this.

First Catholics like any faith have people of various levels of beleifs. Do you know that there are spirit filled Catholics who speak in tongues, use the gifts of the spirit.
Do you know it was the Catholic Church, that set the cannons for what books are in the bible.
Do you know that in the Catholic Church, they have more bible readings, than most non catholic churches do in the actual service.
Most Catholics read their bible daily more than most other faiths.

I am sorry you did not like it, but I am glad you found Christ in your own way.
It does not make theirs wrong and to be honest I worry about you, since if you don't accept them as fellow Christians, just with another method of worship, ( more formal) then perhaps you are not filled with the true Spirit of Christ.\

The only issue I see here is you and your lack of understanding and lack of accepting another Christian

[BornAgain618]

I am sorry, Catholics are Christians, you seem to be very closed mind and bigoted on this.

First Catholics like any faith have people of various levels of beleifs. do you know that there are spirit filled Catholics who speak in tongues, use the gifts of the spirit.
Do you know it was the Catholic Church, that set the cannons for what books are in the bible.
Do you know that in the Catholic Church, they have more bible readings, than most non catholic churches do in the actual service.
Most Catholics read their bible daily more than most other faiths.

I am sorry you did not like it, but I am glad you found Christ in your own way.
It does not make theirs wrong and to be honest I worry about you, since if you don't accept them as fellow Christians, just with another method of worship, ( more formal) then perhaps you are not filled with the true Spirit of Christ.\

The only issue I see here is you and your lack of understanding and lack of accepting another Christian

Fr chuck don't worry about me worry about your literacy please re read my original post where I have clearly stated I know catholics are Christians and I am well aware that all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are catholics. You seem to be very close minded sir not to speak out of line but I have seen posts of yours on an individual name icecream asking a ssimilar question where you closed off the entirety of Christians and focused solely on Catholicism. Seeing your name I'm assuming your Catholic perhaps a priest so its fair to say you'd be one sided. And yes I know allabout the catholics setting the foundation of the bible but it is solely based on christianity not just the Catholicism foundation. I understand if my original post was all over the place I was rushed to post it due to at work but I clearly state knowingly the difference of the two and also never once state anything about not accepting her beliefs her beliefs are the same as mine she just only knows of the traditional setting of catholic mass and service. My church teachesfrom the bible and helps you understand it all opposed to catholic churches I've been to as well as HER ADMITTANCE of also feeling her church priest says a few words and that's it elders read a few verses and say the word of God "thanks be toGod" and that's it you're on your own. I simply suggested if she is not finding anything of any sort of her desire in seeking Christ that she may find it in another setting
You all think I'm trying to change someone's faith and judging her for it clearly you don't read my replies and pick out what can be used to debate my initial effort of trying to help. I was Catholic and my girlfriend is she does not find what she wants in her church I simply suggested trying a church like mine as well asanother catholic church "shop around" per se till a church is found that you find Christ
I made a suggestion not a command please understand the difference I should not have to reiterate this Evert time
Thought I could find advice on here sorry tto ssay I was wrong

[BornAgain618]

Also I never once said I don't accept her as a christian did I? Nope. I accept her as she is and who she desires to be and what religion she desires to be. She couldbe Muslim I wouldn't mind. I have a phenomenal relationship with Christ she wants the same I simply suggested if she isn't finding it in her church than she may give mine a chance. The difference in service was a culture shockto me. The dress code the music the teaching/preaching instead of being so traditional I hadnoidea what to do where to start I felt like I was talking toair when praying now totally opposite. I just was seeking advice in case she feels the same on how to be open minded about it cause something so different from the usual tends to scare people more than assist. Never made a demand only a suggestion just to reiterate yet again.

[Wondergirl]

The title of this thread is, "I am Christian but my girlfriend is catholic."

That says you are Christian, and she is not.

[Alty]

Fr chuck don't worry about me worry about your literacy please re read my original post where I have clearly stated I know catholics are Christians and I am well aware that all Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are catholics. You seem to be very close minded sir not to speak out of line but I have seen posts of yours on an individual name icecream asking a ssimilar question where you closed off the entirety of Christians and focused solely on Catholicism. Seeing your name I'm assuming your Catholic perhaps a priest so its fair to say you'd be one sided. And yes I know allabout the catholics setting the foundation of the bible but it is solely based on christianity not just the Catholicism foundation. I understand if my original post was all over the place I was rushed to post it due to at work but I clearly state knowingly the difference of the two and also never once state anything about not accepting her beliefs her beliefs are the same as mine she just only knows of the traditional setting of catholic mass and service. My church teachesfrom the bible and helps you understand it all opposed to catholic churches I've been to as well as HER ADMITTANCE of also feeling her church priest says a few words and that's it elders read a few verses and say the word of God "thanks be toGod" and that's it you're on your own. I simply suggested if she is not finding anything of any sort of her desire in seeking Christ that she may find it in another setting
You all think im trying to change someones faith and judging her for it clearly you don't read my replies and pick out what can be used to debate my initial effort of trying to help. I was Catholic and my girlfriend is she does not find what she wants in her church I simply suggested trying a church like mine as well asanother catholic church "shop around" per se till a church is found that you find Christ
I made a suggestion not a command please understand the difference I should not have to reiterate this Evert time
Thought I could find advice on here sorry tto ssay I was wrong

We all volunteer on this site. In other words, we took the time away from our families, our lives, to come here, read your post, and then offer advice. You don't have to take that advice, you don't have to agree with it, but you should be Christian enough to say thank you, and be respectful.

If you don't like the advice you've gotten, then ask your friends, or your family.

This thread may as well be closed, since I doubt anyone else is going to take the time to give you advice when you reply the way you did above.

Good luck.

[BornAgain618]

The title of this thread is, "I am Christian but my girlfriend is catholic."

That says you are Christian, and she is not.

Was referring to the style of worship in service
Not the faith or religion just the diverse VERY DIVERSE environment of service and conduct.
I understand that thank you for pointing it out ifthats why the misinterpretation is seen than wish the first person would have brought it up. Thank you.
I understand as said Catholics are Christians butnot all Christians are Catholic. Just as not all Christians are baptist, Presbyterian, evangelical etc etc.. I simply meant
She is accustomed to the very very traditional reptetive form of faith and knows nothing outside of that.
I was the same sought elsewhere found Jesus and simply suggested if she is not finding Jesus through her church. Then perhaps a change NOT OF FAITH OR WORSHIP OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT but a change of scenery in Church may help her find Jesus. She sees churches as a place of hypocrites and those who show up Sunday for the image and I agree iI believe many are as well but I am suggesting an alternative not forcing one and trying to let her know tofocuson God and finding Christ and being filled with the Spirit and not on the who's who and so and sos but on growing in your own personal faith and relationship with God
Sorry sso long just trying to meticulously explain so there is no further misinterpretation

[BornAgain618]

We all volunteer on this site. In other words, we took the time away from our families, our lives, to come here, read your post, and then offer advice. You don't have to take that advice, you don't have to agree with it, but you should be Christian enough to say thank you, and be respectful.

If you don't like the advice you've gotten, then ask your friends, or your family.

This thread may as well be closed, since I doubt anyone else is going to take the time to give you advice when you reply the way you did above.

Good luck.

I am Christian enough to say thanks but I apologize if taking an honest question of how to help my girlfriend fond Christ in a different setting if she chooses to do so andhandle the difference in service cause in my opinion the difference isveey intimidating compared to catholic mass
I have reiterated every post clearing any misconception of my iintent and received assumption and judgment instead of questions to clarify before assuming and responding I apologize if you wasted your time I do not seek friend and family advice ccause I feel it's a bit bias but hoped to find assistanceand advice apologize if I wasted your time and I apologize for the way I responded but its frustrating when people who call themselves Christian are judging anotherover a simple question. You can close the thread imeant no insult or offense and apologize thank you for your time

[Wondergirl]

That repetitive stuff you are talking about is called ritual, and is very useful to Christians. I'm sure you have ritual in your religious life and even in your daily life. (You have a routine like putting on your jammies and brushing your teeth before going to bed every night? That's ritual.) Your girlfriend may not appreciate it now, but one day she will and will recognize it for the truly helpful worship aid it is.

Rollo May, a famous psychologist and author, said that rituals provide structure and absorb anxieties. You might want to read one of his books, The Cry For Myth (available through your library), that has a section on ritual and how important it is for our lives. The Catholic Church, along with many other churches, is structured around ritual. The rosary, genuflecting, the prayers at certain times during the service, the congregation singing of hymns or the singing by choirs, the liturgy with its responses are all ritual, done in a certain order and for a certain reason. Even your spirit-filled church has ritual for the organization and security of the members.

Oh, and I am a Lutheran minister's daughter and have a sister and a son who joined Pentecostal churches some years ago.

The best way to "find Jesus" is by helping the "the least among us" -- by volunteering at a soup kitchen or food pantry or people/animal shelter or hospital or nursing home. That's where Jesus is. That's where He fills our spirits.

[BornAgain618]

That repetitive stuff you are talking about is called ritual, and is very useful to Christians.

I understand that about rituals. Guess what I meant was the fact mass just seems the sameevery Sunday to where it can almost be predicted and conducted blind and deaf
Rituals are important immensely I agree amdiwill look into the book after this rreply and see if its on Google play since I'm on my Droid right now
We volunteer at food drives and such a soup kitchen is a wowonderful idea we love helping peopleand homeless and less fortunate are a soft spot for us and will see if she would've interested. Thank you great suggestion
I still have catholic rituals so I don't disapprove of them but at the same time she has said there's no excitement and she just feels like she's there and finds herself lost in imaginativethought instead of on the sermons.
Jist thought perhaps a different style may intrigue her interest and attention and help her focus moreonthe teaching instead of the speaking
Its amazing to see such a diverse acceptance in a ffamily God is good and its wonderful we have many routes in the same belief that leads us to the Lord

[Wondergirl]

Finding Jesus has to be exciting?

P.S. No, Mass is not the same every Sunday. Check into the church year and the plan that is followed. Talk with the priest about the order of the church service and why things are done the way they are. The best class I ever took was one about the church service and the liturgy. The second best class I took was about the schedule of the church year, the colors of the vestments and altar cloths and why that was.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, every week there are different bible readings, every week the sermon is different.
What is the same is some responses, and some prayers, Lords Prayer, Apostles Creed and other prayers that many Christians have long forgotten. The songs are different.

But part of the reasons there are some so called christians ( will not use capital c for them) that teach the Catholic Church is a cult and are not Christians, your post made you sound like a very right wing Christian who believed that.

[joypulv]

Bornagain, you are so full of it.
You came here asking how you can get your girlfriend to try your way of seeing things. When we challenge you, you backtrack all over the place, even going so far as to say she wants something else.

"Main thing my gf and I fight and let it go over is religion."
Why are you fighting AT ALL over religion if you are so open and accepting?

"Yet like many women nooffense are hard headed."
Stereotyping like that is a sign that you are going to have some serious problems with relationships with women.

"How can I get her to be open minded about this?"
She IS open minded. She's going out with you and not trying to get you back into the RC Church.
You don't 'GET' anyone to do anything they don't want to do unless you hold a gun to their head.

You are a mass of contradictions, embarrassingly so, and don't even see it.
Get off your evangelical high horse or you will lose her.

[tickle]

Bornagain, you are so full of it.
You came here asking how you can get your gf to try your way of seeing things. When we challenge you, you backtrack all over the place, even going so far as to say she wants something else.

"Main thing my gf and I fight and let it go over is religion."
Why are you fighting AT ALL over religion if you are so open and accepting?

"Yet like many women nooffense are hard headed."
Stereotyping like that is a sign that you are going to have some serious problems with relationships with women.

"How can I get her to be open minded about this?"
She IS open minded. She's going out with you and not trying to get you back into the RC Church.
You don't 'GET' anyone to do anything they don't want to do unless you hold a gun to their head.

You are a mass of contradictions, embarrassingly so, and don't even see it.
Get off your evangelical high horse or you will lose her.

Ahmed to everything you pointed out!

[BornAgain618]

Joy you are the reason many I know who were once catholics quit attending. From reasons as church's making parents sign they will raise their kids as catholics to bashing every one with a different view on their journey to Christ. My contradictions and backtracking is best defined as clarification.
Does she try to turn me roman catholic as you desperately made a point to prove? Yes she has in past said she has no reason besides her parents to knowing why she's catholic and has admitted no understanding to her faith or why they do what they do as well as argued with me our children if have any will be raised catholic go to a catholic church and practice Catholicism. Which I have no problem at all with.
My issue why we argue is cause I attend church regularlyand she does not at all so I questioned why she is so strict on catholicism if she does not attend herself and does not show interest in the church. She has no answers and when trying tofind Christ she has admitted she is lost and has no idea where to begin.
I am not backtracking or contradicting simply saying she is lost and I am trying to help her. TO REITERATE AGAIN cause obviously hooked on phonics doesn't work for everyone... I did not command or force this idea or suggestion on her I simply suggested trying elsewhere and if not interested tto do so than to find another Catholic church to where maybe the congregation speaks more to the heart cause at the end of the day it isn't about catholic Christian Presbyterian baptist etc its about Christ. And while Catholics I have no issue with my problem if any is you think you are the hhigh almighty of allchurches and force your beliefs and rituals down the throats of those who disagree and its this or nothing as to nondenomination is accepting of all cause it isn't about who's what donomination its about God its not about catholic mass its about God at the end oof the day whether you are catholic baptist whatever it holds nolevel of importantce or status over another what matters solely is are you finding Christ through your church or connecting more with Christ in your church than outside of church. So to you who think I'm right wing and contradictingi understand you probably get fed up with my long repliesand probably skip its entirety to jump on my back but take time to see I don't care what she is or what faith she desires to follow. I jjst want her to have a rrelationship with Christ I don't care what church she goes to as long as she finds one where she feels connected to Christ foronce. Say I'm disrespectful but no one points out joys ballistic radical remarks and tone of disrespect. No disrespect but reply as you will but I will be not viewing replying or coming back to thus site of hypocrites like joy.
This is about Christ not about catholic vs others this is ridiculous to those who made peace and great suggestions thank you and those who saw past my posts and allowed neyo clarify thank you. And to those who focus solely on me as someone trying to help someone who finds nothing to connecting with Christ and offering another Catholic church or a church like mine as a hypocrite and right wing horror trying to destroy her beliefs for my own and fails to read fully what imsaying than I pray for you and may God bless

[Wondergirl]

You said, "are you finding Christ through your church or connecting more with Christ in your church than outside of church." What does that mean? What do you consider a "relationship with Christ"? Do you have one and how is it expressed?