[nikkiandbilly]

Okay I am back with my oldest sons father. I also have another son by another man... who is not in our lives... doesn't make any attempt what so ever and the boyfriend and I plan to marry and he wants to adopt my youngest son and give him his last name... do I need to get in touch with my ex in order to do this? He is not on the birth certificate he's only seen the child maybe three times before he turned a month old... he's 15-16 months old now. I don't want any rude comments or bashing. I really just want opinions or thoughts that may help me out in this situation. Please and thank you!

[Synnen]

In most states, you must be married for a step-parent adoption to happen, and married for a reasonable length of time. Most places, it is one year.

You must also get the permission from the biological father for this to happen. In fact, you must first establish legally that he IS the biological father.

My suggestion is to consult a family law attorney in your area and to use that attorney throughout the adoption process. Adoption law is tricky, and one false step can leave you open to having the adoption overturned. You CAN go through an adoption without an attorney, but you can also set a bone without a doctor. I wouldn't recommend doing either one.

[Fr_Chuck]

Be married for one year,
Hire an attorney,
The attorney will contat the ex and get the ex to sign over his rights to the child. There may be a need for a DNA test, since it appears paternity has not been proven. ** unless done in the courts.
Most men who are not invovled are glad to sign this over, since their child support ends. ** assuming you filed to get child support from him.

[ScottGem]

Three words: Get an Attorney!

By not putting the father on the birth certificate, you have actually made things harder. The courts will generally require that the father be identified and contacted for permission for the adoption. This may require paternity testing, if the father denies paternity.

So to insure this is done properly you need an attorney to advise you on how to proceed. So start shopping around for an attorney now.

There is a case currently before the US Supreme Court where a child was adopted without the father's permission and the lower courts voided the adoption. So you want to make sure its done legally.

P.S. Please don't presume to dictate who can answer your posts and how. Once you post, you open yourself to any response as long as it doesn't violate our rules (in which case you report it). We don't bash people without due cause, but we do respond with honesty, sometimes to the point of bluntness.

[nikkiandbilly]

Three words: Get an Attorney!

By not putting the father on the birth certificate, you have actually made things harder. The courts will generally require that the father be identified and contacted for permission for the adoption. This may require paternity testing, if the father denies paternity.

So to insure this is done properly you need an attorney to advise you on how to proceed. So start shopping around for an attorney now.

There is a case currently before the US Supreme Court where a child was adopted without the father's permission and the lower courts voided the adoption. So you want to make sure its done legally.

P.S. Please don't presume to dictate who can answer your posts and how. Once you post, you open yourself to any response as long as it doesn't violate our rules (in which case you report it). We don't bash people without due cause, but we do respond with honesty, sometimes to the point of bluntness.

I like blunt honesty. No problem there. I just didn't want someone blasting just to be mean. I really appreciate your advice. Thank you.
My child's bio father has agreed to sign over rights and there is no question that he is the bio father. He and I ended on bad terms. I want to do it legally. I don't want him to get in one of his moods where he wants to be daddy and then changes his mind. If that's understandable.

How do you go about finding an attorney?

[ScottGem]

I like blunt honesty. No problem there. I just didn't want someone blasting just to be mean. I really appreciate your advice. Thank you.
My childs bio father has agreed to sign over rights and there is no question that he is the bio father. He and I ended on bad terms. I want to do it legally. I don't want him to get in one of his moods where he wants to be daddy and then changes his mind. If that's understandable.

How do you go about finding an attorney?

You can try the yellow pages or check with your local Bar association.

If the bio father agrees to this, then it should go very smoothly and not be at all expensive.

As for being blasted, again, if you think a response violates our rules, please report it.