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worried sister · Jan 22, 2013, 07:22 PM

Can somebody help me? I need some advice. I just learned that one of my sisters is coming home with unexplained bruises and she keeps saying she walked into a door or a dumpster. Their father won't do anything because my sister won't admit to being abused. Their mother has a new guy and he has a history of drugs, and violence and sleeping with underaged girls and all the bruising started in the last 2 months of the mother dating this guy. I don't know what to do. My sisters hate their mom and their step mom but love their dad, and I know for a fact that I am the best one to care for them, but what do I do? I don't want to go to the police and have the abuse possibly get worse if they can't get them out, and if they do get them out how could I fight for custody and prove I am the best thing for them? But I also don't want to sit and do nothing and chance something horrible happening to one of them. After they were born I raised them for 5 years so they are MY kids, at least in my heart.
My mother has mentally/verbally abused them forever and so has their stepmom and their actual dad. Their now ex-stepdad is still in their life but he sexually abused me as a minor for 4 years.

cdad · Jan 22, 2013, 07:31 PM

What proof do you have of the accusations your tossing out there? Anything solid like police reports that you can use to back them up? If you have nothing solid and your sister won't admit to the abuse then there isn't going to be much that you can do. They won't take the children just based on your word alone.

teacherjenn4 · Jan 22, 2013, 07:33 PM

Are the bruises visible? No teacher will ignore them. A good teacher knows abuse isn't always physical and knows how to look for signs of emotional and verbal abuse.

dontknownuthin · Jan 22, 2013, 08:29 PM

If they are minors you can make a report to DCFS that you think they are being abused, but you need to really know what you're talking about to do this as it's quite serious. And it sounds like a boyfriend is abusing one of your sisters, not her parents, so not sure how that would impact their custody of the girls.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 22, 2013, 09:07 PM

You can do nothing till you prove it, Your sister will have to first admit to it, and tell you what is happening.

You will have to get police or family service or CPS ( what ever agency does this in your area) involved to do an investigation.

After it is proven, then you can do something.

Have you called the mom up and talked to her about it ?

worried sister · Jan 22, 2013, 11:19 PM

YES the bruises are visible but she keeps lying and the proof that I have is I have seen them and my mother (same as my sisters) has abused me my ENTIRE life. The police I nmy town don't do ANYTHING! Its horrible to just sit and watch. My mother has tried to drown me on many occasions, choked me, broke my nose, gave me 3 concussions, broke my ankle and sprained my shoulder, and I was never left alone to tell anyone so its hard to prove what she did to me, and now that I am out of the house and married I have no way to see my sisters (their step mom has texted me pics though). My mother even allowed my step father to sexually assault, rape and beat me for 4 years. There is the proof.

joypulv · Jan 23, 2013, 12:03 AM

How old is she? Can you invite her for a 3 day visit, so that you can have a heart to heart? That might be a way that you can get her to open up. Make her feel that you will do anything for her. You say the police are no help - what about her school nurse or guidance counselor?

ScottGem · Jan 23, 2013, 04:14 AM

The only thing you can do at this point is get children's services involved. It might be better if a teacher reports it rather than you. Once they are involved you can let them know you are willing to foster the child.

What will hopefully happen, is the child will be placed with you pending an investigation. During that time, the bruising will hopefully cease and it can be seen that it is the home life, not the child.

teacherjenn4 · Jan 23, 2013, 05:49 AM

Originally Posted by worried sister

YES the bruises are visible but she keeps lying and the proof that i have is i have seen them and my mother (same as my sisters) has abused me my ENTIRE life. the police i nmy town dont do ANYTHING! its horrible to just sit and watch. my mother has tried to drown me on many occasions, choked me, broke my nose, gave me 3 concussions, broke my ankle and sprained my shoulder, and i was never left alone to tell anyone so its hard to prove what she did to me, and now that i am out of the house and married i have no way to see my sisters (their step mom has texted me pics though). my mother even allowed my step father to sexually assault, rape and beat me for 4 years. there is the proof.

Teachers must report SUSPICION of child abuse. Strange excuses don't work in any town, small or large. Call the school immediately!