[LSX7]

All right so here is my scenario. So 11 months ago I met my girlfriend. We started talking and started hanging out more and more. We had gone to a party together and had a blast. But the one over-occurring problem in this world is the infamous ex... She still texts him and stuff. Once in a while I will catch her deleting certain calls in her call history and text messages. I have explained to her it bugs the **** out of me and I don't like it. She comes back with well I don't care if you talk to your ex-s. And I replied that I don't do it for the respect of our relationship and want to eliminate any possible problem that could occur from me talking to one of them.

The first excuse was I don't like being told what to do and I explained I know and I'm not trying to control you, it's just that when you text your ex almost every day, that just hurts my feelings and isn't going to get anything good out of it. But her most recent excuse is that she thinks he is psycho and will hurt her if she stops talking to him. Now, here's the catch, he is a psycho little , he tried pulling a knife on me and I just stared him in the face and told him to do it because as soon as he pulled it he started shaking so I knew nothing would happen. BUT, another thing he did was end up moving into the same closed gate apartment complex as her. So if she doesn't text him then she said she's scared that he will come hurt her. I honestly think that is a poor excuse considering the fact there is a lock on her door and the front door so honestly just think about it. But that's pretty much what I have to deal with, it's the biggest and only real problem I am having in this relationship and I just need some help or advice on what to say.

I have sat her down and talked to her. I have trust that she won't go hang out with him or anything and she tells me over and over that she is only texting but come on... deleting certain call histories in your phone? That makes me think. So all she really does is text him. But who knows she could be calling and hanging out behind my back for all I know! But I just need to know what to do, I've explained my feelings, haven't given the ultimatum because that's kind of f***ed up to do but I don't know.

If there is anything anyone can tell me I will gladly accept any advice. Thank you.

[Oliver2011]

First off why is ex carrying a knife? Why did you tell him to stab you? Don't do that. It will mess up your shirt and besides it will really hurt. :)

Trust is key. If you give an ultimatum be prepared for whatever consequences that may bring. She could decide to be with you or decide to not be with you.

Also a relationship is an investment. It sounds like you have totally invested into the relationship (not knowing otherwise) and she is only partly investing into it. If it were me, I would have to think about that for a little bit and decide whether I want to make a full investment into someone who is only half committed.

[Homegirl 50]

Sounds like a lot of drama to me. She talks to this guy because she wants to and obviously does not respect your feelings. You are caring more and are more involved than she is.
I'd leave her alone.

[LSX7]

He is one of those... tough guy Tuesday type of guys, he thinks he's god but he won't touvh me he's had chances to do things and he didn't, plus I know how to handle myself haha. But you know I do have the mentality for myself that she and I are both trustworthy and if she decides to break that circle of complete trust then why stay. But she hasn't physically seen him its juthe the texting thing and it buuuuuuuuugs me!

[Oliver2011]

He is one of those......tough guy tuesday type of guys, he thinks hes god but he wont touvh me hes had chances to do things and he didnt, plus i know how to handle myself haha. but you know i do have the mentality for myself that she and i are both trustworthy and if she decides to break that circle of complete trust then why stay. But she hasnt physically seen him its juthe the texting thing and it buuuuuuuuugs me!

It should bug you especially since you have expressed your thoughts on the matter. If my significant other didn't totally invest then I wouldn't have taken it to an exclusive relationship. And my significant other has to see all the others that I was dating all the time pretty much.

As Homegirl says - too much drama. I am anti-drama.

[LSX7]

It should bug you especially since you have expressed your thoughts on the matter. If my significant other didn't totally invest then I wouldn't have taken it to an exclusive relationship. And my significant other has to see all the others that I was dating all the time pretty much.

As Homegirl says - too much drama. I am anti-drama.

Yea I always try to avoid those type of things... life man... life..

[talaniman]

If she wanted to be rid of him from her life she would. Just something to think about while you put all the blame on just him. She ain't handling her business properly if she lives in fear, which I doubt.

Drop the tough guy stuff and pay closer attention to how sloppy this is. She doesn't share your same value about what's appropriate behavior with an ex, and THAT is the problem. What other values are different from yours? Small things add up quickly, but her ex is NOT your problem at all.