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    won1one's Avatar
    won1one Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 11, 2013, 08:19 PM
    Does the number of sexual partners matter?
    My fiancée has been having sex since he was 13 years old. He is 22 years old. He has had sex with a total of 33 girls including me. I have had sex with a total of 9 including him. We have been together for 2 years now, and he went to prison for 1 year before he met me. I was the first girl he has been with since he got out of prison and we have been together ever since.

    He doesn't realize that I think about this as much as I do, but it really bothers me... I know I can't control his past and everybody has one, but that's just a lot. Does it even matter? How do I get this out of my head?
    44loo's Avatar
    44loo Posts: 35, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Jan 12, 2013, 04:02 AM
    I think you have got to look at this from a different perspective. Sure your partner had had loads of conquests but you're the one he chose to stick with. If anything you should feel proud that you tamed the beast so to speak. Try to think of it along the lines of "your the one" hope this helps
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Jan 12, 2013, 04:39 AM
    It is your job as a rational, thinking adult to gauge each person in light of what you see in front of you in the present, as well as giving some attention to the past.
    You are asking total strangers here a question that only you can answer, because what matters is what he is like NOW, but being aware of the past. Surely you don't resent those 33 sexual encounters; what you need to be thinking about is whether you are just a 34th notch in the bedpost, or if he genuinely cares for and respects you. If he does, then the past doesn't matter. RIGHT?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 12, 2013, 07:32 AM
    I agree, I would be much more concerned about why he went to prison and if he changed from that, than the number of women.

    Of course he could wonder if he is just number 9 and when will you move on to 10.
    I mean while 33 is a lot, so is 9, at this point it is a matter of why and has those reasons ended
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,293, Reputation: 5645
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    #5

    Jan 12, 2013, 07:35 AM
    In my opinion, as a medical professional, the number of sexual partners matters as there is an increased risk of STDs. It is safe to say that you have sex with every person your partner ever had sex with thus increasing your risks of STDs such as HIV/AIDS.

    Considering his incarceration your risks are increased.
    won1one's Avatar
    won1one Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 12, 2013, 02:46 PM
    I am not concerned about his criminal past because I know everything and it was petty crimes if you ask me. We have been living together for a year and a half so obviously the women should be out of my head, but I'm having troubles getting it out. Even when we have sex I imagine him having sex with someone from the past. I can't explain it, but the first person is right I did win in a way because he did choose me. I wish I could think of it that way all the time. We decided to be honest with each other from the beginning and I just think there are some things the relationship doesn't have to know and I am starting to feel the number of past partners is one of them.

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    It is your job as a rational, thinking adult to gauge each person in light of what you see in front of you in the present, as well as giving some attention to the past.
    You are asking total strangers here a question that only you can answer, because what matters is what he is like NOW, but being aware of the past. Surely you don't resent those 33 sexual encounters; what you need to be thinking about is whether you are just a 34th notch in the bedpost, or if he genuinely cares for and respects you. If he does, then the past doesn't matter. RIGHT?
    You are right, this helped me. Thank you.

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