[whiteladybug2002]

Jesus helper... you said that all else should be tried before medicating and I agree. My son has been diagnosed by 5 health care professionals, 2 psychologist, 2 MDs, and a child therapist, over the past 3 years. We have tried all our alternatives to meds, such as: diets, chiropractors, vitamins, fish oil supplements, exercise routines, regular therapy sessions, schedules, homeschooling, private school, and even laser therapy. None worked! Trust me, medicine was a very last resort!

We just tried his 3rd med this week, Adderall, and it lasted 2 days before he had to stop taking it. He was having dizzy spells, nausea, and double vision... SCARY!! The doctor said stop immediately and we did. He has now tried stratera, concerta, and adderall with all negative results. I don't know what to do?

The school is threatening to kick him out, not from ADHD, but from his GPA, which is a requirement for his school. He is failing, but has a high IQ? We are at our wits end and are almost out of options.

His teacher at school is wonderful and is working with him and us to help, but there is only so much she can do. This is not a case of a teacher wanting her students to sit down and shut up, she really tries. For the past 3 years in school, we have constant contact and calls from his teachers and so far all have worked well with him. We have been lucky with that, but his teacher can not pass him if he doesn't make the grades!

I don't know what to do now, but please don't think that I am eager to jump at the opportunity to medicate my son. That I am not! Confused, tired, and pulling my hair out... now that I am!

[Kellief]

Well this sounds exactly like my story. My son is now 12, in 6th grade and makes all A's and 1 B in math. He was exactly like your son at that age. I struggled with the decision too. After trying several medications we found one that doesn't give him side effects, and keeps him focused the whole school day. It has really made a positive difference in our life. He has self confidence and we don't struggle with the blank stares anymore.

[dazednconfused21]

I am 21 years old, I was put on ritalin at the age of 6 and stayed on until I was 12 or 13. My opinion it does make you feel like a zombie. Also you should read up on the side effects. I read an article about a six year old boy who was on the meds for it, he fell off his bike and had a heart attack. I actually have a article from our newspaper that states that it can cause cardio-vascular problems. And last year I found out I have mitral vaulve regurgitation. (M.R) don't know if it is actually from that, BTU according to the article it very well could be. I hated it. I couldn't think for myself, it was like I was a zombie. For your sons sake I wouldn't do it.

[lacuran8626]

Good luck. Be aware that many of the greatest geniouses are thought to have had ADHD - Bell, Franklin, Jefferson, Einstein. There are many stories of people who did poorly in school and then excelled beyond measure in life - ADHD kids are super intelligent but don't do well (without meds and assistance) in the restrictive (read - prison) environment that school feels like to them.

What has helped me a lot is to make my home a gathering place for my son and his friends. I also do volunteer work that gives me some one-on-one time with other children in his grade - tutoring, math help and so on. This provides me, in addition to a chance to help at school, the added benefit of being able to observe other children my son's age, and to also see my son in the school setting. I've done it long enough that the novelty of me being there has worn off and he forgets I'm there, so I get a good idea of where he's at comparatively.

I also always ask teachers what I can expect my son to do in a given school year in terms of what will likely interest him, what new behaviors I might expect, what emotional developments she typically sees and so on. This has often been crucial in my own understanding of what is ADHD, and what is normal for my son's age.

Staying tuned in is what's important-to your son, your specialist, your school, and generally to the age he's at and the developmental milestones he's approaching.

[WeAreLost]

I'm sorry to say my 15 yr old daughter since 5th grade has not been doing her school work and like what you said when she does she gets mostly A's. My wife had a stroke and almost died which has greatly changed how she does school work. My wife was a school teacher sub, and I think either did all her work or did it with her or a combo. After the stroke and now she can't read write she's aphasic with sever short term memory and seizures. The point is now Ive been with her alone she's real bright she can remember songs she likes but gets an F weekly in 7th and 8th grade where she was then in private school smaller classes, every marking period they would haul me in and tell me she not doing her work. I finally realized that where I thought at private schoolthey could pressure her to get homework done. NO all they do differently now that she's in public school, is they call you to tell you to come in and now I'm supposed to get a progress report I say supposed to because she lies about everything concerning school.
I can't get a handle on this I have no power to make her do work. Ive grounded her for as much as 6 months in 6th or 7th and 8th She just says I don't care. Her sister graduates next week and is set for law school next year. I know there are problems when everyone talks highly of her sister but you just can't avoid that altogether. She goes into a mode and says OK its now you only have one daughter and Im a piece of . I can't understand how completely she turns things around and upside down to make her points. The thing is everything she doesn't do now she will regret later when her friends first go away to college and then the openings for jobs for someone who hasn't practiced getting things organized just for school the next day because that's what school is they are preparing kids to function outside the home like they need to. I know Ive got to plan on nothing but problems with her and I don't mean I I've given up on her. Look she's got her mother who for purpose is 80 to 90% gone in her eyes it's a big deal for me to get her to see her , she lives in an ALF. And her sister so she's looking for things so she doesn't have to function with anything but what she wants. Also what made my wife have a stroke was an anyuserm which runs in my wife family and this was her second bleed, My daughter knows that could be her ! This week and several times before she has a headache 4 hours at Miami Children's yesterday. There's no end an I don't believe she had a headache she played that for the whole week went to school one day.
My advise to you is you see how screwed we are so do better, if its organic that's different, but if your son starts to play you try to nib it in the bud, I didn't I wish I did.
Hope this gives you an idea how this transforms into one thing and if its not good it gets worse so try to put a better foot forward.

[lacuran8626]

Hey, we are lost - you know, your daughter sounds like a bright girl who is grieving, and scared. Maybe she's intentionally (without even realizing she's doing it - this runs deeper) creating distance between herself and the family because she feels she's going to loose you anyway. This is not an unusual reaction to grief and fear - it's the, I'll hurt you before you hurt me by dying (or leaving or choosing my sister over me, or rejecting me or whatever).

I think some family counseling to work on the changes and fears and stresses you've been through would be good. And a meeting -private - between your wife's doctor and your daughter so she can ask questions without worrying about upsetting anyone in the family. And some counseling on her own to figure out how to move forward and have a joyful life without feeling like enjoying herself or being successsful or just living would be a betrayal to her mother. She might feel like since her mom can't truly live, she shouldn't either.

Get her some help - this doesn' sound like it's even about school work. School work is something children can do and do well and consistently when their other needs are met - she is screaming for help from what you have described.

[krittengirl]

I have 4 children. The oldest has ADHD and is on Concerta the next has ADD and is on Adderall and the 2 younger ones do not exhibit signs of any problem. I also have ADD but was not diagnosed until I was an adult, and therefore was not on any meds growing up, but I can see how they would have helped me greatly. Neither of my kids are like zombies. Newer meds are much better, they are timed released to not overmedicate. Your doctor will probably have your child begin on the lowest dose of one of the meds, and it may take a few meds to find the right one, and then the right dose. If your child truly does have add or adhd you will see an amazing change, and depending on the severity, you may be able to take brief med breaks. My 10 year old is more hyperactive and this has calmed her just enough that she can stop and think before acting. My 8 year old went up 2 reading levels in a week after beginning this and now loves school. Once they are on the meds and can think clearly you can work with them to help them learn different techniques they can use to focus. My oldest now can calm herself when she feels hyper by going to a quiet place and reading. She knows how to recognize when she needs to do this, and can self monitor. This does not mean that she does not need meds, but she is probably on a much lower dose than she would be if she hadn't learned to monitor her behavior.
Also, make sure you have a doctor (preferably a pediatrician) who treats this often, and keep using the same specific doctor for each med check. If the financial costs are difficult for you, look into medicaid for your state. In Pennsylvania this is considered a disability and my 2 children qualify for medical assistance through their 18th birthday. The meds for this can be expensive. The prescriptions alone for my 2 children would be well over $300.00/month without this aid plus the cost of med check appointments every few months. Finances should never be a reason not to treat this, and for many people it is.

[krittengirl]

I wanted to add to my last post that I have decided to homeschool my children and feel they are doing so much better because of it. If it is an option for you, consider it. It is not nearly as difficult as it sounds, and allows your son to work with many breaks, and in an environment that is not so busy. You can within guidelines decide what is important for him to learn and what is periphial. For instance in history I think that it is important that my girls know that the mayflower arrived in 1620, Columbus came in 1492, and we became a nation in 1776, but I do not find it important for them to know the date when descartes or vasco degama arrived. These are highly intellegent children who can go far. Don't let their minds be dragged down with "information overload" Let them soar where their natural interests take them. For my 10 year old that area is science, so we tailor her reading, language, penmanship, and spelling towards that area. Don't give up, you will eventually work.

[whiteladybug2002]

Thank you for you tips, krittengirl.

I have tried homeschooling my son on two different occasions and it didn't go well. I took him out of school last year and tried for two months. He was very eager to get back to school and when we did return he did well. Over the summer we moved to a different school district and I started him in the local public school. After one week, I took my son out and homeschooled him until January. One problem I had was that in the Fall I was also attending a local community college and I took my son to school with me. He sit still and listened in my classes, biology and chemistry. You never would have known he had ADHD. My professors loved him and didn't mind him sitting in the class, because he was no distraction. I know that wasn't the ideal setting for a little boy, but I had no choice.

I put him in a local private school in January, because I was transferring to a university in the spring. I am a premed major. I could not take him to class there with me and he needed something more structured then I could provide at home. I decided to wait to go to school myself and make sure he adapts in his school. Shortly after he started school, the calls from the teacher started pouring in! I am glad I waited to start school for me, because I have had this problem in the past with having to leave class and so on.

Trust me I have tried it all. I am afraid I may be a little ADD myself, because I can't stick to a schedule. I thought homeschool was the best choice too, but it wasn't for me.

I have another post I would like for you to read... Finger in butt... This is also about me son. Please read!

Thank you all again!