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    KKW1975's Avatar
    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 7, 2013, 09:04 AM
    5 year old out of control
    My 5 year old. Has horrible behavior toward all women. He is very disrespectful and very inappropriate with his kissing of me. He rubs his private areas on me on younger girls he plays with tries to kiss them and tries to rub their private areas. He he is abusive toward animals and some times physically violent toward me. He has in the last month started wetting the bed again. He has tried to stab me with a screwdriver and this behavior is worse after spending time with his father and his fathers family. I'm taking him to a counselor and his father became furious when he found that out. He doesn't eat well and after extended visits with his father he comes back very skinny and violent. He yells at me does not listen and at times he scares me. What can I do?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Jan 7, 2013, 09:18 AM
    YOU are the parent. What have you tried so far?
    KKW1975's Avatar
    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 7, 2013, 09:24 AM
    I have tried taking away privileges, he doesn't care. I've tried time outs and he just screams, tried spanking and he tells his father and step mother I beat him. He says they are nice and I'm mean. He doesn't listen to a thing I say and says he's a man and will do what he wants
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #4

    Jan 7, 2013, 09:49 AM
    When did this begin? It couldn't have just started just now.
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 7, 2013, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    When did this begin? It couldn't have just started just now.
    It started over the summer
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jan 7, 2013, 01:09 PM
    You are already doing the right things with getting him counseling and evaluated.
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 7, 2013, 01:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You are already doing the right things with getting him counseling and evaluated.
    His father told him not to talk to his therapist
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Jan 7, 2013, 01:21 PM
    Is there some way to get his father on the same page? Once counseling has begun (or when you are there), ask if your son's father (and even the father's family) can be included in some of the sessions. It's not good that your son can play you against his dad and the dad's family.
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    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #9

    Jan 7, 2013, 01:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    It started over the summer
    How is his behavior at school?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    His father told him not to talk to his therapist
    You will need to document everything as it seems the both of you have different agendas and parenting styles. You may also need legal counsel to guide you through this process of getting the right help as it seems the dad may be blamed for contributing to this behavor. Yes the court can order an evaluation if need be, and his visitation rights can be altered, or even restricted.

    If others have witnesssed this behavior, that would interest both the courts and the counselors. I see little choice but to have the courts involved to be honest.
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is there some way to get his father on the same page? Once counseling has begun (or when you are there), ask if your son's father (and even the father's family) can be included in. some of the sessions. It's not good. that your son can play you against his. dad and the dad's family.
    his father doesn't want him going at all
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    How is his behavior at school?
    he just turned 5 so he is not in school yet, but he is awful to other children. He is inappropriate with girls sexually and he bullies them. He hit a friend of mines little girl with a stick last weekend because he wouldn't kiss her. And he won't play with boys
    If girls are around. He has a cousin at his fathers that he urinated on then in his grandmothers floor
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    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #13

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    he just turned 5 so he is not in school yet, but he is awful to other children. He is inappropriate with girls sexually and he bullies them. He hit a friend of mines little girl with a stick last weekend because he wouldn't kiss her. And he won't play with boys
    If girls are around. He has a cousin at his fathers that he urinated on then in his grandmothers floor
    Why isn't he in preschool?
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Why isn't he in preschool?
    Where I live the public schools offer preschool to income limited families and I make too much and not enough to afford 160 a week for a private school
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    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #15

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    Where I live the public schools offer preschool to income limited families and I make too much and not enough to afford 160 a week for a private school
    That's too bad. I would love to know what his behavior is like for a teacher. The good thing, he starts school next year and behavior like this won't be tolerated. Are you in the U.S.
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    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    That's too bad. I would love to know what his behavior is like for a teacher. The good thing, he starts school next year and behavior like this won't be tolerated. Are you in the U.S.?
    yes I am in the U.S
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    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #17

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    yes I am in the U.S
    You may be able to get him in preschool. Ask the therapist for a referral. If you are near a big city, children with behavioral issues are tested at a regional center after referral from a psychologist, therapist, or school counselor. These preschools may be run by a school district in your area, or a Head Start center.
    KKW1975's Avatar
    KKW1975 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:46 PM
    [QUOTE=teacherjenn4;3363731]
    Quote Originally Posted by KKW1975 View Post
    You may be able to get him in preschool. Ask the therapist for a referral. If you are near a big city, children with behavioral issues are. tested at a regional center after. referral from a psychologist, therapist, l or school counselor. These. preschools may be run by a school. district in your area, or a Head Start. center.
    OK thank you very much
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    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #19

    Jan 7, 2013, 02:57 PM
    [QUOTE=KKW1975;3363734]
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    ok thank you very much
    The father may not protest preschool, and he would receive behavioral help while he attends.
    Thirdtime's Avatar
    Thirdtime Posts: 73, Reputation: 5
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    #20

    Jan 11, 2013, 09:00 PM
    That's 1 kind of a 5 yr old who needs a kick on the bum! Have you reported this or worked with the Department of Social and Welfare for kids on this behaviour changes?
    It looks like the father is teaching him all this awkward manners and may invite the courts to review the child's custodial Court Order.

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