[ProudMommy2_Be]

I'm 14 and my boyfriend is a bit older. I just started high school a few months ago and so far it's quite all right. My mom passed away when I was younger and my dad is in prison. I always feel lonely and I always have thoughts of being a mother. I think like this because if I have a child I’ll have someone I can call my own and I know will never leave me no matter what. Plenty of people have told me it's hard and a lot and work. But I also want to be the best mother I can be and make sure my child never has to want for anything because I’ll be able to support him/her without anyone's help.

[dontknownuthin]

It's normal and it's a good goal to be a mother, when you are ready. You will not be ready for a long time though, so if your goal is to be a mother, focus on doing the things now that will prepare you to be the best mom you can be later. The kind of mother you dream of being is the kind of mom you can be when you wait until you have your education, are married to a man you love, are an adult and are able to support yourself comfortably. When you have a home, a car, a good relationship with your husband and all those things, then you can have a baby and it can be a wonderful thing.

If you have a baby as a teenager you will almost guarantee that you cannot provide your child what you have in mind. Your boyfriend will not stick around - they almost never do. It's not for lack of care for the girlfriend but because they simply are not ready to be dads. It will be hard to finish school, almost impossible to work and you will likely find you will have to have someone more settled raise your child because you won't be able to.

I think you are lonely because your parents are absent, and you want a family. That's a really, really good goal. But you don't have to have a baby to stop feeling lonely. Go to your school counselor, or whomever is raising you for some help and advice. Lean on your friends, plan fun things, get involved and you will find that as you find your social group in high school, you will feel less alone in time.

You've had a really tough situation and I'm so sorry for it. Just don't make it worse by creating a lonely life for a baby who's born into terrible circumstances like an absent dad and a teenage mom with no financial means. Wait until you are that successful, married, mature woman with a loving husband and can really enjoy being a mom and make the most of it, creating the family you should have had growing up.

[Fr_Chuck]

This is a great goal and when you are 20 or so, it may be a great time to consider becoming a mother. For now work on making yourself better and ready to be one.

Next of course a child will leave you, they grow up, they turn into pre=teens who seldom talk to you and often don't even want to be seen with you. They turn into teens who think everything you say is wrong.

A good parent is not a friend, they are a parent