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Lovelyyy_ · Dec 31, 2012, 02:27 PM

So I've been talking to this guy online for about three and a half years. There's almost a four year age difference, I've been feeling really bad lately about not telling him. I'm afraid he won't understand why I did it, I did it because at the time I wanted him to like me, it worked because we both love each other now... but it still scares me to tell him because I don't want to lose him.

Curlyben · Dec 31, 2012, 02:29 PM

Online isn't real life, so tell whatever stories you like..
As long as you are an adult anything goes.

tkrussell · Dec 31, 2012, 02:35 PM

Consider what untruths he told you, also.

teacherjenn4 · Dec 31, 2012, 02:38 PM

How old are each of you?

Lovelyyy_ · Dec 31, 2012, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

How old are each of you?

Eighteen and twenty-two.

Lovelyyy_ · Dec 31, 2012, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

How old are each of you?

And also, he thinks I am one year older than I actually am.

teacherjenn4 · Dec 31, 2012, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by Lovelyyy_

And also, he thinks I am one year older than I actually am.

So, do you plan on meeting him?

Lovelyyy_ · Dec 31, 2012, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

So, do you plan on meeting him?

Yes, we actually talk about getting married and having kids all the time. Next year I'm probably going to fly out there, that is if he still wants me after I've lied to him...

teacherjenn4 · Dec 31, 2012, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Lovelyyy_

Yes, we actually talk about getting married and having kids all the time. Next year I'm probably going to fly out there, that is if he still wants me after I've lied to him...

Better to tell him now. That way you can work things out before you make any more plans. Why did you lie about your age?

Lovelyyy_ · Dec 31, 2012, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Better to tell him now. That way you can work things out before you make any more plans. Why did you lie about your age?

I did because at the time I was younger we've been friends ever since I was 16 and he was 20, but its just become more serious. So I said I was 17 when I was 16, but as I find myself getting older the age difference seems to not really be a bad thing. And he still thinks I'm one year older. As I talk about it, it doesn't seem that bad. But I feel it is and don't know how to tell him.

teacherjenn4 · Dec 31, 2012, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Lovelyyy_

I did because at the time I was younger we've been friends ever since I was 16 and he was 20, but its just become more serious. So I said I was 17 when I was 16, but as I find myself getting older the age difference seems to not really be a bad thing. And he still thinks I'm one year older. As I talk about it, it doesn't seem that bad. But I feel it is and don't know how to tell him.

You're going to have to be honest. Tell him why you did it. If he can't forgive you, then it's better to know now.

ScottGem · Dec 31, 2012, 04:25 PM

Saying you are one year older, especially for an online relationship, is not a big deal. But the longer you wait to tell him, the worse it will get.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 1, 2013, 03:07 AM

Yes, if you had lied about being 5 or 10 years older, then it would be a major issue.

A one year lie, while a lie, and there was no sex invovled to cause him to commit a criminal act. Is not a big deal. Most likely he at the beginning also lied about some things also.

Guys call it stretching the truth to make them sound better. Some of it, may not even be remembered.

Does your age get discussed all the time ?

You just tell him, and most likely it will be laughed off, but will you be accepting when you find out he lied about little things also ?