[Rach264]

I can't stop thinking about this, I need advice!

I've never believed at love at first sight or anything like that until today. I'm 16 and I was at my favorite store and this smoking HOT guy around my age maybe a little older was working there. He was perfect. Exactly fits the description of my dream guy. The way he talks looks dresses everything. For some reason I was nervous to approach him and hand him the clothes I didn't want but I did anyway. And just when I was handing him the clothes he just stared straight into my eyes smiling. I can't exactly describe it. But I felt tingly feelings all over and that doesn't happen often. He didn't say anything. Just gave me a flirtatious smile and all I could do was smile back. I could barely function. Literally best moment ever.

I can't describe the connection I felt when he was staring at me. And now I can't stop thinking about him. Who is he? Will I ever see him again? I want to go back to the store so I could put all this guessing aside but I don't know if I should even try. Should I just move on and try to forget about this? This is really messing with my head. Opinions would be much appreciated

[Fr_Chuck]

Hormones and lust at first sight,
Love is something that grows after you are in a relationship, over time.

[Cat1864]

Rach, over a lifetime, you will have many of those moments. You are very young and just learning how to distinguish attraction (lust) from emotion (love.) Look at your definition of your 'dream guy' and see how it needs to expand beyond physical characteristics.

Think about it this way, you say he is your 'dream guy' based on his looks and voice. Those are physical attributes that can change. They are also not his personality or who he is on the inside. Attraction, as Chuck said, is primarily based on hormones. Hormones are the driving force in reproduction. They don't care about other factors which go into starting a relationship or building an emotional attachment.

Take a moment to think about your 'dream guy'. Not just looks but personality and how he would behave with you. Would he like football? Would he encourage you in your studies? Would he laugh at silly jokes and hold your hand when you are down? Would he spend time with his friends and not get upset when you spend time with yours? These things and many others make a whole person and relationship.

Your store clerk is little more than a character in a movie or book. He is a fantasy based on one hormonal surge of sexual attraction. Don't seek him out looking for a 'love at first sight' grand attraction because you wouldn't be wanting the real person. You would be expecting him to be the creature you created in your own mind instead of the person he really is. He probably is a great person, but he may be 25 years old and married.

Enjoy the fantasy, but remember that it is fantasy and not reality.

[talaniman]

Love at first sight?? Naw more than likely its intense instant attraction, and while it blows your mind, its seldom a good idea to act on those animal feelings until you have gotten over all the tingles. Expect more of this as you keep living, learning, and get older.

[Rach264]

Thanks so much every one this was exactly what I needed to hear. Very true, I don't know him at all. It was definitely just lust and hormones that need some controlling haha

[fredg]

I am 70 yrs old, married 7 yrs the first time, divorced, met another lady, then married for 30 yrs, before she passed away. I have never experienced "love at first sight". As another said, love takes time, getting to know someone. I really don't believe in love at first sight.