[Pianomanalso]

Not so much a question, but for support.
7 years ago I got off meth after using for 14 years. Went to rehab and psychotherapy and managed. Lost my family, my job and ended up on the streets? Was feeling great until about 4 months back when I started again. I have a new family and another kid... That makes 4 in total, youngest is 2 years. I used daily and my wife is freaking. As of today I've not had in 2days. Craving I am. My head feels woozy and almost trance like my head swishes. Not cool.

[joypulv]

OK, keep writing, keep talking. Walk around, go outside, drink plenty of watered down juice or weak tea and nibble on something, breathe deeply, put on some gentle music, and keep talking. Tell us what got you started again, 4 months ago. There are hundreds, thousands, of people here to listen.

[Pianomanalso]

My wife went out on a tangent around that time. Found her in a field calling my name about 30km away from our home after an Indian fellow called me from his mobile to come fetch her. She left me after we attended a play in our town. Complimentary drinks and then just went AWOL at a mall. Decided stupidly to indulge and its been a downward spiral from there on out. In South Africa I don't think we have the support with regards to Xannax or alternatives to calm one. It is also very expensive to go to rehab and as I run a small business, it isn't viable to take leave to go to rehab.
Practical help, I.e... Alternatives to easing my "spaced-out" episodes?
Have not had any for a few days now... Did smoke a joint and that helped to calm me down a lot.
Don't want to substitute one illegal substance for another, so the dope is a very temporary fix.
Obviously I want to be back where I was 4months ago. Sober and free of any substances.
I have little support from my wife as she can't understand this dilemma and I think it's all too overwhelming for her.
I suppose her disappearing for the evening a while ago, coupled with the hectic work load I have before the Xmas holidays started my spiral. Work load sorted as it would be, but now I'm left with this infuriating craving.
Thanks for any comments as I think this is what I need... To vent and work through this with people that relate and have practical solutions.
I am on my way to recovery, I know this... As I will NOT be at the losing end of this minor setback. That's what it is. A minor setback.
Thanks for listening!!