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Cookie Jar · Dec 22, 2012, 03:28 AM

So I'm 16 and a girl and there's a guy I'm friends with. He really likes me though but I don't like him the same way. I just realized I've been leading him on by flirting when I didn't really mean it :(

So now I'm trying not to lead him on any more. Anyway the question is if I answer his texts what message will that give him? I really want to respond, but I don't know if I should. I really don't want to just ignore him completely.

emersonkelly · Dec 22, 2012, 03:45 AM

You don't want to ignore him or want to love him. I think you want to be just a friend for him. Right? If yes, please tell him directly that want to to be a friend.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 22, 2012, 04:46 AM

You may answer, but be clear of the relationship, don't flirt in message, and if he does, ask him not to, tell him you are glad to be his friend but nothing more

Cookie Jar · Dec 22, 2012, 05:24 AM

Basically, I like texting guys cause I like to be friends with them and I like chatting and being friendly. However, they seem to take it like I want a relationship! How can I text Guy's who like me without leading them on? Is it possible?

veigadis · Dec 22, 2012, 06:48 AM

That is very hard, but I think that you should say to them that you only want to be friends and then see how he takes it :)

soccerlover9121 · Dec 23, 2012, 02:26 PM

Just because you don't want to go out with him doesn't mean you should risk your friendship with him! If I were you then yeah, I'd keep texting him, but in a friendly way and maybe try to set him up with someone who does like him... but if things get too out of hand then I would tell him that you don't like him but see where things go!

talaniman · Dec 23, 2012, 08:24 PM

A little straight honesty goes a long ways.

dontknownuthin · Dec 23, 2012, 09:23 PM

Would you believe that I'm 48 years old and I have the same problem! I never thought this would be an issue at my age. Fortunately I have the experience to know that the kindest thing to do is to just find an opportunity to make yourself clear. For example, say, "We've been texting and talking a lot and I just realized that I might be sending mixed messages. I hope it's not too awkward for me to tell you that I want to be friends with you but don't want to date. Not that you asked, of course. This is so awkward, but I feel so close with you as a friend and I kind of figured that since I'm a girl and you're a guy, we should be clear so neither of us get hurt."

Be sure to be really clear. In my case, I have some professional knowledge that I knew would benefit a friend who's in the middle of a terribly difficult divorce so have been helping him. I figured out that he was taking my help as an indication that I was interested in dating him, so I brought it up. I made the mistake though, of telling him, "I've had the sense you're interested in more than a friendship and I need to let you know where I stand. You're a married man as far as I'm concerned, so I'm not even considering a dating relationship between us. Not that you asked, but I wanted to be clear because I enjoy our friendship but don't want any misunderstandings to come between us." Well, dumb move on my part because now his divorce is final, and he thinks that we're good to go! I still don't want to date him. I shouldn't have used an excuse and should have just said the first time, "I don't see us in a dating relationship but I love being friends with you." Now I have to address this a second time. Moral of the story - be smarter than me and be clear the first time.