[HellHound82]

Hello again people, as I have verry little understanding of the female mind, I find myself in need of input yet again.

I have found a new girl that I am interested in and she tells me that she wants to be with me but that she does not want a relationship until she gets out of basic training (she is joining army reserves) but she hides any interest from everyone else. This may be due to the fact I have dated her older sister, but she says that is not a problem. And recently I told her that I would wait for her to get out of basic training. And she told me she didn't want to feel like anyone was tied down because of her. I have been told by a friend that she always seems excited to see me. I guess my question is, is this worth pursuing or could she just not want to hurt my feelings by saying no?

[joypulv]

My goodness! Let's start at the beginning: your understanding of the female mind. It really isn't that different from the male mind! You have to think about other people with the realization that they are really just like you. You also have to develop a sense of what deserves trust and what is too new for trust.
This woman is glad to see you, you hear. YOU don't notice that she is glad to see you?? If you don't notice something going on right under your nose, then you are too wrapped up in yourself. Stop thinking about what people think about you, and stop trying to 'be' someone. Start just being a nice person, interested in them.
Next, liking and being liked is a process. You like her. She likes you. She's going to be gone quite a while, and very considerately tells you that that could mean anything could happen. So if you play it casual, or if you shower her with exuberant and inventive ways to be with her before she goes, whatever you do will also have an effect on how she thinks about you while she's gone.
Do you get it? It's a process, give and take, act and respond, feel and feel back. Stop this 'what women want, what women think' mindset.

[fredg]

She is going to be away for awhile, and doesn't want to start any relationship right now. It's that simple.
Will she want to see you when she gets back? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, why not meet some other people? A good relationship must have trust, caring, respect, and being able to talk about anything and everything. She has said she doesn't want a relationship right now. So, take it as that, and look around while she is away. Maybe she might want to see you when she gets back. Good luck.

[HellHound82]

With the way I have been treated in the past trust is a hard thing for me to give, I mean I do trust her I just have doubts that I should some times. The few things that have beenpointed out to me about her being glad to see me are things I have not noticed, its things like my friend told me that she got excited when he told her that I was coming over. I was not on the phone with them to know. Its what I do see that worries me. Like her telling me I should find someone else until she is out of basic and can make a decision.

[HellHound82]

So basically keep trying but until then look for other people?

[Homegirl 50]

I can't get past the fact that you dated her older sister and now you're looking at her. Cool your jets.
She is going to be gone for a while.She may or may not like you, don't spend your time like she does.

[ArmstrongMiller]

Have a try, and then you will have answers.

[joypulv]

My consternation here is based on reading your past posts. You seem to be constantly wondering what a woman is thinking or going to do, and asking total strangers what it means, rather than realizing that you are half the interaction. You sound passive; someone who reacts rather than acts as much as he reacts.
Trust is not meaningful when you don't know someone very, very well. Until then, you use your judgment and proceed with caution, but not so much caution that you lose the object of your affection. In other words, you will lose sometimes by taking risks with your heart, and take some risks you must, or you will never win anyone's heart.