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SuperToiletDelu · Dec 11, 2012, 08:22 PM

Hello, I'm a 23 year old virgin. I was a pretty popular guy in high school, played 6 A football and wrestled. I was part of the "cool" crowd, which was a large mix of people. I am in decent shape and make friends really easy. I was the quite tough guy with a kind face, one girl told me she did not expect me to be kind hearted and nice.

I wonder if I'm weird?

cdad · Dec 11, 2012, 08:26 PM

Why would you be weird? You are an individual. Sex shouldn't be a trophy. It shows you have had some brains. Go take a look at the law boards here and how many unwed fathers there are having to fight for their children or child support.

You are who you are. Don't worry or stress about it.

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 11, 2012, 08:32 PM

I was the guy outside of class who would make everyone laugh at my corny jokes, and at my expense. Girls would always come to me with their problems because they knew I would listen without hitting on them, some would call me "dad". I always wanted to find the right girl that I could be friends, love, and be comfortable with. Its not a religious thing, just something from the heart. I'm not waiting for marriage, just for the person. Everyone I know has done away with their virginity, and feeling pressured, if there isn't a tomorrow what I might miss.

All through high school and till this day I have not had a girlfriend, not sure if any girls have been interested in me, horrible with signs unless they are directed to someone else. There is this girl that I'm friends with at work, not sure if she likes me, but I have strong feelings for her for obvious reason. She is kind, beautiful, funny and smart and I feel comfertable yet nervous around her. Is it weird that I'm waiting on the right girl?

cdad · Dec 12, 2012, 04:52 AM

Nope. Not weird at all. And as far as the one at work goes just ask her.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 12, 2012, 05:05 AM

Do you date? While waiting for the right girl, date many to help discover that right one.

So one at work, have you asked her for coffee or a dinner?

Oliver2011 · Dec 12, 2012, 06:52 AM

Putting pressure on yourself just so you can say you have done it isn't going to help the matter. Let it happen naturally. You will be fine. There is no law that says you have to have sex by the time you're 20 or else.

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 12, 2012, 04:16 PM

Well... I haven't "Dated" since the 8th grade, but its hard to consider it dateing. Im in no rush mentaly to lose my virginity, I had a chance to in when I was 15 a couple times, but she did not like me for my and there wasn't anything there. She pretty much wanted me as her plaything, I refused and that was the end of it. As for the girl at work, I've known for a year and a half and just kind of fell for her. We talk but Im so nervous yet relaxed. Since she is a friend, Im not sure how to approach her and tell her, w/out making things weird. I want to break the touch barrier to she if she is comfortable, but don't know how to approach that either. Im not sure if she likes, but once I was working and she when down the warehouse isle I was on and just started to talking to me. She will flip the hood on my coat, when she sees me she says my name excitedly. And when I do something for her she will make a heart shape with her fingers and say "love you" or "your the best" but Im not sure if she is just being friendly and when Im by myself in the lunch room she will set right next to me. I don't know if she does that to anyone else or just me, if she does I haven't seen her do it. I was woundering for a while if she was single but wasn't sure, then one day she came to set next to me in a completely empty lunchroom her friend asked her about her boy friend, and it seemed its been a while since they broke up. Any Ideas?

Oliver2011 · Dec 13, 2012, 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by SuperToiletDelu

Well...I havent "Dated" since the 8th grade, but its hard to consider it dateing. Im in no rush mentaly to lose my virginity, I had a chance to in when I was 15 a couple times, but she did not like me for my and there wasnt anything there. She pretty much wanted me as her plaything, I refused and that was the end of it. As for the girl at work, I've known for a year and a half and just kinda fell for her. We talk but Im so nervous yet relaxed. Since she is a friend, Im not sure how to approach her and tell her, w/out makeing things weird. I wana break the touch barrier to she if she is comfortable, but dont know how to approach that either. Im not sure if she likes, but once I was working and she when down the warehouse isle I was on and just started to talking to me. She will flip the hood on my coat, when she sees me she says my name excitedly. And when I do something for her she will make a heart shape with her fingers and say "love you" or "your the best" but Im not sure if she is just being friendly and when Im by myself in the lunch room she will set right next to me. I dont know if she does that to anyone else or just me, if she does I havent seen her do it. I was woundering for a while if she was single but wasnt sure, then one day she came to set next to me in a completely empty lunchroom her friend asked her about her boy friend, and it seemed its been a while since they broke up. Any Ideas?

Yes - talk to her. If you think this is someone you want to be with then communicate. But don't approach this as if you are going to no longer be a virgin. Let stuff happen naturally and you will be fine. Ask her out if that is what you want. But if you do this take the pressure off you. Just go to a movie or some place fun as friends until you see where this might go.

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 13, 2012, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Yes - talk to her. If you think this is someone you want to be with then communicate. But don't approach this as if you are going to no longer be a virgin. Let stuff happen naturally and you will be fine. Ask her out if that is what you want. But if you do this take the pressure off of you. Just go to a movie or some place fun as friends until you see where this might go.

Im not thinking about sex, when I talk with her, so my virginity is not on my mind only her. Finding the appropriate time, place, and words is currently my problem. I' ve liked and had crushes before that I did nothing and regreted not trying, but this is different I feel like I never have around her, so I don't want to regret this. I've got to ask her!. just... hard, shouldn't be, but is.

Oliver2011 · Dec 13, 2012, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by SuperToiletDelu

Im not thinking about sex, when I talk with her, so my virginity is not on my mind only her. Finding the appropriate time, place, and words is currently my problem. I' ve liked and had crushes before that I did nothing and regreted not trying, but this is different I feel like I never have around her, so I dont want to regret this. I've gotta ask her!....just....hard, shouldnt be, but is.

Well you have a choice. Ask her out and get to know her. Or don't and continue living the life you have now. It sounds like you don't want to do this, but if you decide that talking to her is too hard, deciding to continue the life you have now will be your choice.

Here's the thing: The first time you talk to her is only hard for the first few words. Then it won't be hard. The first time you go on a date it's only hard at the very beginning. You will probably find out that you were missing a good time all this time. Even if the date went badly you could still be proud of yourself that you did something different and new. And that will build yourself confidence.

Good luck!

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 13, 2012, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Well you have a choice. Ask her out and get to know her. Or don't and continue living the life you have now. It sounds like you don't want to do this, but if you decide that talking to her is too hard, deciding to continue the life you have now will be your choice.

Here's the thing: The first time you talk to her is only hard for the first few words. Then it won't be hard. The first time you go on a date it's only hard at the very beginning. You will probably find out that you were missing a good time all this time. Even if the date went badly you could still be proud of yourself that you did something different and new. And that will build your self confidence.

Good luck!!

Thank you that helps! Now, from the things I've said of how she treats me, does it seem like she likes me more then a friend? Also today as I was walking out of work she was on her way in, didn't see her at first until she said hi, I kept peering back and saw her looking back multipul times from the glass enrance. I kind of giggled and smiled, any ideas?

Wondergirl · Dec 13, 2012, 06:17 PM

Ask her out!! It sounds like she's just waiting for this.

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 13, 2012, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Ask her out!!!!! It sounds like she's just waiting for this.

:) OK

Wondergirl · Dec 13, 2012, 06:32 PM

Of course, you will have to keep us informed. :D

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 13, 2012, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Of course, you will have to keep us informed. :D

Will do

Wondergirl · Dec 13, 2012, 06:58 PM

Yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 14, 2012, 04:38 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!!!

I was thinking about taking her by both hands and pulling her to the side, should I tell her how I feel? Or just simply ask her for coffee, there is a Starbucks inside so that can be our 1st date.

joypulv · Dec 14, 2012, 05:14 AM

No, don't tell her how you feel, not yet. SHOW her how you feel, the way you have been doing, with smiles and looking back and little expressions. It isn't a leap into new territory so much as it is a slow walk. Starbucks sounds good, but you could also bring her a little something you made yourself, like a drawing or a flower you picked or a cookie you baked or a short poem.

SuperToiletDelu · Dec 14, 2012, 05:17 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

No, don't tell her how you feel, not yet. SHOW her how you feel, the way you have been doing, with smiles and looking back and little expressions. It isn't a leap into new territory so much as it is a slow walk. Starbucks sounds good, but you could also bring her a little something you made yourself, like a drawing or a flower you picked or a cookie you baked or a short poem.

Sounds good, thanks.

Oliver2011 · Dec 14, 2012, 06:56 AM

Originally Posted by SuperToiletDelu

sounds good, thanks.

I totally agree with joypulv. Don't rush things, don't put pressure on yourself, and also I think even though you might not feel confident, show her some confidence.

Remember, let the relationship happen naturally. You don't need to talk about what you are going to get each other for your 50th wedding anniversary on your first date. Just be yourself and have a good time.

Also remember everyone is nervous at first. I am dating someone right now who I never would have thought would have given me a second, let alone give me their heart. So I was very nervous. But it gets easier as you get to know the person.

And heck yes you need to report back to us.