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    alice26's Avatar
    alice26 Posts: 41, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Dec 10, 2012, 09:34 AM
    Family problems
    I am the oldest sister of 6 ,I have 2 brothers that we don't speak too anymore,one is on drugs homless in the street ,my family regects him now,the other one too busy parting also no time for us.. 3 Lil sisters left living with my mom& dad &they can't never stay in a steady home because we have an alcoholic dad that would rather spend $ on beer than rent, my mom doesn't work ,she's not a us citi&had a bad car accident that made her slow, at the moment all staying in 1 bedroom at aunts house wich she's tierd of it also, I fell I have to do sumeting about it ,I can't be happy knowing they live this way , I wish I can take all girls from them but I can't ,I'm having a baby of my own I can only bring one with me but they are refusing, she's 16 , she's not listening to them anymore so last night I tried to talk to them to have her come here &go to school over here but they are being stupid ,not letting me, iknow I can do a better job raising them.. I don't want to see her 16& pregnant,she alreDy told me her grades went down.. idk what to do ,worried so much for my sisters , I have bad patents, didn't do a good job with none of us .im stuck thinking about this all the time,need help &advice.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 10, 2012, 08:03 PM
    Your first priority needs to be for yourself and your child. There are many organizations that help unwed mothers, particularly young ones who are not able to provide for themselves and their children. Search for services for unplanned pregnancy on your computer, and call a few in your area and see if they can help you. Particularly pro-life organizations are interested in helping young mothers who wish to have and raise their babies and might have resources for housing, school and things like that, to support you and the baby and help with child care and so on until you can get on your feet. There are many homes for unwed mothers around the country where they teach you all kinds of parenting skills, make sure you finish your education and get training for a job or get into college, and help you financially. These programs are ideal for you. There are a lot of them so if one says "no", keep calling other ones until someone says "yes". Even if they are far away, they might help you get there - you don't know until you ask.

    As for your younger siblings, if they are being neglected, you can make an anonymous report to your local county. Each county has a department that manages family services and looks into suspected child neglect situations. They might place the children in a more stable foster care system - this is a very real potential outcome. They might first offer some support services to the family. Your mother's residency could be a problem for her if the authorities find out about it. However, if the children are neglected, I think it would be both moral and responsible to report the situation. You also have the option of speaking to your aunt and seeing if the two of you, together, can come up with a plan for the younger kids. It may seem mean to report your own parent, but if they are neglecting their children, then you have to consider who has control over the situation. Adults have control, children do not. So, if children need protection and help, that's more important than protecting the adult that could solve the problem if they wanted to. If they parents aren't able to provide for the children, the only solution is to bring in outside hep.

    You probably cannot support any of these kids but if you focus on what you CAN do for yourself and your baby, you might be able to help your siblings in a year or two from now. So, work toward that.
    alice26's Avatar
    alice26 Posts: 41, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Dec 12, 2012, 08:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dontknownuthin View Post
    Your first priority needs to be for yourself and your child. There are many organizations that help unwed mothers, particularly young ones who are not able to provide for themselves and their children. Search for services for unplanned pregnancy on your computer, and call a few in your area and see if they can help you. Particularly pro-life organizations are interested in helping young mothers who wish to have and raise their babies and might have resources for housing, school and things like that, to support you and the baby and help with child care and so on until you can get on your feet. There are many homes for unwed mothers around the country where they teach you all kinds of parenting skills, make sure you finish your education and get training for a job or get into college, and help you financially. These programs are ideal for you. There are a lot of them so if one says "no", keep calling other ones until someone says "yes". Even if they are far away, they might help you get there - you don't know until you ask.

    As for your younger siblings, if they are being neglected, you can make an anonymous report to your local county. Each county has a department that manages family services and looks into suspected child neglect situations. They might place the children in a more stable foster care system - this is a very real potential outcome. They might first offer some support services to the family. Your mother's residency could be a problem for her if the authorities find out about it. However, if the children are neglected, I think it would be both moral and responsible to report the situation. You also have the option of speaking to your aunt and seeing if the two of you, together, can come up with a plan for the younger kids. It may seem mean to report your own parent, but if they are neglecting their children, then you have to consider who has control over the situation. Adults have control, children do not. So, if children need protection and help, that's more important than protecting the adult that could solve the problem if they wanted to. If they parents aren't able to provide for the children, the only solution is to bring in outside hep.

    You probably cannot support any of these kids but if you focus on what you CAN do for yourself and your baby, you. might be able to help your siblings in aa year or two from now. So, work toward that.
    Yeah I'm not that one who needs help ,I live with my bf&mother in law in a diffdiff city&things are okay with us.I just can't stop worry for my 3 little sisters that are still with mom&dad.they need clothes food&stuff like that ,if I reprort them they will never forgive me, we been in a foster home



    Before they split all 8 of us up,woudnt want that for them.
    alice26's Avatar
    alice26 Posts: 41, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 12, 2012, 08:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by alice26 View Post
    Yeah im not that one who needs help ,i live with my bf&mother in law in a diffdiff city&things are okay with us.i just can't stop worry for my 3 lil sisters that are still with mom&dad.they need clothes food&stuff like that ,if i reprort them they will never forgive me, we been in a foster home



    before they split all 8 of us up,woudnt want that for them.




    I tink sumeting needs to b done now,how can I convince them to be better parents

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