[laurenh1990]

Hi everyone, just an update form my previous posts. Me and my partner who was featured in my last questions are no longer together (I found a message on his phone to an ex stating he wanted to get back with her, so I left him)

So a friend of mine suggested I join a dating site to 'get myself out there' and for people to talk to. Got chatting to a guy who lives in the next town to me, lovely guy, knows I'm not looking for a relationship right now (states on his profile he isn't either)... and I am due to meet him tomorrow night. I am going out anyway with some friends so he's going to tag along later on in the evening.

But when I told my friends my plans they were saying it's too soon and I don't want to be going into a rebound? I don't see it as a rebound... so is it too soon? Surely there's no harm in it, I mean I'm meeting him somewhere neutral with people around me, so I don't see any issues on safety.

So I guess my question is, are my friends being overly cautious? IS it a rebound? Not sure what to think now

[Wondergirl]

No, it's not a rebound. (A rebound what?? If neither of you wants a relationship, there's no rebound.)

[odinn7]

WG is right... it's only a rebound if you jump into a relationship.

[laurenh1990]

See that's what I thought, but my friends are all 'if you go out drinking, find him attractive and have sex with him you'll regret it'... but so what if we have sex? As long as we're safe. Nothing wrong with having a bit of post-relationship fun surely?

[Cat1864]

What are your expectations? If all you are expecting is a drink and getting to know him and he is looking for the same thing, no problem.

If you are expecting to go for drinks (possibly to get drunk) and end up in bed for a little 'post relationship fun', how much do you know about this person? You may be looking for 'fun', but it isn't 'fun' if he has been less than truthful about his relationships, health, or intentions. Unless you have friends in common with him, you don't if he is a 'good guy' or setting you up for games you don't want to play. Stalkers and rapists can be very pleasant until they actually strike.

Oh and by 'staying safe' I am guessing you mean using birth control. No form of birth control is 100% effective. Do you want to take a chance of having a child with a stranger?

Have a good time, but stay safe. Your health and well-being are worth more than a little adult 'fun' and games.

[Homegirl 50]

How long ago did you break up with your ex?
If you go out, I don't see a problem with that but if you're out looking for post relationship sex with a virtual stranger, that is a bit reckless and makes me wonder why you're doing it.

[odinn7]

but so what if we have sex? as long as we're safe. nothing wrong with having a bit of post-relationship fun surely?

Now see, you didn't mention this part in your original post. Yes, this is a bad idea. Hanging out with no expectations is fine but beyond that is poor judgement and not a good idea at all.

[laurenh1990]

Well it's the morning after the night before. We met and had a few drinks and danced. I wasn't saying I was going to have sex with him, I was just saying if I did there would be nothing wrong with it. I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago, cut all ties and went no contact. I'm still on the pill and took condoms with need anyway. I don't drink much so I'd like to think I have good judgement on whether it would have been a stupid idea or dangerous situation :)

[Homegirl 50]

How long had you dated you ex? 3 weeks is not very long if you had a long relationship.
Glad you stayed out of bed though. That would have been silly. Sex with strangers is not cool in my opinion.

[laurenh1990]

was with him for 3 years, but surprisingly over it already. He lost all my love and respect the minute I saw the message to his ex. I'm personally not into one night stands, but whatever floats your boat! Always best to be prepared anyway =)

[ArmstrongMiller]

You need enough time to get yourself back.