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marksgrace · Dec 4, 2012, 12:27 AM

Hi my partner and I have an 11 month old son, when we met I was between sizes 6 / 8 but after having our son I am now a size 12. He would usually suggest that it would be nice if I look like how I used to because I look so good then.. Evrytime he says it I can't help but feel bad... He says he wants me to be happy because he knows I will if I lose all the weight I gained... Not that I haven't tried.. I enrolled myself in the gym but staying at home minding a toddler 24/7 is tiring... I guess I just want someone to tell me if me getting upset over it is pointless and he's right...

hheath541 · Dec 4, 2012, 01:32 AM

No, you're not upset over nothing. It's extremely rude to keep telling someone you claim to love that they need to change. If he was offering something constructive, like helping with the household chores and minding your son while you go to the gym and joining you on a diet, it would be different. Instead, he's doing nothing but subtly insulting you and implying you're no longer good enough, because you gained a few pounds while pregnant with HIS son.

Weight gain during pregnancy is encouraged, but it's notoriously hard to lose. It's not like you decided to spend nine months sitting on the couch eating cookies. Your body was undergoing continuous stress and changes while you grew a human being. Now you've spent the last 11 months caring for that tiny human you grew, that is dependent on you for everything.

A size 12 isn't a bad size. Despite what all the fashion magazine would have you believe, it's not an unhealthy weight (given you're around average height of at least 5'2"). Yes, losing a few pounds wouldn't hurt anything, but you are far from the point where it has to be a priority.

If you want to lose the baby weight, then do it because you want to. You shouldn't have to change your appearance to please someone else. As long as you can live with the way you look, that's all that should matter.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 4, 2012, 01:50 AM

First 24/7, sounds like you need to get out, Is there a mothers day out program,
Some gyms have day care, if not, arrange with hubby two or three evenings to watch the child and do the housework while you go to the gym.

In good enough weather, get a jogging stroller and job while pushing the stroller.

If you want to lose weight, no reason you can't. Is he worried about you, do you also mention weight ? Or is this selfish on his side ?