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    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Mar 14, 2007, 06:23 AM
    Comment needs interpretation
    In a email my BF wrote to a woman (someone he used to work with and they were friends)... he wrote "Lin and I are doing fine. We haven't decided on anything yet. I think that we both have feet that are cold wet and cold. I had her car toned up, new tires, and a remote start. That is as close to being a husband as I care to get.

    save me a hug,"

    How would you interpret this? I get mixed feelings about it. Is it a hint for her? The man was crying and begging me to marry him 2 months ago (he had a ring)... at that time I was trying to break it off with him... then I read this comment and wonder... any help?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Mar 14, 2007, 06:26 AM
    I have to ask how you came to be reading his e-mails? That would have a bearing on my answer.
    tinsign's Avatar
    tinsign Posts: 275, Reputation: 66
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    #3

    Mar 14, 2007, 06:29 AM
    Well to be honest with you I too am sitting here scratching head thinking
    Perhaps he was replying as to how you were both doing from a previous mail, and that he decided he doesn't want the married life with you after all.
    That's my interpetation of what he is implying
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Mar 14, 2007, 06:45 AM
    He has me go on his name all the time to look up stuff for him.
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Mar 14, 2007, 06:46 AM
    I agree with you also tinsign... but I also wonder if he was putting feelers out there for her to respond to...
    kanicky73's Avatar
    kanicky73 Posts: 484, Reputation: 63
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    #6

    Mar 14, 2007, 07:41 AM
    The thing that sucks about emails, is that you don't really get the actual "tone" that someone is trying to convey. I would ask him about it. If the two of you are talking about marriage, then the first thing you have to have is communication. If you can't openly ask him about this, then you need to ask yourself if either of you are at the point of taking the next step into marriage.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Mar 14, 2007, 07:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lyn1106
    He has me go on his name all the time to look up stuff for him.
    Ok, so he allows you free access to his e-mails. So he knows there is a probablity that you will read that mail. So maybe he's trying to get you a little bit jealous. The fact that he knows you can see what he's written makes me believe it was planted.
    robertsqueen's Avatar
    robertsqueen Posts: 376, Reputation: 43
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    #8

    Mar 14, 2007, 08:22 AM
    Or, maybe he is trying to get to realize that you aren't the only fish in the sea, and that he is trying to give you an ultimatium, but if aren't ready for marriage don't marry him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:32 AM
    Speculation means nothing. Calmly ask him about it since he gives you free access
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
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    #10

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:57 AM
    I agree with Tal -- asking him beats guessing any day of the week.
    Besides maybe its because he has nothing to hide. Some people are like that. LOL

    But I have to wonder what's with this part of it...
    Quote Originally Posted by lynn1106
    He has me go on his name all the time to look up stuff for him.
    This doesn't seem particularly legit to me but perhaps that's my reaction to it.
    It hits me as pretty unnecessary and therefore a bit strange, maybe even a bit gamey or manipulative that he requires this.
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:03 PM
    Maybe he wants to get caught making the comment... he asked me today to write an email to a company (he is having problems with a product)... which means I would go on his name and type up the email... I will ask him about it... but it seems pointless... if he was up to no good he would make up some excuse for the comment.
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:06 PM
    He has me go into his checking account also.

    I believe his proposal of marriage to me was just an attempt to stop the breakup. I believe he honestly wants to be a free man and he is saying what he actually feels to this friend of his... wants to keep the door open... everyone has given me great answers... thank you
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #13

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:07 PM
    Why did you not go through with breaking up with him?

    Because he proposed?
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:13 PM
    Great answers. Thanks for your feedback.
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:13 PM
    The proposal didn't mean anything to me. It came out of left field. I care about him, we talked and I decided to see if it works out or not. I didn't take the ring.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #16

    Mar 14, 2007, 03:19 PM
    Sounds like this relationship is going nowhere fast unless you sit down and have some honest communication with him like 2 adults.
    lyn1106's Avatar
    lyn1106 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #17

    Mar 14, 2007, 07:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Skell
    Sounds like this relationship is going nowhere fast unless you sit down and have some honest communication with him like 2 adults.
    Skell you're right... that was part of our problem... obviously it still is... thanks for the feedback:D
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