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reducti0n · Nov 24, 2012, 09:20 AM

Well basically, she is going to a university in the US for a couple of months for an exchange programme, and she going with her group of friends that I do not know. I was fine with that until I realised what it really meant. The context of our relationship is as such: We got to know each other while she was still attached to another guy, and she said she found me attractive. She proceeded to break up with the guy shortly after, and just a few days later, she confessed to me. A few days afterwards, we got attached. This happened in a span of a week. I really do trust her as even though she is really friendly towards other guys I can see that she really loves me too, but the situation is as such, and I am pretty worried to not be there with her. I understand that whether she tries to get close to other guys would be entirely her decision. But like any other concerned boyfriend, I feel at a loss of what to do to prevent that, or if it actually happens, salvage the relationship.

Ps. I recently brought up the topic by casually saying that she will be without me for a while there, and she responded by saying that I will be "single" again. The conversation proceeded by me saying that I would not entertain the thought of being with some else when I am with her( as that is totally wrong). Her response kind of got me worried as she said, you will never know who like until you try, just like how you tried to get to know me.

teacherjenn4 · Nov 24, 2012, 09:25 AM

Sounds like she plans on having an open relationship while she's gone and expects you to do the same.

reducti0n · Nov 24, 2012, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Sounds like she plans on having an open relationship while she's gone and expects you to do the same.

I believe that to be true but she is actually the pretty possessive type, hence it was a shocker for me to hear that from her. While it is not in my control what she does there, it seems that she is actually egging me on to TRY to like someone else, which is quite unlike her.

teacherjenn4 · Nov 24, 2012, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by reducti0n

I believe that to be true but she is actually the pretty possessive type, hence it was a shocker for me to hear that from her. While it is not in my control what she does there, it seems that she is actually egging me on to TRY to like someone else, which is quite unlike her.

That's so she won't feel guilty when she does see other people on the trip. How long will she be in the U.S.

reducti0n · Nov 24, 2012, 10:43 AM

A couple of months, I am not to sure, but it is usually for a semester. Well I guess that reaction was a moodswing kind of thing, because she's back to her clingy self again. I think the best I can do is to trust her let her do what she wants over there, but I will definitely let my concerns be heard, maybe ill tell her sometime soon.

MadlyInLove · Nov 24, 2012, 11:24 AM

I'm not entirely sure if this is the case, but she could be testing you. Like maybe she said that just to see if you had a strong reaction, and if you did then she would know that you care about her, and don't want anyone else.

Alty · Nov 24, 2012, 12:52 PM

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. It doesn't sound like you trust her.

She's going away, she doesn't need your approval to do so. You either trust her, or you don't.

If she does cheat, then you find out how much you mean to her, and how much your relationship means to her.

reducti0n · Nov 24, 2012, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by MadlyInLove

I'm not entirely sure if this is the case, but she could be testing you. Like maybe she said that just to see if you had a strong reaction, and if you did then she would know that you care about her, and don't want anyone else.

That seems to be the case I guess. But I tried not to have a really strong reaction, in case it seemed accusatory, hope that worked out well. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens. Haha thanks for the help!

reducti0n · Nov 24, 2012, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. It doesn't sound like you trust her.

She's going away, she doesn't need your approval to do so. You either trust her, or you don't.

If she does cheat, then you find out how much you mean to her, and how much your relationship means to her.

Well trust is not something you can just say and make yourself believe in it. It is true actions and it develops over time. I can say that I really do love her a lot, but at the same time I can't say that I trust her completely or as much as I want to; it has only been 2 months into our relationship. She actually did consider not going for her exchange because of me though, but I encouraged her to go, as it's a rare chance for her and ill be going to UK sometime next year for my exchange too. So I guess we just got to use this as a test of time and distance!

Alty · Nov 24, 2012, 02:11 PM

I can say that I really do love her a lot, but at the same time I can't say that I trust her completely

That says more about your relationship than anything. How can you love someone you don't trust?

I realize it's only been 2 months, but I have to say, I've never even begun a relationship with someone I don't completely trust. It's a dead end. It's failure waiting to happen.