I need help

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 01:17 AM

I'm desperate for answers. He left me again... I believe its for another but I'm not positive. We been together off and on for 16 yrs. He's done this several times but I'm afraid this time he won't come back. I call and text him obsessivley I drive by his house... im losing my mind what do I do? He won't even tell me why he left me... when he does answer my texts, he's mean like I did something to him instead of the othr way around. I just want answers and he won't giv them to me. WHY is he doing this? I don't evn know why he left me

J_9 · Nov 20, 2012, 01:29 AM

Who is "he?" Husband? Boyfriend?

You need to stop stalking him. Your insecurities are most likely what led him to leave you.

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 01:36 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Who is "he?" Husband? Boyfriend?

You need to stop stalking him. Your insecurities are most likely what led him to leave you.

Boyfriend 16 yrs. He has cheated so many times that's where the insecurity comes from. He only ever left me when he has his flings... but I thought this time wed make it. I thought he was done being a cheater

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 01:37 AM

Originally Posted by sidebar

boyfriend 16 yrs. he has cheated so many times thats where the insecurity comes from. he only ever left me when he has his flings ...but i thought this time wed make it. i thought he was done being a cheater

It hurts so much I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up

J_9 · Nov 20, 2012, 01:39 AM

Once a cheater, always a cheater. He has torn you down over 16 years. You should have left the first time it happened.

Do you have any children with him?

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Once a cheater, always a cheater. He has torn you down over 16 years. You should have left the first time it happened.

Do you have any children with him?

no... but 16 years is 16 years... how can I get him back? Why is he hurting me and acting as if he never ever cared

J_9 · Nov 20, 2012, 02:05 AM

Why would you even want him back? It's pretty apparent to me, and I don't know either one of you, that he doesn't love you at all. People who love each other don't cheat.

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 02:06 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Why would you even want him back? It's pretty apparent to me, and I don't know either one of you, that he doesn't love you at all. People who love each other don't cheat.

Thanks I feel much better

J_9 · Nov 20, 2012, 02:15 AM

Look, he doesn't love you. Possibly never has. I know of very few relationships that carry on 16 years without a marriage.

You were having a relationship with him, but he wasn't having one with you.

Now, you need to block his number. Stop texting and/or calling him. Stop driving by his place. By doing all this, you risk being charged with stalking.

sidebar · Nov 20, 2012, 02:24 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Look, he doesn't love you. Quite possibly never has. I know of very few relationships that carry on 16 years without a marriage.

You were having a relationship with him, but he wasn't having one with you.

Now, you need to block his number. Stop texting and/or calling him. Stop driving by his place. By doing all this, you risk being charged with stalking.

You are a with less than helpful advice. Go to hell

J_9 · Nov 20, 2012, 02:28 AM

I wasn't cold hearted at all. I was honest. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

Like I said, he doesn't love you. I know that hurts you to hear that, but it's the truth. If he loved you, he would have married you by now. If he loved you he never would have cheated in the first place.

People who love each other go to all lengths to make sure that their partner is happy at ALL times. People who love each other don't try to hurt their partner.

I'm sorry you are offended by my comments, but it's the truth.

I have been in 2 relationships in my life. My first husband cheated on me. Guess what. We are divorced. I don't stand being second place to anyone much less my lover. My current husband and I have been together 21 years.

What would you like me to tell you? Would you like me to tell you to chase him to the ends of the earth until he comes back to you?

In the end, yes, you need help. You need professional help to understand why this relationship is toxic to your mental and physical health.

I truly hope there are no children involved.

Originally Posted by J_9

Why would you even want him back? It's pretty apparent to me, and I don't know either one of you, that he doesn't love you at all. People who love each other don't cheat.

Thanks I feel much better

You feel much better, but you reported my post? You feel much better but gave me a reddie?

What ACTUALLY do you feel better about?

ScottGem · Nov 20, 2012, 04:09 AM

Lets look at the situation here. You have been with this guy for 16 years. He has repeatedly cheated on you yet you want him back. You posted this under Mental & Emotional Health instead of Relationships.

So I see this as a plea for help. But the only person who can help you would be a competent therapist. You are seemingly suffering from low self esteem issues, and obsessive compulsive disorders. You need professional help in dealing with these issues.

You were given good advice, yet you chose to strike back and someone who volunteered her time to try to help you. You need a wakeup call not this abuser. He doesn't care about you. The only thing he cares about is what you give him. I'm assuming that includes sex and the ego boost that he can control you.

Please seek professional help.

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