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MDNana · Nov 15, 2012, 06:41 AM

I have a problem and considering pressing charges.
I have had custody of 3 of my grandchildren for 10 years now - they were 2,3 and 4 when They came to live with me.
The oldest (a female) wanted to live with her Aunt so we did the paperwork and she lived with her for 2 years. When this insident happened her youndest daughter was 3 and my other grandaughter was 9 or had just turned 10. The 3 yr old came to her mom laughing and said look how funny __________ looked at me, isn't she silly? Well what had happened was the 10 yr. old licked the 3 yr old on her breast while looking in the 3 yr olds eyes. When asked why she did it she had no answer. When questioned the 3 yr old said she was never touched anywhere else (questions were 3 yrd old appropriate). I removed the 10 year old from their home within a day or two to return home with us explaining to her that we all missed her. NOW my daughter has been divorced for two years and her X-husband has been remarried for 2 years. There is a fight for sharing custody of the youngest. The father ( a police Officer) is now bringing up the incident that happened 5 yrs ago calling the now 15 year old a child molester and feels that his now 8 year old is in danger if the 15 year old visits.

NOTHING has ever happened again with the 15 year old. She is in High School and studying to become a nurse. Her Uncle is constantly referring to her as a child molester for that one and only incident. If he continues this will hurt her in so many ways and possibly her career choice. She will be looked at differently by EVERYONE. This is wrong in so many ways. Now since that one little incident 5 yrs ago he has let his child go on vacation with us which includes the older child. But now since this has become an ugly custody battle he is name calling in the courts. I cannot convince him that what she did was normal curiosity and has never happened again. To me this is slander and I don't know is pressing charges on him for slander is wrong BUT he is throwing the Child Molester word around a lot. HELP

cdad · Nov 15, 2012, 04:11 PM

Has he actually said it out in the open or just in court papers or what is actually happening? Is she aware he is saying this? How did she find out?

Quite frankly since there has been no continuation and the incident is isolated he needs to stop talking about it. Since he is a police officer and he is aware that child molestation is a crime and if he hid it then his job is in jepardy. Really the only thing you could do at this point is to file a restraining order against him to silence the issue and he will have a black mark on his record.

MDNana · Nov 16, 2012, 02:21 PM

He is taking his x-wife (my daughter) to court for child support and custody of their youngest, they have been divorced 3 yrs and he remarried within 5 days of their divorce. He is telling people he wants custody because there is a family child molester that comes to her home. I'm sorry but his daughter was 3 and my other granddaughter was 10, still in Elementary school. It was something stupid and according to doctors - normal childhood curiosity - nothing has ever happened again. That 10 yr old is now 15, in high school and taking classes to be a nurse - if he continues she can forget this. He is doing this so the courts will side with him in limiting her visits with her mother and if she continues to have a relationship mith me (her mother) who has custody of their 15 yr old niece his children will not be allowed to be in the same home at the same time. This is funny considering in 2010 he allowed the youngest one to go on a weeks vacation with us so both girls were on vacation together and he didn't seen to have a problem then.

AK lawyer · Nov 16, 2012, 02:42 PM

... To me this is slander and I don't know is pressing charges on him for slander is wrong BUT he is throwing the Child Molester word around a lot.. .

No, you are not going to prevail in court alleging slander. Although you are correct that your grand-daughter's conduct at age 10 was nothing more than normal childhood curiosity, describing it in the way he describes it as "child molestation" is technically correct and not slander. But I really doubt that it will adversely effect her career prospects.

cdad · Nov 16, 2012, 02:42 PM

All that can be done is a restraining order and possibly a gag order on paperwork regarding the child. As she is still a minor she belongs to a protected class.
Does your daughter have a lawyer? What is he/she saying about the accusations ?

MDNana · Nov 16, 2012, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

All that can be done is a restraining order and possibly a gag order on paperwork regaurding the child. As she is still a minor she belongs to a protected class.
Does your daughter have a lawyer? What is he/she saying about the accusations ?

They were still married when this happened - again, this was five years ago - he is playing dirty and just trying to ( and succeeding) keep he family away from the kids - He told my grandchildren that live with me not to call him Uncle anymore because when you get a divorce you divorce the whole family. My daughter does have a lawyer and today she asked her lawyer to have him to stop the name calling so we will see what comes from that.

Alty · Nov 16, 2012, 05:57 PM

I have no legal advice for you, I only want to tell you how sorry I am that your grandchild is having to deal with this jerk. I think your daughter is well rid of him, good riddance to him.

I hope that everything is worked out and that your grandchild doesn't have to be subjected to his vicious name calling any more.

Good luck to you and your family.