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    Kortni's Avatar
    Kortni Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Nov 14, 2012, 11:18 PM
    Friends father is dying
    I just started dating this handsome, smart, loving, caring, sweet man. He canceled our date the other day at the last minute but didn't say why so I took it like he was done dating me. After an hour passed I texted him and told him if he wasn't interested in me she should've just told me. The next morning he texted back to tell me he had been at the hospital at night due to the fact his dad was dying, what do I say to him? Should I just give him space and wait to see if he calls, text, or come to visit me? I don't know, I just know he's hurting.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Nov 15, 2012, 12:02 AM
    Give a brief message and appologize profusely... say you are sorry to hear that and stress you can understand what he's dealing with... and simple ask him to get back with you when he is able or needs someone to talk to... and then give him some space... let him take the next step.because if you've never been in his shoes... its an unbelieveible stressful period... more than you would imagine.
    Kortni's Avatar
    Kortni Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Nov 15, 2012, 12:47 AM
    That's exactly what I was thinking, thanks so much!
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
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    #4

    Nov 15, 2012, 05:26 AM
    Why didn't he tell you why he was cancelling the date when he cancelled the date?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Nov 15, 2012, 05:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smearcase View Post
    Why didn't he tell you why he was cancelling the date when he cancelled the date?
    Having been through this personally many years ago from HIS perspective... thinking of explaining it in detail to someone they have only been out with a few times was definitely not on his list of important things to do at that moment. And to put it mild... he is most likely completely overwelmed with more pressing things... which he will adjust to but its going to take a little while until he restructures everything to his new reality... the human mind can only handle so many things at once and it needs time to reprioritize things when presented with things like this unexpectedly.

    Not that he doesn't care about her... just the reality of a major family emergency bumps other things to a higher level of importance for a period. Things will gradually settle down as he adjusts.
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
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    #6

    Nov 15, 2012, 06:12 AM
    I agree. I have been there too. But a simple "I have a family emergency or My father is very ill" is not too much to expect from a caring, loving, sweet person.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Nov 15, 2012, 06:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smearcase View Post
    I agree. I have been there too. But a simple "I have a family emergency or My father is very ill" is not too much to expect from a caring, loving, sweet person.
    Under normal circumstances I'd agree... but finding out your parent is dying that same day sort of throws all of that into the wind. Except for maybe finding out your chidl is dying nothing hits you in the gut like a mother or father dying... particuilarly if you had a close family relationship with them.

    However even that can vary greatly person to person.

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