[BeReal17]

My boyfriend and I have been together and living together for a year. We are best friends and do everything together. After the first 2 months our sex life went into retirement. Im not one to want sex all the time but I think it is important to have sex at least 1x a week. Its been 2 months now with 0 sex. I will wake up in the middle of the night and catch him jerking off to porn in the bathroom. Just recently his ex/baby momma decided to tell me that she thought he was gay. He did tell me his best friend who happens to be gay (and obsessed with him)gave him a blow job years ago when he was drunk but he was 19 and he's 32 now. We also had a problem with pain killers and quit a month ago. We are both very stressed and looking for new jobs I get it. But I am under the same amount of stress if not more. I pay the rent he uses my car and I pay for almost anything he needs.When he has money he is good to me but he also has a 11year old he owes a ton of support toso any extra $ goes to him. I know he is very stressed. I am just tired of being told by his ex that he is a sex addict and if he's not having sex with me he will find it somewhere else man or woman. 3 months after we met and he was living with me he cheated with this gross whore, we broke up for a week and I took him back. That also weighs heavy on me. I know he's not cheating now he's with me 24/7 but I don't know what to do about our lack of sex. I also know he was molested as a child. Any ideas how I can help this situation I love him more than anything and I want us to go back to enjoying sex. Oh one more thing when we do have sex he can't stay hard for very long and I usually have to finish him with a blow job which means I never get to finish anyway. I really insulted him tonight because we were in the shower and I went down on him and he couldn't even get hard so I asked him if he was gay because I just don't get it and I guess I really insulted him because he found this website.Any suggestions. PLease help I don't know what else to do!

[joypulv]

Studies have shown that men consider the ability to work, provide, bring home the bacon to be # 1 importance in their lives, and if they aren't feeling good about that, sex is sure to suffer. Add to that his child molestation and you have a sure fire soup of troubles. Many adult men who were molested by older men find themselves attracted to that kind of sex whether they want to be or not, and many do not, so they just hate themselves, or act it out secretly or alone.
STOP listening to his ex, for starters. And don't confront him with direct questions or accusations. Try to curb your need to be desired and desirable for a bit, while you give him time to talk it all out. Just listen. Allow your feelings in of course, and say that it hurts when he goes to porn instead of you, but see what you can talk out first. If it doesn't resolve then you need to decide if you love him enough to stay or if you need to leave.

[Tigre83]

Hi !
From what you wrote, I get the impression he might be having sex with another person then, since you said, he did cheat on you already in the past.
I know how painful this is , but if he is like that with you, you are better off without him.
I am sure you will find a caring and loving man instead of such a jerk.
Good luck.