[SassyBesser]

.. this is the situation: me,my partner and our donor are planning on having a baby and We are going to get a paper noterized,stateing that he is ONLY in this for the purpose to help with the sperm,and that no one will come back later in the future for money and or he will not change up and want some kind of rights... my partners name will be on the birth certificate,and I was wondering is this type of paper"LEGAL" or is there something els we should be getting,maybe a different type ofform that does Not actually name the donor? Please.. any advice woud be great...

[grammadidi]

I think this is too important a situation to take any chances. I wouldn't rely on something like that. I would spend a bit of money and have my lawyer draw up legal documentation. I'm obviously not an expert on this, but it sure seems like it's too risky to take a chance.

Didi

[Fr_Chuck]

of course is the matter that there is fraud on the birth certificate if you list someone who is not the father as the father

Also is the issue that not all states accept same sex values for adoption from my understanding ( although this is changing every day, so hard to keep up)

So what has to happen is the baby is born with no father listed, and the partner will have to apply for adoption.

An attorney can work out the paper work for the father to give over his rights and agree to the adoption.

[grammadidi]

Just wanted to add that I do feel that the actual father's name should be on the birth certificate. The child may want to know some day, and, because you do know the donor, it just seems like the right thing to do.

I just have a thing about that anyway. If people have no way of tracing their birth father's names, how do they know that they aren't in love with their half sister or half brother at some later point in time? If he's a known donor, then I really believe his name should be on the birth certificate.

Didi

[SassyBesser]

Thank you for the advice so far,I am NOT personally into god or any other set religion,but my partner is... and I am positive here in California that there are certain rights and what not.We are registered as domestic partners.. the person that is helping with this process is actually going to be in our lives and what not but not under the pretense that he is Daddy... but he will be there as an Uncle. He will be a part of our family, subsequently he is also my partners best friend. And as soon as our child is old enough and asking questions he or she will told by all three of us.

[Fr_Chuck]

SassyBesser, I am not sure where any reference to god or relgion even came into this, I read every post before your response and all merely addressed legal issues no religion. I am not sure that the mere fact I am in a religious order sparked that remark or not.

If the bio father is working with both of you and is agreeable to signing over their rights. The sperm donor thing when it is still being tried in court as to rights and not rights. In the area of sperm banks where the donor is not identified there have been some laws ( but not nation wide yet) but the area where it is from a known party, yes normally legal contracts are drawn up before hand explaining the entire process and what rights will or will not be given.

Since this was not posted in the religious or any area asking for anything but legal advice, I will not get into personal beleifs on the situation.

[SassyBesser]

Thanks everyone for your responses.. I was just wondering,nothing personal either way,I do not think that someone's"opinion should be allowed here" but that's another story.I do thank you ,Sir for your help.Sassy

[Ninotchka]

If you are in CA you have quite a few options open to you that people in less progressive states don't have! Avail yourself of all the legal protection you can have (quite a bit). Go see a lawyer who specializes in gay family law. If you need a referral, let me know what area of the state you're in and I'll ask around.

Having said that:

To the best of my knowledge, in CA your donor agreement will be legally enforceable IF the sperm at some point passes through the hands of a physician. Otherwise it can be useful to show intent, but is not legally enforceable.

Your partner can adopt your child via a second-parent adoption. It's even possible that it can be the easier step-parent adoption (I'm not in CA so I don't know).

SEE A LAWYER! Protect yourself and your family!

Best of luck to you.

[Ninotchka]

I do not think that someones"opinion should be allowed here"

As you can see, inappropriate posts are reported and dealt with rather quickly. :) Don't let the turkeys get you down.

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually it was an opinin and not really inappropriate, I am sad that people do not like hearing opinoins of others. I would not have delted it personally since it merely stated a opinion which is shared by a large majority of people.

[Ninotchka]

Actually it was an opinin and not really inappropriate, I am sad that people do not like hearing opinoins of others. I would not have delted it personally since it merely stated a personal opinion which is shared by a large majority of people.

This is an advice forum. What that person "offered" wasn't advice, it was invective.

I'm sure there are lots of personal opinions that I could merely state (mostly to do with people who think that loving relationships are disgusting). I won't, because this isn't the forum for it. Let's keep it on topic.

[SassyBesser]

This is not a place where I was asking if anyone liked or agreed with what I was doing,it is not their part for that matter to let me know,if they have no usefu info then why would you even respond when this is obviously very imporatant to me and the more LEGAL information I can find the better.. Thank You.p.s. no one can nor will ever getme down.Life is too wonderful and precious for that.:)