[jshenton27]

Let me start by saying this... I have recently come off anxiety medications and finally have my sex drive back. Being on those medications killed my sex drive. When I was on them, my husband would initiate sex about 1 to 2 times a week. Since I've been off, I initiate sex at least every other day. What I've read is that most men would adore having a woman who wants sex so frequently, however, my husband seems to be annoyed by it. Whenever I ask him something like "you want to blow off some steam real quick?" the usual response is a very generic "sure" or "okay but I'm really tired or need to go to the bathroom first". Something like that. He very rarely jumps at the idea. I know he likes to be dominant when it comes to our sex life, am I taking that away from him by being somewhat of a nympho now? Lol.

A little background... We have been married 4 years, and YES, I am still in great shape (even after having a child), still have my personality, and pride myself on being pretty hot. No I'm not a stick figure, nor do I have huge fake boobs or big pouty lips, but I workout almost daily, have good hygiene, have a nice booty and small waist, nice full hair, dress pretty classy, am fun and energetic, am a good mother to our kids, keep a clean and organized home and am just generally a good catch. I am confident of all the above.

So what's wrong? Don't get me wrong, he doesn't ever reject me, but he just doesn't seem into it mentally. We have a great sex life! Plenty of foreplay, I'm not a dead fish, we explore different positions, I give him plenty of oral, I always express enjoyment and show plenty of interaction, I even gave into anal for him and actually really love it, and I also play with myself in front of him because I know it turns him on.

So should I just back off and let him be the initiator most of the time? I would, but then I'm neglecting my needs to be intimate with him everyday.

I'm confused and don't know where to find a good balance. I would love your thoughts and opinions. Thanks!

[Cat1864]

I need some clarification. You have a thread started on Nov. 1, 2012 about your husband taking your medication. Is he still taking your Adderall? Are you still taking it?

Until I know what affect the medication is having on him and if his usage has shed light on medical issues you weren't aware of him having, there isn't much advice I can offer.

About all I can say is that men, contrary to media portrayal, are not constantly thinking of or wanting sex. They are individuals with libidos that can be naturally lower or higher. They can have issues such as stress, exhaustion, addictions, etc. which can affect their needs and desires.

You need to discuss this matter with him and find out what is going on in his mind. Together find a compromise.