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    Spaniard1969's Avatar
    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:38 PM
    Help me please
    Feeling confused and unhappy. I have felt this way for a few weeks now. I love my wife, but her kids take up so much of her time, that at end of day she has no time for me. She falls asleep cause she is so tired and now with the new dog she bought last weekend, even more so as I am now also competing with the dog. We are hardly intimate anymore and frankly I have to always initiate a move. I have spoken to her a few times about not letting life get in the way and that we need time everyday for each other, she always agrees but in the end it stays the same. I don't want to lose her, but I don't see this changing. Her kids are very demanding of her time and ultimately she wants that, so that leaves me with very little alternative but to take a step back which makes me very unhappy. Also her ex is a pain who always has excuses not to pay and that puts a strain on us as kids go to a private school and I disagree with that as we can not afford it. To top it off her mother is not a nice person and makes my wife sad and very down, I am there for my wife at all times, but this is getting to be too much for me.
    kim4321's Avatar
    kim4321 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:42 PM
    Well you NEED to definitely talk to her again and tell her EXACTLY how you feel and be completely honest. Also tell her how you miss her and need to with her, how about date nights? Also you should have a family day so nobody is competing for her time. Just tell her :)
    Spaniard1969's Avatar
    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kim4321 View Post
    well you NEED to definitely talk to her again and tell her EXACTLY how you feel nd be completely honest. Also tell her how you miss her and need to with her, how about date nights? Also ya'll should have a family day so nobody is competing for her time. Just tell her :)
    hi, we have every second weekend without kids, but even that sometimes is spent doing house things. I have spoken to her a few times about this and she agrees with me and she tries a few days after, but then it just goes back. I know she loves me, but... I just don't understand why she can't see. I have changed everything she asked me to that I thought she was right about and I do everything necessary to be there for her and the kids, but why is it so hard to do a simple thing like after dinner it is our time?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:50 PM
    Do you help around the house and with the children?
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do you help around the house and with the children?
    all the time. I am currently working part time after having lost my job, so I clean house, do the clothes washing, even when I was employed full time I always helped around house. I am there for the kids all the time. I must admit as I have been getting unhappier, I have not been as patient with them. They are very demanding and somewhat spoilt, but good kids.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:56 PM
    How old are the kids?
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:57 PM
    I'm no saint and do realise that I also sometimes do things that upset her, but I have been brought up to admit my mistakes, apologise sincerely and learn from it to never do it again.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:59 PM
    Tell me about the kids, their ages, their personalities, and tell me about the dog.
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 1, 2012, 09:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How old are the kids?
    boy is 13 and girl is 11, my boy is 17. 13 year old is very childish and girl is very high maintenance, but beautiful kids with a good heart. I do care for them, but am starting to resent them.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:08 PM
    Do they all have chores and responsibilities around the house?
    Spaniard1969's Avatar
    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Tell me about the kids, their ages, their personalities, and tell me about the dog.
    The dog is new and she absolutely loves it, she wanted a larger dog even though we do not have the yard space for it, but I agreed as I saw how happy she was with it. It's 18 months old and needs a lot of attention and walks morning and night, I was going with her, but her daughter and son then wanted to tag along which generally means all her attention is demanded from them, so I stopped going in the mornings. We started to walk dog in afternoon before picking up kids after school from her mums, but girl nagged that she wanted to go to, so the afternoon walks are now after we pick them up. I guess I also feel like a winger as we get every second weekend without kids, but I don't think it's enough.
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Do they all have chores and responsibilities around the house?
    yes. They take turns in cleaning up after dinner.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #13

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:11 PM
    You may be expecting too much private time with her -- with three young children, a newish dog, and a household to run.

    What would you want?
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    You may be expecting too much private time with her -- with three young children, a newish dog, and a household to run.

    What would you want?
    we share the household evenly. I am there for her two kids as their dad is a loser. I just would like some time for us and to have a good sexual, loving relationship.
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Spaniard1969 View Post
    we share the household evenly. I am there for her two kids as their dad is a loser. I just would like some time for us and to have a good sexual, loving relationship.
    the dog was not required, but its something else that is taking her attention away and making her tired which makes her go to sleep early and thus giving us even less time than we previously had.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #16

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:30 PM
    Why is the dog making her tired?
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Nov 1, 2012, 10:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Why is the dog making her tired?
    has to wake up early to walk/jog him.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #18

    Nov 1, 2012, 11:02 PM
    How early? No one else can do this?
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    Spaniard1969 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Nov 1, 2012, 11:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    How early? No one else can do this?
    before 6am. No one else can. This is something she chose cause she wanted the dog and it makes her happy to have the dog.
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    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #20

    Nov 1, 2012, 11:06 PM
    Is he crated in your bedroom?

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