[toddcandi]

I am worried about my son. His mom and I divorced about 5 years ago. I have a girlfriend who he loves and considers to be his step mom.
His mom just married 2 months ago, to a man she dated less than a year. He has 2 kids about my sons age, a girl that has some sort of mental dissability, my son says she behaves like a 3 year old, and a son that has some serious anger issues by the sounds of it.
We switch weeks, so my girlfriend and I have him every other week. During the weeks that he is at his moms, her husband's kids are there during the weekends. From what my son tells us, he doesn't really care for the kids, I can't say that I blame him.
Now that you kind of have an idea of things here's the thing I'm a bit worried about. He seems to enjoy being with us and always tells us that he really missed us when he was at his moms, then of course he says that he misses him mom when he's with us. But when we call him and text him on the phone that we just got him, he has little to say to us. But when he texts and calls his mom, he talks to her for quite a while and when he texts her he says things like "i miss you mommy, i love you very very very very very very much! I love you mommy, can't wait to see you in 5 days". When he texts us we're lucky to get three whole words. He's also asked to stay with her longer on several occasions, but not once has he asked to stay with us longer.
He's 11 years old, I find it kind of, maybe immature I guess (I'm not sure that's quite the right word), that he calls her mommy like that.
I do everything I can for my son and try to make him happy, so does my girlfriend. He has a far more stable situation at our house, he has rules and structure that he understands and follows well. We reward him for good grades and good behavior. We just took him to see Cirque du Soleil as a promised birthday present. It was a bit of a splurge but he really seemed to enjoy the little family vacation. But even than he couldn't wait to get back to his moms. He kind of acts like its no big deal, but I know him well enough to know better.
She usually has been more selfish about things, in my opinion as his father, but he still is more of a momma's boy than anything. When she throws his birthday parties she makes sure the adults have more of a good time than the children. Last time she did it the adults had beer and a place to gamble on slot machines, while the kids had some quarters for arcade games, that didn't last long before the quarters ran out and they were bored. Whenever they do "family activites" its whatever she (and now her husband) wants to do, like hunting. My son isn't really into hunting, he tries to put up a good front for his mom, but he always is telling me how he's glad that I don't hunt, or make him hunt.

So is this just a phase, or am I doing something wrong? I love my son, so it kind of bums me out that he'd always rather spend more time with his mother than he would with me.

[aliseaodo]

-confused- aren't you the girlfriend, not the father?

[Fr_Chuck]

No this is not strange at all, most boys 11 would still prefer to be with their mother. And calling her mommy is not wrong.

Sounds more like you are trying to compete and are keeping score. How many times he wants to stay and so on.

Spend less time keeping score and more time being a parent.

[aliseaodo]

I agree with Fr. Chuck, and, as I mentioned before, this post has a completely different objective if it was posted by a jealous girlfriends point of view... right toddcandi?