[jello6]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I just don't feel the same way towards him anymore. We just recently got engaged and I feel that it was because it was "supposed" to happen... like it was the next step... we bought a house together which is technically mine as it's under my name but because my parents are very conservative, I will not move in until we are married. I am also Muslim and he is Christian and from 2 different cultures. It was a big thing to introduce him to my parents... I'm just so unhappy but I feel like I'm stuck because it would just be embarrassing to break off this engagement now. I find that we are like buddies now... we hang out, watch TV, go to movies and dinner but we hardly ever make love... months pass without us doing anything and it only happens if I ask. For the most part, if I try to touch him, he pushes me away or gives an excuse. I don't know what the issue is and I have tried to be patient but it's to the point where I'm craving that intimacy. I'm to the point where I'm feeling like I want to get it elsewhere... I have plenty of opportunity but I've never had the desire to look outside my relationship until now... This isn't just a recent issue... It's been like this for about a year and a half... I also feel like our relationship is uneven. I don't feel like he's pulling the weight equally financially or otherwise with regard to our relationship. I do a lot of stuff for him and I feel like he doesn't appreciate it. I feel like he thinks everything I do is just a given. Like making him meals, setting appointments for him, getting his life in order! But I feel like more of a mom than a girlfriend... The scariest thing is the thought of us having kids and having to juggle them AND him... I have always been self suffiecient and only really relied on myself for anything but I'm so tired now and I really want to be taken care of sometimes too. There is no passion left... many things he does irritates me... We've tried to work through stuff by going to counselling but I'm not sure how much that helped. Although he agreed to go I don't think he's making any changes. I found that we'd fight more when we left a session. Anyhow, I'm really stuck because now we are engaged... we have been together for so many years that it feels like a waste to say goodbye... I don't know what to do... Any help/advice would be so appreciated.