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    Heyy99's Avatar
    Heyy99 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:14 PM
    How do I tell my mom I was molested as a child?
    I was abused when I was little while my mom was at work by people but I can't remember but no one ever forgets getting raped :"( im so scared to tell my mom that i was raped because knowing how shes half crazy and bi-polar i dont think she will believe me and im 17 years old can i get into foster care to get away from the family? how do i tell my consular and how do they tell my mom? i dont want her to yell at me or i just dont think she will believe me :"(
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:27 PM
    First tell your counselor, and she can help you figure out how to tell your mom.
    You say you don't remember who it was, but you say you need to get away from 'family.' Are you saying you think a family member or members raped you?
    Did you not remember until just recently, and do you think you can describe enough? How old were you?
    Heyy99's Avatar
    Heyy99 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    First tell your counselor, and she can help you figure out how to tell your mom.
    You say you don't remember who it was, but you say you need to get away from 'family.' Are you saying you think a family member or members raped you?
    Did you not remember til just recently, and do you think you can describe enough? How old were you?
    I was going to talk to the consular tomorrow about it, and I think it was but I don't want to get anyone in trouble even if it is ;"( I just want to leave and not no one know except for my mom and my consular,but knowing my mom she's going to tell the whole world maybe I lied or she might no believe me and I was in the 2nd grade so I was about 7
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Heyy99 View Post
    I was abused when i was little while my mom was at work by people but i can't remember but no one ever forgets getting raped :"( im so scared to tell my mom that i was raped because knowing how shes half crazy and bi-polar i dont think she will believe me and im 17 years old can i get into foster care to get away from the family? how do i tell my consular and how do they tell my mom? i dont want her to yell at me or i just dont think she will believe me :"(

    You can report abuse to your local Child Protective Services and ask to be put into their care until you are 17. I don't see how this will help you, though.

    Do you mean a counselor? Who is in therapy, you, your mother, someone else? You tell the counselor in the same words you used here - "I was raped when I was a child, and I'm afraid to tell my Mom."

    Why has this become an issue now? What does "I think it was" mean? If someone had intercourse with you at that age it had to be rape because you were too young to consent.

    You could also wait until you are legal age (18), move out on your own and tell her then.

    Why won't she believe you?

    I was also the victim of rape. I am not unsympathetic. I am just answering you from a legal standpoint.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:57 PM
    You and your counselor can sort out how to tell, when to tell, who to tell. That's not the most important part at first.
    You can't predict what your mom will do and you can't control it either, so you are going to need to talk about this privately for a while. When you don't remember who it was, 10 years ago, you have to be very cautious about people telling you it's all in your imagination (or you are lying). Sort it out in therapy. And work on why you feel like you have to tell your mom at the same time you tell your therapist - you don't!
    Heyy99's Avatar
    Heyy99 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You can report abuse to your local Child Protective Services and ask to be put into their care until you are 17. I don't see how this will help you, though.

    Do you mean a counselor? Who is in therapy, you, your mother, someone else? You tell the counselor in the same words you used here - "I was raped when I was a child, and I'm afraid to tell my Mom."

    Why has this become an issue now? What does "I think it was" mean? If someone had intercourse with you at that age it had to be rape because you were too young to consent.

    You could also wait until you are legal age (18), move out on your own and tell her then.

    Why won't she believe you?

    I was also the victim of rape. I am not unsympathetic. I am just answering you from a legal standpoint.
    I'm going to tell my consular tomorrow, I just need to know how and my moms half crazy and bi-polar plus my moms black and she yells a lot and she's always treated me like when I was little not knowing what was going on in the house, I had thoughts of committing suicide I don't want to wait until I'm 18 I want to tell her now I need to get away from the family,how can I get into foster care :"( ?
    Heyy99's Avatar
    Heyy99 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 27, 2012, 06:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You and your counselor can sort out how to tell, when to tell, who to tell. That's not the most important part at first.
    You can't predict what your mom will do and you can't control it either, so you are going to need to talk about this privately for a while. When you don't remember who it was, 10 years ago, you have to be very cautious about people telling you it's all in your imagination (or you are lying). Sort it out in therapy. And work on why you feel like you have to tell your mom at the same time you tell your therapist - you don't!
    Why would they think I would make something up like that? My moms was always at work knowing I was always out side there was always grown men outside to.. I think my mom won't believe me because she I feel that she hates me she's always treated me badly in the family I was always the odd kid, getting int trouble,getting beat all the time ;"( I need to let this out I had suicide thoughts.. I may seem all happy everyday but inside I'm dying
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #8

    Sep 27, 2012, 08:53 PM
    People do think that way because it's easier to blame you (for lying) than it is to feel guilty for not protecting you. And if they knew what was going on, they feel even worse, but instead of being sorry, they get even more denying and angry, to protect themselves.

    I doubt that you can get into foster care at 17. The day you turn 18, you are an adult. Please let your therapist help you sort all this out and don't try to do everything (like telling anyone else) all in one day.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Sep 27, 2012, 09:27 PM
    First being raped many years ago, by someone when your mom was away is not going to get you out of your home today. You are not currently in any danger it appears, you don't even know who it was, a baby sitter, a boyfriend of a sitter , a family member, a neighbor.

    Since your mom never knew, she can not be held responsible, unless she left you withsomeone known to do this.

    So you report it, to get the person caught and get the arrested.

    ** beyond getting into counseling to get better and get past this.

    I see no way that you could get info foster care of even taken from thehome for this

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