[Neyomita]

He took me from my mother when I was 5years old and told me she did not want me and had even tried to kill me by burning me alive. I grew up without a mother and feeling unwanted by her with my severe burns as my constant reminder. My father was not a good care giver, he was abusive and extremely controlling, denying me much needed medical attention. As an adult I never sought out my mother or my mother's side of my family because of the rejection I felt. I also did not attempt to seek them out because my father constantly reinforced that their hatred for me was so great that my life would be in danger if I was to contact any of them. I am now 45 and I have chosen to distance myself away from the abusive and controlling person my father is and rarely speak to him. About a year ago, I unexpectedly received a letter from a cousin on my mother's side, then subsequently from my 2 sisters and brother. I was unsure and afraid to respond, but as the letters continued I began to learn a completely different side of the story of my life. My mother was a very poor woman living in a third world country she had dedicated her life to do anything and enlist anyone to help her try to find me with the small amounts of money she would save towards this end. She did not have success until now, when an unexpected coincidence from a mutual acquaintance made the connection. I have now learned that my mother had NEVER given me up nor had she EVER stopped loving and looking for me. The avalanche of emotions I'm dealing with now is at times very overwhelming. However, the bottom line is, I did not have to grow up without my mother, sisters, brother and extended family that loves me. I am angry that my father would play God with my life and take away something that was my basic human right... to live with and grow up with my mother in my life. Although I am beginning to know my family now, I can never get back the years and the relationship foundations that were taken from me. I want to sue my father for all this pain, hurt and emotional trauma he brought to my life by his decision to remove me from my mother and leave the country of my birth Costa Rica, never to return again.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would ask, why you EVER speak to him, since you say seldom, which means you do talk to him sometimes.

But you did not say where you live? But in most places the time frame to sue has long passed. I would strongly suggest you get professional counseling, to work on getting over this, being able to move forward is more important

[ScottGem]

You might be able to have him charged with kidnapping, but I doubt if you can successfully sue him.

[AK lawyer]

There are two sides to most stories.

• You grew up hearing your father's side.
• Now your mother and her family have given you their side.

The truth is probably somewhere in between.

At any rate, that is what a court of law would probably find, assuming you were to get that far (which is doubtful).

[Neyomita]

I avoid contact with him at all costs. Sadly even my children dislike him, caused not so much by anything I have said, but rather by his own behavior with them. I live in New Mexico. I know people sue for miriads of reasons, some border on absurdity and somehow they win. My father is a mizer in the truest sense of the word. I remember once when I was 14, I became ill with what I now recognize as strep throat. He refused to spend the money to take me to a doctor. My fever became dangerously high reaching close to 105f I was delirious and unable to swallow even my own saliva. I became dehydrated and weak. I was unable to get out of bed. Since he had business during the day, he would leave me alone locked in my room languishing for hours upon solitary hours. (I lived alone with my dad. He never remarried) By the 4rd day I was so bad, he made me get up and walk+bus (we had no car as he'd say they cost too much to run, maintain, insure, etc) to a pharmacy to see what they would recommend to get me better. They gave him some liquid and a gargle to administer to me. This was quite difficult to accomplish as my throat was so swollen and painful I couldn't swallow my own spit, let alone anything else. But the gargle did numb the pain enough so I could swallow the pain medication. It took almost a month to slowly recover, and life did go on, but it is just one of the many sad memories I carry with me. Today I have issues with my heart that I directly attribute to this incident though how do I prove it.

[joypulv]

If you can afford to sue him, talk to a reputable lawyer who won't just take your money and let it drag on. A case (civil, not criminal) might all have to hinge on something provable like being deliberately burned, but even that is going to be extremely difficult. Proving how he managed to keep your mother from her rights to shared custody is going to be next to impossible.
You write well, and should write your life story. That will be at least as therapeutic as suing.

[Fr_Chuck]

Proving the abuse, since had it been proven as a child, social services would have taken yoou out of the home. So you have medical records from childhood, that shows you were that ill for weeks before. What proof in writing that can be submitted to the court do you have to prove anything.