Not sure what this is!

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 05:58 AM

Ive been seeing this guy for 4 month's he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship but his actions show different

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:10 AM

I see him maybe one time during the week but he stays at my house just about every weekend. In the beginning it seem like he was starting to fall in love with me. A few weeks ago he said "we need to slow down cus he's not ready to be in a relationship" OMG that's not what is actions are showing. Now let's get to the juicy part. The sex is the BOMB lol. He performed oral sex on me for the first yime, all I van say is WOW!!

J_9 · Sep 24, 2012, 06:13 AM

Sounds like he is just interested in a trends with benefits situation.

Is that something you are prepared to deal with?

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Sounds like he is just interested in a trends with benefits situation.

Is that something you are prepared to deal with?

Nope but I really like him.

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:22 AM

Nope but I really like him. When Friday came I told him I can't do this anymore. He ask me what did I mean I really didn't explain but I didn't let him come over that night. However, he came Saturday night in which that was the night he gave me oral sex for the first time. I really like this guy what the heck do I do.

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:27 AM

Okay people I'm new to this site , I'm not sure if my questions are posting, if so please give advice.

JudyKayTee · Sep 24, 2012, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Okay people I'm new to this site , I'm not sure if my questions are posting, if so please give advice.

I see no question here - this is a Q and A site. This is more like a blog entry.

smoothy · Sep 24, 2012, 06:29 AM

Did you bother to look under your own profile to see for yourself?

JudyKayTee · Sep 24, 2012, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Nope but I really like him. When Friday came I told him I can't do this anymore. He ask me what did I mean I really didn't explain but I didn't let him come over that night. However, he came Saturday night in which that was the night he gave me oral sex for the first time. I really like this guy what the heck do I do.

You decide whether the sex, oral or otherwise, is worth being a booty call and nothing else.

I believe what people say - if they say they don't want a relationship I assume they are telling me the truth.

I see no signs that he wants a relationship - I do see that he wants/needs a booty call. Every time you say no and change it to yes he "wins" and you "lose."

JudyKayTee · Sep 24, 2012, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Did you bother to look under your own profile to see for yourself?

Good morning, Smoothy. Interesting "question" to start my day (?).

J_9 · Sep 24, 2012, 06:34 AM

Threads merged

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 24, 2012, 06:35 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Nope but I really like him.

You really like him, but all you are to him is a booty call. You liking him makes it so much easier for him to use you. Have a bit of self dignity. If he isn't willing to settle down and be in a relationship with you then he's not worth your time and you need to make that clear.

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You decide whether the sex, oral or otherwise, is worth being a booty call and nothing else.

I believe what people say - if they say they don't want a relationship I assume they are telling me the truth.

I see no signs that he wants a relationship - I do see that he wants/needs a booty call. Every time you say no and change it to yes he "wins" and you "lose."

Sometimes I feel like that's all it is but other times I feel like he really likes me

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:47 AM

Sometimes I feel like It's a booty call and if I tell him that he gets offended and says its never been about just sex.

C0bra_M3nace · Sep 24, 2012, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Sometimes I feel like It's a booty call and if I tell him that he gets offended and says its never been about just sex.

Then if it's not just about sex, where's his commitment? You need to stand up for yourself and stop being played for a fool.

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Sometimes I feel like that's all it is but other times I feel like he really likes me

Those other times when you feel he really like you are just him trying to keep you around.

smoothy · Sep 24, 2012, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Sometimes I feel like It's a booty call and if I tell him that he gets offended and says its never been about just sex.

So keep you panties on and you skirt or pants on. Keep your bra on and don't put anthing in your mouth except a fork or spoon that ever comes back out... See how long he hangs around if you aren't giving him sex... that will answer your question real quick...

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 06:57 AM

Wow!! He says he not ready for s serious relationship yet is because of financial issues right not and it has nothing to do with me. He want to take things slow and make sure its right because his past relationships were all negative. He says I am the only woman he's sleeping with.

JudyKayTee · Sep 24, 2012, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

Sometimes I feel like It's a booty call and if I tell him that he gets offended and says its never been about just sex.

So stop having sex with him and see if he hangs around.

How old are both of you?

kandyapple · Sep 24, 2012, 07:09 AM

I'm 42 he is 37

JudyKayTee · Sep 24, 2012, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by kandyapple

I'm 42 he is 37

At 42 you've never come across this situation before, no similar "lessons in life" until now?

Your wording led me to believe you were possibly in your teens. The sex is the bomb; the oral sex is like wow? Personally I'd rather be home, masturbating, than home being taken advantage of by a "sex is the bomb" and "wow" person - but apparently that's just me.

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