[christy32]

I hve a 14yr old woul love to give up rights don't want anything to do with her and her dad is in prison till she is 19what can I do

[sorcerer2020]

Children from 13 to 19 are going through a very special period and are rarely controllable through threats or discipline. Parents try to control them and this leads to battles that cannot be won.

If our intent is to protect them from harm, we have to realize that they are going to do what they're going to do with or without our approval. Staging a series of major battles rarely changes anything - worst case they move out and do it anyway so battle lost. There is no scenario where the parents win short term.

But if you define "winning" as long term being their friend once they recover their senses (and of course if they live through it) then you can win by being supportive, being kind, showing them the generous behavior and loving kindness that you want them to learn themselves - character is not what you demonstrate while things are perfect, it's what you display in the face of adversity - certainly nobody would disagree that you're facing adversity and the most difficult challenge for a parent.

Most people who ask these kinds of questions are looking for permission to throw their children out or battle them to the death. Sorry - both of those are no win scenarios for you. You'll feel guilty the rest of your life that you didn't find a better way. Once you realize that you cannot win these battles and whatever will happen is going to happen with or without you, then you realize that love is the only choice you have.

[teacherjenn4]

Before you end your parental rights, have you tried counseling? What are the issues?