[cheekygirly2011]

Hi there and thanks for reading what would be a very long essay lol. I'm 23 and my ex is 26, he and I were together for almost two years on and off. To cut long story short, we ended up breaking up for good as I found out he's been cheating. It's been almost a year now & I still can't get over him. I have been on dates and there are other guys wanting to be with me but my mind is just not in it.

My family absolutely hates him and since I am soooo close to my family, I feel like I'll be doing something wrong if I got back with him. Also I can't stand any of his family members after everything that has happened which wouldn't work as I am a great believer in getting on with my potential in-laws (I've always got on with the family of the guys I've been with). We speak every now and again & I know he'd still like to be with me.

I love him but I'm not sure if we can make it work this time... what do I do about my family? His family that I can't stand and also how I feel? Your insights would be greatly appreciated. Ideally it would be great if someone could wave their magic wand and I can forget I ever knew him/his family so I can move forward but since this won't go away, what do I do? Thanks!

[Homegirl 50]

I don't understand why you want to go back with him. If you are not dating him what either one of your families think does not matter.
You don't have to be with anyone right now. You will meet the right one in time, but you certainly don't need to go back to him.

[cheekygirly2011]

He has been sort of trying to get back with me ever since and he lets me know that he regrets everything. I only want to try again because I feel like we're not truly over but at the same time, I'm not entirely sure it's the best idea I've ever had. I know if my friends and family aren't so against it, I would have given it another chance no doubt but I feel like I'd be massively disappointing my people if I do go back to him especially if it doesn't end up working out...

[Homegirl 50]

Well you are grown and you live your life for you not your friends and family.
If you don't think it is a good idea, don't do it. If you want to give him another chance, do it. If it is the wrong decision, hopefully you will know to leave him alone.
It is one thing to talk to him but why do you have to go back to him? If he regrets it, let him prove it. No need of committing yourself to him just because he is hanging around again.

[cheekygirly2011]

We've both not been with anyone in a year.. to be fair, I really don't know what to do, but thanks anyway :)

[Homegirl 50]

Then talk to him, go out with him on occasion. You don't have to jump into a committed relationship with him. Just see how it goes.
Tell your friends this is your life.

[cheekygirly2011]

Lol it's more my family than my mates to be honest. I've invite him round to my flat so we can have a chat and I had exactly in mind what you said 'see how it goes' problem is I tell my family EVERYTHING. If it goes all right, one year down the like they will be disappointed I didn't tell them to start with and if I tell them now that I'm sort of seeing him and things don't work out in the end, I would look stupid. What do I do...

[cheekygirly2011]

Lol it's more my family than my mates to be honest. I've invited him round to my flat so we can have a chat and I had exactly in mind what you said 'see how it goes'. Problem is I tell my family EVERYTHING. If it goes all right, one year down the line, they will be disappointed I didn't tell them to start with and if I tell them now that I'm sort of seeing him and things don't work out in the end, I would look stupid. What do I do...

[Homegirl 50]

Why do you have to tell them? It's none of their business. And if things don't work, that is still no concern of theirs.
They get in your business because you let them in your business.

[cheekygirly2011]

You are absolutely right! Thank youuuu ever so much