[johnmokhtari]

My girlfriend its about 11 Weeks pregnant. Literally knocked her up on the first night, but before we found out (almost 6 Weeks later) we fell in love.. She was a big partier, me only the occasional partier. And since we've found out she has changed a lot, and in changing as best I can. I'm trying to do everything for her, things I would've never done, but it seems like whenever I do something for her out anything she sees it as not enough and all I get is resentment. I'm working more, looking for a better or second job, cleaning all the tine, and I hate cleaning, I even quit smoking weed. And I use it for depression. Age also has depression problems and can't drink it away like she used to... She blames me for ruining her party life and says I'm not doing enough for this pregnancy. I've never been good at communicating but am trying.now she says she loves me but is not in love with me... Now she wants time apart, her own apartment. But I'm still helplessly in love with her, and get carrying my child only strengthens that feeling. I don't know what to do, I can't see myself ever looking for another woman and want badly to make things work between us.. Can anyone help?

[JudyKayTee]

My girlfriend its about 11 Weeks pregnant. Literally knocked her up on the first night, but before we found out (almost 6 Weeks later) we fell in love.. She was a big partier, me only the occasional partier. And since we've found out she has changed a lot, and in changing as best I can. I'm trying to do everything for her, things I would've never done, but it seems like whenever I do something for her out anything she sees it as not enough and all I get is resentment. I'm working more, looking for a better or second job, cleaning all the tine, and I hate cleaning, I even quit smoking weed. And I use it for depression. Age also has depression problems and can't drink it away like she used to... She blames me for ruining her party life and says I'm not doing enough for this pregnancy. I've never been good at communicating but am trying.now she says she loves me but is not in love with me... Now she wants time apart, her own apartment. But I'm still helplessly in love with her, and get carrying my child only strengthens that feeling. I don't know what to do, I can't see myself ever looking for another woman and want badly to make things work between us.. Can anyone help?

Well, for starters I'd stop referring to "knocking her up." It's slang and disrespectful.

She's told you how she feels, rather clearly - she wants her own space, she loves you but she's not in love with you (I love my dog but I'm not in love with him, there's a difference). The best thing you can probably do is be supportive, give her space if that's what she wants. It sounds like you fell in love, but she did not.

This might also be her hormones speaking. There is no way to know other than asking her.

I trust you don't intend to smoke weed around the baby.

I also don't know what this means - " I even quit smoking weed. And I use it for depression. Age also has depression problems and can't drink it away like she used to... "

Age also has depression problems?

[johnmokhtari]

Well, for starters I'd stop referring to "knocking her up." It's slang and disrespectful.

She's told you how she feels, rather clearly - she wants her own space, she loves you but she's not in love with you (I love my dog but I'm not in love with him, there's a difference). The best thing you can probably do is be supportive, give her space if that's what she wants. It sounds like you fell in love, but she did not.

This might also be her hormones speaking. There is no way to know other than asking her.

I trust you don't intend to smoke weed around the baby.

I also don't know what this means - " I even quit smoking weed. And I use it for depression. Age also has depression problems and can't drink it away like she used to... "

Age also has depression problems?

I meant she, not age (t9). And in giving her her space, being supportive in every aspect, and of course I do not planning on smoking around the baby. I'm done smoking altogether. And this it's the first time I've ever said 'knocked up', I see it more as blessing from God. She used to be in love with me, but now that she's pregnant she just doesn't like me. Even though I have my faults, I'm trying desperately hard to fix those faults. Getting advice from other recent fathers, reading the what to expect when your expecting book (fathers portion of course) but it all seems to no avail...

[JudyKayTee]

I meant she, not age (t9). And in giving her her space, being supportive in every aspect, and of course I do not planning on smoking around the baby. I'm done smoking altogether. And this its the first time I've ever said 'knocked up', I see it more as blessing from God. She used to be in love with me, but now that she's pregnant she just doesn't like me. Even though I have my faults, I'm trying desperately hard to fix those faults. Getting advice from other recent fathers, reading the what to expect when your expecting book (fathers portion of course) but it all seems to no avail...

No two women are alike. I wouldn't be sure that this isn't just her hormones talking.

At any rate - actions speak louder than words and so I'd keep being supportive and understanding and listening to her.

Maybe she's having a problem believing you've changed your bad habits for good.

Does she want this baby?

[Fr_Chuck]

She did not want a baby, but obviouly you were not using enough birth control. She liked her old life style which she may or may not go back to after baby is born.

It sounds like two people who really are not in love, are trying this just for the baby, I would say decide what you want in your life and follow it. Just be there to help support the child.

[johnmokhtari]

No two women are alike. I wouldn't be sure that this isn't just her hormones talking.

At any rate - actions speak louder than words and so I'd keep being supportive and understanding and listening to her.

Maybe she's having a problem believing you've changed your bad habits for good.

Does she want this baby?

Yes she does want the baby, especially since her chances to conceive were slim to none. And I want this baby. I hope its just her hormones, because as bad as I want this relationship to work for me, I want it even more to work for or baby.

[JudyKayTee]

Yes she does want the baby, especially since her chances to conceive were slim to none. And I want this baby. I hope its just her hormones, because as bad as I want this relationship to work for me, I want it even more to work for or baby.

If she got pregnant the very first time you had sex - and I'm sorry to ask this, but it could be an issue - how sure are you that you're the father? If she thought she couldn't conceive and, therefore, wasn't using any form of birth control (or protection from disease) and had sex with you who else was she having sex with that month?

Again - not "slamming" her, but I think it's a legitimate question.

[johnmokhtari]

If she got pregnant the very first time you had sex - and I'm sorry to ask this, but it could be an issue - how sure are you that you're the father? If she thought she couldn't conceive and, therefore, wasn't using any form of birth control (or protection from disease) and had sex with you who else was she having sex with that month?

Again - not "slamming" her, but I think it's a legitimate question.

Far as I know I'm the only partner she's had within the allotted time frame.. And far as stds go, I know she's clean because the doctor said so. I go with her to the doctors every time.