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    meli92's Avatar
    meli92 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 17, 2012, 05:35 PM
    My boyfriend wants to stop having sex for our relationship?
    Me and my boyfriend been toghther for 7 months we live toghther and we been fighting lately then he text me saying we need to stop having sex for awhile to help our relationship? To feel comfortable with each other really?
    Rize's Avatar
    Rize Posts: 102, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Sep 17, 2012, 05:43 PM
    My guess is taking sex away causes u to feel withdrawal and miss him, inturn making the next one more passionate and fix things. As dumb a that sounds, it's probably what he's thinking.

    But the only way to fix things is to actually fix things. Not create another layer of problem and hope things mend. Work it out the good old way by talking things through and taking a break if necessary
    meli92's Avatar
    meli92 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 17, 2012, 05:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Rize View Post
    My guess is taking sex away causes u to feel withdrawal and miss him, inturn making the next one more passionate and fix things. As dumb a that sounds, it's probably what he's thinking.

    But the only way to fix things is to actually fix things. Not create another layer of problem and hope things mend. Work it out the good old way by talking things through and taking a break if necessary
    Well right now I left home cause of a fight we had I'm now going back tomorrow. In his words he says " if u wanna come back on one condition. no sex because i hered a thing idk if it will work but ppl who wait to have sex have better sexs lifes and relationships" he also says he wants me and him to feel comfortable with each other? I know this is bad to think but my first thing poped in my mind he's cheating on me I'm lost
    Rize's Avatar
    Rize Posts: 102, Reputation: 9
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    #4

    Sep 18, 2012, 11:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by meli92 View Post
    well right now i left home cause of a fight we had i m now going back tommorrow. in his words he says " if u wanna come back on one condition. no sex because i hered a thing idk if it will work but ppl who wait to have sex have better sexs lifes and relationships" he also says he wants me and him to feel comfortable with each other? i know this is bad to think but my first thing poped in my mind hes cheating on me im lost

    To be entirely honest, even before I read the last part of what you said right now, I thought the same thing.

    There is a good possibility he might and I do not intend to freak you out. Something just seemed a little strange.

    People can come up with the most ridiculous reasonings to justify their behaviors when they are spin thing they ought not to be.

    It could be that he means what he says because it's after all "to bring you closer" as he puts it but no man will ever say no sex and he might just be saying this to make it seem like it for the betterment of your relationship when in turn it might not be.

    7 months is not a long time. Please be prepared for the worst and dig deeper. My advice, be weary of what he says especially if you are getting into to more arguments than necessary these days. Figure out what the real reasoning is. And no matter what happens stay strong. Wish u the best. Hope it turns out to be nothing after all!
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #5

    Sep 18, 2012, 11:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by meli92 View Post
    well right now i left home cause of a fight we had i m now going back tommorrow. in his words he says " if u wanna come back on one condition. no sex because i hered a thing idk if it will work but ppl who wait to have sex have better sexs lifes and relationships" he also says he wants me and him to feel comfortable with each other? i know this is bad to think but my first thing poped in my mind hes cheating on me im lost
    I wouldn't go as far as assuming he's cheating. Sex, amongst other things, can get boring and meaningless. He's probably at the stage now where having sex is repetitive and has no more emotional 'connection'. I don't think a "no sex clause" will make you feel more comfortable with one another but depending on how long you wait, the next time will be more exciting and pleasurable.

    I would be more concerned with the fighting. If it's bad enough that you have to leave the house for a night then I'd start to wonder if you both are compatible with each other. I would probably suggest taking this time alone to rethink whether this relationship is going to work out in the long run.

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