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    JosieAsks's Avatar
    JosieAsks Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 14, 2012, 04:39 AM
    Divorced boyfriend - ever marry again?
    Hi, just from the start let me tell you that my boyfriend and I have a bit of an unusual relationship. He is 45 and I am 21. We have been together a year and a half, live together and have a dog together and I couldn't love him more than I do. He feels the same and our families say how happy we both are. The only problem is is that he's divorced with no children but has had a vasectomy. He has told me that he proposed to his ex wife after 6 months being together and they were married for 12 years. About 6 months into our relationship we went on holiday where he said 'barbados is a nice place to propose.. ' he said things like this a couple of times since but has never done it! I want children one day and he said at the beginning of our relationship about having his vasectomy reversed, he even went to the doctors to talk to them about it, and has said how he wants a little girl like me. Now he says that he never wants children and it would ruin everything and that he hadn't meant to lead me on In the beginning because he was never serious about it. Do you think this is the reason he hasn't asked me to marry him? I've considered all the options but I just can't walk away from him so with or without children I will stay. Sometimes I'm just scared that he will never make a commitment to me because all I want is us to be together always. Do you think he won't ever ask me because he thinks we want different things? His ex wife also took so much money from him could he be scared of it happening again? I'm not a bunny boiler or a control freak but after a year and a half of what I feel is a serious relationship, is it unreasonable to want some commitment? He always tells me that I'm beautiful and how lucky he is and I better not leave him for a younger model but why doesn't he make sure? Thanks for reading xx
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Sep 14, 2012, 05:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JosieAsks View Post
    Hi, just from the start let me tell you that my boyfriend and I have a bit of an unusual relationship. He is 45 and I am 21. We have been together a year and a half, live together and have a dog together and I couldnt love him more than I do. He feels the same and our families say how happy we both are. The only problem is is that he's divorced with no children but has had a vasectomy. He has told me that he proposed to his ex wife after 6 months being together and they were married for 12 years. About 6 months into our relationship we went on holiday where he said 'barbados is a nice place to propose..' he said things like this a couple of times since but has never done it! I want children one day and he said at the beginning of our relationship about having his vasectomy reversed, he even went to the doctors to talk to them about it, and has said how he wants a little girl like me. Now he says that he never wants children and it would ruin everything and that he hadn't meant to lead me on In the beginning because he was never serious about it. Do you think this is the reason he hasnt asked me to marry him? I've considered all the options but I just can't walk away from him so with or without children I will stay. Sometimes I'm just scared that he will never make a commitment to me because all I want is us to be together always. Do you think he won't ever ask me because he thinks we want different things? His ex wife also took so much money from him could he be scared of it happening again? I'm not a bunny boiler or a control freak but after a year and a half of what I feel is a serious relationship, is it unreasonable to want some commitment? He always tells me that I'm beautiful and how lucky he is and I better not leave him for a younger model but why doesn't he make sure?! Thanks for reading xx

    It could be anything. Maybe was so "burned" by the failure of his marriage that he will never marry again; he may have said whatever it took in the beginning to get you interested and now his true feelings are coming out; he may love you but doesn't want to be committed to you; the only way to know is to ask him.

    If you want different things, marriage is not going to change that.

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